Written by Ashley

Monday, 06 June 2005

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dating tipswomen and romance

This week's article: We all know just how nerve-racking a first date can be. How they can leave us shy and silent which then blow our chance of getting a second date. Well, there are some things that you can do to make a good impression on your first date...

Dating AdviceSince first impressions are everything, you will want to read on to find out what you should, and should not, do on your first date.

To begin with, you will want to make sure that you do not have dinosaur breath, and that your clothes do not scream "Have sex with me now!" You will also want to make sure that you pick your date up on time, in your own car, with a flower. If you are late, your date may assume that you do not care and so she may not wait for you to arrive. Also, by arriving late you're already sending your date a message that you do not want to convey. You are telling her that you are lazy and lacking initiative. That is the last thing you want to say about yourself!

Just as soon as you arrive, begin making sure that your date feels comfortable. In turn, this will help you to relax and enjoy yourself as well. Take a moment to compliment her on her choice of clothing or other non-overtly sexual attribute. Then, throughout the evening, continue to do little things for your date such as opening the car door without remarking, "I'm just doing this because my door is broken." Once inside the car, ask your date about her musical preferences and adjust your car radio accordingly. 

Make sure that you are taking your date somewhere unique. Be imaginative! Your first date does not have to be of the old "dinner and a movie" variety. After all, you yourself would be one of the first to admit that when you go to dinner at dinnertime, you cannot expect the best service. So, you are better off using your imagination, taking her somewhere special, since it will leave a lasting impression upon her memory.

While you are together, you will want to be an interesting date! Ask her questions about herself. After all, you don't want to have long periods of silence, when no one knows what to say, since these seem to last a lifetime and will make both of you think that the other person is dull and boring. Some things that you will not want to mention are past relationships and marriage or kids. Of course this doesn't mean that you will want to spend the entire night talking about yourself either. This will only make you look "stuck up." Instead concentrate on getting to know your date better. Ask her questions about herself that cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no." Then, while your date is talking, show that your interested by not interrupting them. When she pauses, encourage her to continue talking by asking her questions about what she is talking about. For instance, if your date says she likes to travel then ask her what the most unique place is she has traveled to is. 

Even though you are trying to get to know your date better, you still do not want to ask her too many personal questions. Remember! This is your first date and she will not want to reveal too much about herself just yet. If you like each other and want to continue with the relationship then there will be plenty of time to ask more intimate questions.

When she tells you a joke, laugh at it, even if you have heard the joke 100 times before, or even if it is just not funny at all. When she comments that something is cute or pretty, make sure to smile and agree with her. Not only will these small gestures make her feel as though you are interested in her, but it will also make her feel more comfortable.

Throughout the date make sure that you remain confident. This will not only say a lot about you, but it will also help you to get through that first date with ease. Plus, if you try to portray yourself as something that you are not, your date will eventually see through your disguise. Remember that an important part of being confident is remembering your manners. Little things like eating with your mouth closed will create a positive impression of you. You also do not want to get drunk on your first date. This may lead you to make unwanted advances on your partner, or accept those unwanted advances that you really are not ready for. Not to mention, you do not want to spend half of the night in the bathroom vomiting as your date will not think too highly of that.

Speaking of sex . . . 

Make sure that your romantic or sexual advances are well warranted and have some warning. You do not want to simply open your fly and inform your date that she's, "only seven inches from paradise." Something more subtle, such as saying "It's already 9:00?" as you place your arm around her shoulder is much more proper. Nevertheless, if your date does not seem to appreciate them, then do not pursue this topic. This is especially true if your date has already told you "no." However, if things do go your way, make sure to stay safe, wear a condom.

When your date asks you to take her home, you will want to do so without much drama. When you arrive back at her place, walk her to her door and give her a goodbye hug or kiss if things went well. At this point you will also want to remember to thank her for the date. Not only is this good manners but this is where you will get your chance to end it if you are not interested. On the other hand, it also gives you a chance to ask her out on another date if you would like to see her again. Once she is ready to go into her house, wave goodbye while you walk away and promptly head home.

If you are able to remember these few simple rules of dating, things will not be so nerve-racking for you. Instead, you will be able to make a good impression on your first date, and first impressions are everything. 

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© 2005, Kevin Godbee

Re-print with permission only.
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