Written by Ashley

Monday, 20 June 2005

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dating tipswomen and romance

This week's article: Have you ever found yourself wondering how you should go about approaching a woman that you like? Have you ever found yourself wondering if there are any sure fire ways in which you can succeed in approaching a woman?..

Dating & Relationship AdviceWell, there are some methods which have proven successful. As with everything else in life, practice makes perfect. There are three basic attitudes that will help you succeed in approaching women.

First of all, when you find a woman that you wish to pursue, don't fret over the outcome right away. Remind yourself that she is not the only hot girl out there. So, if things don't work out this time, leave well enough alone and move on. After all, you do not want to look desperate. 

The second common mistake that many men make is in thinking that by doing a favor for a girl, she will then like you, but this is simply not true. The opposite is actually what happens, so just don't bother. Woman are not likely to reward you sexually just because you are overly nice, give favors, pay for lunch, or buy her things. Now this doesn't mean that you should never do anything nice for a girl. This just means that you should do these things because you want to be nice to a person. 

Third and finally, you must realize that there is no girl out there whom is worth obsessing about! In fact, the more that you think about an encounter, the more likely you are going to be to mess it up. After all, it is easy to see in your actions and hear in your tone of voice when you are acting obsessed. Not to mention, women can very easily tell when a you are acting desperate. So if you can avoid coming off as looking desperate or obsessed, then you will appear calm, cool, and collected. Therefore, don't spend your entire day thinking about and planning what you are going to do whenever the time for the date comes around. Don't spend time worrying about what you are going to say, what you are going to wear, and what you are going to do. Simply carry with you the attitude of, "we will see what happens the next time we meet." This way you won't be driving yourself crazy either.

So, now that you know what you shouldn't do when approaching a woman, here are some things that you SHOULD DO. 

When approaching women you should concentrate on three things. These things are setting her at ease, impressing her, and getting her phone number. Everything else is optional. After all, the whole reason why you are approaching this woman is to get her phone number so that you can pursue her even further.

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So, why is it important to set her at ease? You need to remember that women get approached more than you think they do by a lot of weirdoes and perverts. Thus, women automatically put up their defenses when a guy approaches them. They become more critical and irritable. So, how do you get a woman past these defense mechanisms? Simply be yourself! Be friendly, smile, and keep the mood light. If you are nervous, she is going to know that you are trying to pick her up, and that is something that you do not want to do since many women will think that this is the only reason why you are talking to them. Instead, carry on a casual conversation, chat with her, make little jokes when appropriate, and don't be afraid to disagree with her or tease her. Anything goes at this point. Just as long as you are treating her like you would treat anyone else, she will notice and drop her barriers. 

As far as impressing her goes, this is where the ball game is, so to speak. You can tell if you have hit a "home run" when you ask her for her phone number, because it is at this point that the woman really has to stop and think whether or not she wants you calling her house. If you didn't impress her, you're not going to get her phone number. However, if she finds you to be of interest, then she will in turn give you her phone number. It really is as simple as that.

Now you know how to go about approaching a woman that you like. You know ways in which you can succeed in approaching a woman. These methods have proven successful, but you will still need to practice them to make them perfect. Finding the right woman is still going to be a bit of a numbers game since some woman are already taken, others will not give out their phone number to anyone, and still others simply are not interested. So, don't get frustrated if you find yourself approaching the "wrong" women. Instead, continue using these tips and eventually you WILL succeed. 

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© 2005, Kevin Godbee

Re-print with permission only.
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