Written by Puff Staff

Friday, 15 March 2002

User Rating: / 1

ratings and scoresrobusto
simonoffsimonoff robusto
Trouble...this box not only looked like Linda Tripp, it held contents as appealing. When we started receiving emails about a great cigar coming out of Cancun, Mexico, we we're very interested. As we often do with our reviews, we went out to the web, found the Simonoff web site, and placed an order for a box of robustos. Around the same time, we found Neptune cigars on the web, and ordered a box of those. Neptune was rated in December, Simonoff was supposed to be. If "Wild Ted" of Unabomber fame wasn't known to be in prison, we would have been worried when we received the following package. Taped together in a spastic way that made you think it may be ticking, was our box of cigars from Simonoff. Looks can be deceiving, let's go inside. Trouble...this box not only looked like Linda Tripp, it held contents as appealing. (See picture above.) 2 of 25 cigars were smokeable at best. The picture that was on our home page showed three of THE BEST cigars in the box. Oh yeah, the box, a fairly cheesy cedar cigar box with Simonoff stickers obviously slapped on in a "who gives a damn" sort of way. Already had been opened, seal broken. What's going on? Easy guys, no need to worry, accidents happen. "Hakuna Matata", as they said in the Lion King. We immediately contacted Simonoff, and they promptly emailed us saying, and I quote: "The delivery and condition of the cigars you received is totally unacceptable. Although I am not sure what has happened at this point, I can assure you this situation is being addressed TONIGHT and will not be tolerated! You should be receiving correspondence with regards to this issue within the next day or two. Since I control the site content, and e-commerce of, I have stopped all credit card processing of this order. There is no charge on your card. I apologize for the inconvenience this has caused. I will personally see that this issue is resolved immediately." P.S. Simonoff.Net is no longer of 1/19/00?!? So we waited...and waited...and waited some more. We waited over three weeks, and never heard a thing. Strike two. We emailed them again, and waited, and waited...well you get the picture. Never heard from Simonoff again. Strike Three. We tried to smoke a couple...wrappers came peeling off, caps and feet fell apart, we had wrapper tobacco all over the place. So, I suppose we could give it a rating of "Not Applicable", or "?", but the bottom line was we didn't get what was advertised. Everything about this really makes us scratch our head. Their web site looks fantastic, very professionally done. If you take a look at the article they link to from there home page (they also have a link to least they did, maybe not anymore.) all their founder "Simon" preaches is quality, quality, quality. In fact they even claim to have the exclusive contract to produce this cigar for the Ritz Carlton chain of hotels. They stumped us. This cigar failed, or more precisely Simonoff failed. We gave them over 6 weeks to get back to us to suggest a resolution, but nothing. It doesn't really matter how good your cigars may or may not be, if you blow off your customer, they'll be bound to blow off your cigars. It sucks when your cigars aren't smokeable. Vital Statistics: Shape = Robusto Length = 5" RG = 50 Wrapper = ? Filler = ? Binder = ? Estimated Cost = $149 box of 25

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