Written by Tommy Zarzecki

Monday, 01 October 2007

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I love and cherish smoking fine cigars. It’s not a hobby, and it’s certainly not a habitual vice – it is more of an outright passion. Sitting back and relaxing with a good cigar quells the mind and stirs the soul. It revitalizes and invigorates, transforming a mentally and physically exhausted being into a relaxed and clear minded gent. Unwinding after a long, hard day with a premium hand rolled cigar is a rite of passage, a joyous moment of solitude, and a celebration for another day well lived.

Cigars have always been associated with celebration. The birth of a child, a victory on the field, or a gain in the stock market has always caused lovers of the leaf to gather in exaltation. Having a “smoke” with a good buddy garners fraternal bonding and stimulating conversation. In fact, the cigar just may be the world’s ultimate bonding tool. A former president of ours even found his torpedo to be a bonding tool of a very different nature.

When you think about it, there is nothing even remotely pretentious about a cigar. While some may purchase jewelry or fine clothing in order to impress those about him, a cigar, as Sigmund Freud once said, is just a cigar. It was born for one purpose – to give perhaps forty-five minutes to an hour’s worth of pleasure to its owner and then it is gone, poof. A once oily-brown cylindrical work of art is reduced to ashes, returning to the very earth from where it once came.

While some enjoy a light and golden Connecticut wrapped cigar, others a hearty and earthy dark Nicaraguan, and then of course those who will only partake in the fruits of the island ninety miles south of Key West – we can all agree on one thing: we are devotees of the leaf. We are mesmerized by the alluring scent of its blue swirling smoke that calls us like sirens in the night. This is far beyond an addiction my friend, it is truly a spiritual encounter.

Now for someone who doesn’t smoke cigars, they would read my sacred words above and most likely blurt out a simple yet meaningful: What the F@#K?! It is because they do not and care not to understand our love affair with our puros. There is no empathy for our emotional attachment to the stoag. To them it is a disgusting, stinking habit that causes illness and breeds contempt. They frown upon us like we are leapers who should be colonized and placed on an island of our own. Bastards.

And to make matters worse, these smug turds wish to eradicate…annihilate our very source of enjoyment. They will not rest until there is complete genocide in the tobacco world. The politically correct, do-gooders of society wish to save us from our very own selves because we apparently are incapable of making rational and competent decisions.

Entire U.S. cities are banning smoking everywhere within their towns – in the open streets, cars, and even in residential back yards. Good Lord in Heaven this is some kind of madness found in an old Hollywood script, yet we are the actors and the screenplay is for real. What the bloody hell happened to the land of the free where the brave sacrificed so we could have choice?

And now the new tobacco tax is being bandied about under the guise of saving children. Putting millions of workers worldwide out of jobs is not the answer to saving the children. But these scathing low-life politicians can only sustain their careers if they capture your vote. So they will pander to the largest common denominator, using sick children as their rallying cry. And you know that these thieving dirtbags enjoy a good smoke as much as we do. But they are in the position of power. They can get all the contraband they desire. Again I say, bastards.

Does this piss you the hell off? God damn it, it should. I’m friggin’ steaming just typing this.

Guys, we’ve got to make noise… a hell of a lot of noise. We need to rattle the cages of these dirty stinking political apes and get their attention once and for all. We must be heard as a group that will not succumb to the type of tyrannical rule that our forefathers battled against.

I love and cherish smoking fine cigars and I bet you do too. No one is going to take away my right to choose what’s best for me. And no one is taking away my cigars.

You heard me. – Tommy Z.

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