Written by Ashley

Monday, 22 August 2005

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dating tipswomen and romance

This week's article: Has your relationship lost its fizzle? Are you or your partner finding it difficult to express affection? There really are numerous reasons why this may occur in any relationship. Most of the time it is because of a recent traumatic change that has occurred in your relationship. Talk to your partner about the changes that you have noticed in her behavior towards you and how this has made you feel. By bringing your feelings out into the open, you may be able to reinvigorate your marriage...

Dating & Relationship AdviceWhen you are discussing your relationship with your partner, it is important that you communicate effectively. This means keeping the focus on yourself. Use sentences that begin with the word "I," instead of ones that begin with the word "you." This will make your partner feel less defensive and thus your conversation will be more productive. Use compassion when you broach this subject, and listen with an open mind to what your partner has to say. By creating a trusting environment, your partner will feel safe and confident enough to express their true feelings. If it is simply a matter of needing more special moments together, here are some suggestions for you to try:

(1.) Go away together for a weekend. Enjoy a nice romantic dinner and discuss how the two of you can work to make your relationship better. You might even enjoy going to a romantic bed and breakfast. This should be a fairly inexpensive, relaxing and comfortable time for the two of you.

(2.) While sometimes it may seem as though it is too much work, you need to set aside time alone and away with each other. So schedule it into your life, that way you will have time and energy for one another. Include a "date" into your weekly schedule. This will allow you to get out of the hum-drum routine of daily living. Just make sure that this is not planned for the end of a busy day since you may then be too tired to enjoy the date. This date can be as simple as lighting a candle and enjoying a romantic dinner, with champagne and the good china, at home. You could even go to bed early on that night. Lay there and read together, talk, play a game that both of you like or watch TV in each others arms. 

(3.) Take time to be work at communicating your needs, fears, hopes, etc. When you fall into bed at night, fall into each others arms and smile or talk yourself to sleep. 

(4.) Take a shower together. Have fun painting each other with kids soap, and then rubbing it off in the shower. It's very nice and very relaxing, and a lot of fun! Even if you don't have time to play in the shower, you will still have at least ten intimate minutes a day together.

(5.) Adjust your sleeping schedules so that you can have time together in the morning before rushing off to face your busy day. Use that extra hour to talk and cuddle with each other.

(6.) Just as important as it is to take time out to be together, it is also equally important for you to take time out to be alone with yourself. Taking this time for ourselves often refreshes us to be able to take time for others.

While these things may sound simple, they will add fizzle back into your relationship. They will help the two of you find a way to be more intimate and thus better able to communicate. For any of these things to take place it may mean that you have to re-evaluate your priorities and not worry about loosing a few minutes of sleep in lieu of romance.

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© 2005, Kevin Godbee

Re-print with permission only.
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"Women. Can't live with them. Can't kill them." - Tom Arnold, True Lies. You can "Ask Ashley" and get advice directly from a woman on how to deal with these creatures us men love, but can't figure out. Check back each week for a new article and feel free to email your questions directly to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . Maybe she'll write on article based on your question.

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