Written by Puff Staff

Thursday, 24 October 2013

User Rating: / 5

al caponearnold schwarzenegger
babe ruthcostume
fidel castrogroucho marx
halloweenjay z
kinky friedmanmark twain
marlene dietrich

Our beloved late President had a fondness for fine cigars and fine ladies, so have one on each arm this Halloween. Wear a 60’s era vintage suit with JFK mask and wig. Always have a cigar in one hand, preferably a pre-embargo Petit Upman. On your other arm, flaunt your sexy date, dressed as Marilyn Monroe on the night she sang “Happy Birthday” to the Prez.

Arnold Schwarzenegger
Been working on your abs and pecs? Show ‘em off by dressing up as Terminator/Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger. Start with a black leather jacket and black shades, then check out the riot gear at your local Army-Navy store and don’t forget the bullet belts. For accessories, add as many toy guns as you can carry. For real political incorrectness, your date can dress as a Latina nanny and carry a baby doll.

Mark Twain



We’ve all seen actors like Hal Holbrook dress up as this beloved author, so it’s not that difficult to put together. The main components are a white three-piece suit, white shirt, long white hair and white moustache. If you already have the last two, you’re halfway there. Carry a copy of “Tom Sawyer” in one hand and a cheap cigar in the other. Since Twain smoked anywhere from 22 to 40 cigars per day, he didn’t go in for quality.

Marlene Dietrich
If you’re a female cigar aficionado, or just like to use Halloween as an excuse to dress up in drag, why not go as this legendary Hollywood leading lady? Look for a vintage ladies’ tux, white dress shirt and top hat. Your cigar should be small but classy and expensive.
Rush Limbaugh
If you’re already fat, loud and obnoxious, why not take advantage of it for one night? Put on your best suit from the Big & Large emporium, light a Punch Double Corona and wander from one party to another calling the other guests “lib’ruls” and “sluts” while stuffing your face with free booze and food. This will probably give you the chance to let out a year’s worth of frustration, but you’re not going to get laid.

Babe Ruth



This legendary sports figure was best known for being one of the greatest baseball players of all time, but off the field, he had a taste for the fine things, like food, drink, cigars and women. Look for a vintage baseball uniform, preferably Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees. (This look works better if you’re a bit on the heavy side.) Your baseball groupie date can carry the liquor and fatty snacks you’ll need to get through the evening, while you carry your trusty bat and a Babe Ruth Perfecto.

Have a Happy (and smoke-filled) Halloween!

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