Written by Ashley

Monday, 13 June 2005

User Rating: / 1

dating tipswomen and romance

This week's article: Have you ever noticed that friends often don't arouse strong romantic feelings in some of us? They may seem perfect in all sorts of ways: funny, great to be around, smart, trustworthy, similar, and familiar. But no matter how hard we try, they just don't arouse strong romantic feeling in us? This is what I'd like to call the Brother Phenomenon...

Dating and Relationship AdviceDo some of the girls that you know think of you like you are their brother? This may be the reason that some women simply cannot get past the friendship phase with you. Why does this happen so often? Most likely it is because people linger too long getting to know one another, without making it clear right away as to whether their time together is a "real date" or time spent "just hanging out." This may be because you have felt the initial rush of interest in a friend, but suppressed those feelings because you thought that she wasn't interested in you. She very well may have felt these same feelings for you but when you first began hanging out you didn't notice it. So you have let time pass, and before you know it you're like a brother to her. She has known you as a friend for too long, and she's no longer romantically interested in you. 

These women are typically known as a "fuck buddy." They are glamorous and flirtatious. They are the life of the party, and oftentimes they are commitment phobic. Nevertheless, they enjoy having sex so much that they are a "sex pot." This woman is simply someone who you enjoy your bachelorhood with.

Now that we have defined what is "fuck buddy" material, it is time to define what is "girlfriend" material. So, what makes a woman "girlfriend" material? A girlfriend is a woman who a guy would want to date, to spend time with, and to pursue a serious relationship on their way toward marriage.

When you are looking for a good girlfriend, someone who is marriage material, there are ten traits which you should look for. These include: 

(1.) She should have a good life of her own. This means that she takes care of yourself, and finds time to hang out with her friends and family. She should enjoy life's pleasures as well. All of this combines to show that she is not expecting for you to be her entire life. 

(2.) She never makes the first move in pursuing you. Instead, she should be waiting for you to initiate and plan dates. This shows her that you are interested in her and thus puts her at ease. 

(3.) She should be sexy but not trampy. At the beginning of the relationship this means that she refrains from making overtly sexual comments. Instead, she flirts with you by using nonsexual touches. For instance, she should be flirting with you by touching your forearm or knee briefly. As the relationship gets more serious though, sexual touch and public displays of affection become more appropriate. 

(4.) While you shouldn't expect a "pure white bride," she should still wait to have sex since this is a big step that changes the dynamics of a relationship. She should wait about a month before being willing to have sex with you. This is because women become more attached to their partner once they have had sex with you. Therefore, you don't want to make a relationship look or feel more committed than it truly is.

(5.) She should do little things to show you that she cares about you. These things should be something that she WANTS to do, not something that she feels like she has to do. By doing these little things it should show you that she cares about you enough to pay attention to your individual needs. Your response should be to do little things that show her that you care for her as well. 

(6.) She should help you to look good in front of important people. In turn, you should do the same for her.

(7.) She should never ever pressure you in any way, nor should you pressure her in any way. This means that she avoids calling you several times throughout the day or dropping little hints about your future together. The "M" word (marriage) shouldn't be a constantly looming part of her vocabulary.

(8.) She should not take any crap from anyone. She should not accept bad behavior. In turn, you should respect her because you cannot get away with anything.

(9.) She should choose you because you are a good man. What makes you a good man? You are honest and dependable, that simple. This means that you treat her right. Chivalry is not dead! You should also have compatible views about money since this is the number one fight that most couples have. Sure, opposites attract, but that doesn't mean that you should allow yourself to be coupled with a person who foolishly throws their money around.

(10.) She should know and understand that love is the biggest part of a relationship. So, just what is love? It is a unique sense of comfort and acceptance coupled with the feeling that someone else's happiness is as important to you as your own.

Since you now know what to look for in a "fuck buddy" and what makes a woman "girlfriend" material, you are prepared to decide precisely what you are looking for in a woman. You know when you first approach her what you would like the dynamics of the relationship to be. So, there is no need to feel unprepared in meeting and creating new relationships with women. Now go out, have fun, be relaxed, and create a new relationship.

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© 2005, Kevin Godbee

Re-print with permission only.
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