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Written by David DeAngelo

Monday, 17 October 2005

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Tags:
dating tipsleisure and relaxation
women and romance

Guest Article From David DeAngelo

Where To Meet Women, How To Approach Them

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave! Your material is phenomenal! I've always been C&F, but struggled with my ability to approach women I didn’t know. That dam fear of rejection ran deep. Well, after reading your book and specifically, the example of your friend who went to the mall just started approaching women and introducing himself until he drove the fear out, I decided to take a similar approach. Whenever I saw a women I thought was HOT, (at the bar, restaurant, library, or pretty much anywhere) well, that feeling in my stomach would begin. So, keeping your teaching in mind, I took a quick breath, envisioned myself being successful and moved in with the following "line". Hi! My name is J- and I'm performing an exercise to eliminate the fear of approaching women whom I find attractive." "Thanks for participating!" I do that with a completely serious facial expression and an extended handshake. Then end with a Sly smile and simply go on my way. Well, 70% of the time I get turned right back around by them and end up walking off
trimphantly with an email or phone number in my pocket. For the times I don't get turned RIGHT back around, I catch them staring me down from across the room/bar/wherever I am and I just make my way back over there when I'm good and ready. Ok, my question is: I've been dating a lot of different girls. I am usually able to determine if I would like to make things last with them within the first two dates. My problem is with the girls whom I just wish to be friends with or even just put behind me, how do I let them down easy? I don't want to be a jerk or burn any bridges, but how do I get them to STOP friggin' calling ME! This is especially difficult after being intimate with a woman. Some pointers and examples of tact in this situation would be greatly appreciated! HOW DO I TURN IT OFF, DAVE? J.D.M. 26 - Chicago


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yea, wow... you sure are in a tough spot. Sorry to hear about your dilemma. First off, great job getting out there and DOING SOMETHING about your fear of rejection. I'm glad I could be a part of it. Now, for your situation with too many women calling you... The issue here is an EMOTIONAL issue. If you do certain things and communicate in a certain way, you will trigger ATTRACTION in a woman. If you trigger ATTRACTION, you will be far more likely to be in control of the situation (and you're more likely to be successful with women in general). Now, just like you can trigger that amazing emotion called ATTRACTION with your communication and body language, you can also trigger OTHER emotions as well. And one of these emotions, for lack of a better term, is called LOVE. Now, I don't want to get into a philosophical discussion of what "love is", and how long it takes to feel "true love" for another person... But I will say that the "beginnings" of love can be observed and described. Have you seen any episodes of 
the bizarre T.V. show "The Bachelor"?

You'll notice that several of the women have said things like "I am starting to have feelings for him"? When they say this, they're talking about something OTHER than just ATTRACTION. In a nutshell, I'll just say that if you ACT like a guy that wants a woman to LOVE you, then it will often HAPPEN. This includes: 

-Calling and seeing a woman too often
-Acting like a "boyfriend"
-"Courting" a woman actively

If you don't want a woman to get those "feelings", then don't call or see her more than once or twice a week. Don't act like her boyfriend. And don't "COURT" HER! There's nothing wrong with going out with a woman a few times, then not wanting to see her again. The problems come when you ACT like you want something MORE from a woman, and then she starts to see you in a different way and have FEELINGS for you. There's something called an "implied social contract". This is when you do something in a way that "implies" something. If you do things that imply that you want to be her boyfriend or husband (like calling and seeing her all the time, paying tons of attention to her, courting her, etc.) then you are IMPLYING that you want her to have feelings for her. And she will. Solve this problem before it happens. Don't imply.


***QUESTION***

Okay, gettin the brown nosin' otta the way first, I love the strategies in the E-Book! It not only makes you a better date for ladies (I just had a girl I went out with the other night say literally "you were a much better date than most guys I've been out with... you're so much more interesting!") but it makes the date better for YOU as well! When I'm not worrying about "will she like me" "what does she want me to do" and "am I doin' the right thing here?" and just kick back and go with the flow doing and saying what I feel 

- I have a much better time myself! Just a lil' something that isn't as pointed out as 'getting lots of women.' I mean, I like going out with lots of girls too, but I guess I'm just an old fashioned guy who only wants to go out with lots to find that one really AWESOME chick - so these techniques let me just enjoy a girl I'm with a lot more because I don't have to act like I need her, I'm with her by choice, not restriction! So anyways, my question is where exactly can you find a larger base of chicks to "try out." Like I said, I'm kinda old fashioned and not a big bar/club scene guy, so most of the places I've met girls lately have been everyday spots (one at Wal-mart, one at the bookstore...) but there just aren't as many easy opportunites to meet ladies in these type places as at a flagrantly singles scene. Sure occasionally you get a find, but there has to be an untapped resource out there for us mellow guys. So you gotta let me know...is there? Thanks again. - JLC from Florida 

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You know, I personally believe that MOST guys actually want to find "a really awesome chick" eventually. But the fact is that you're going to have to date a lot of women to find that one REALLY AMAZING one. And I think that learning my techniques and using them with the women you're dating PREPARES you for that one special woman, once you find her. So WHERE IS THE SECRET "AMAZING CHICK" PLAYGROUND? Where can a "mellow" guy go to find the "untapped resource"? I have a few ideas for you...

1) The internet
2) Social gatherings
3) Unexpected "regular" places

THE INTERNET

The internet is AMAZING for "mellow" guys.

Just think of it. You can place a personal ad, watch how women respond to it, then tweak it up and watch how the changes improve your response... and do it again and again. It takes a little bit of work, but I can't think of a better return on a few hours' investment. By the way, check out my Advanced Dating Techniques program for more tips on meeting women online. I do a whole segment on the topic, and I also interview one of my good friends who originally taught ME how to meet women online. I met my last girlfriend online... and she was a stunning 5'10" high-fashion model. My Advanced Series goes into all the details of how to do it. The internet is just getting better and better for meeting women... try it. 

SOCIAL GATHERINGS

It's not hard to make friends. And if you make friends with the RIGHT people, you will be invited to all kinds of interesting social gatherings. Now, certain social groups tend to attract more cute women than others. I DON'T recommend the Star Trek convention, the Comic Book convention, or the Chess convention as starting points here - lol. Get into art. Or try yoga. Or take an acting class. Meet people. Invite the people you meet to other events that they would be interested in. Become a networker. Be the SOURCE for great information on a topic that beautiful women are also interested in. Again, this takes a little investment, but the rewards are often AMAZING. I can't express how well this works... so try it.

UNEXPECTED "REGULAR" PLACES 

OK, check this out: There is a big "health food" market that's pretty close to my place. I went there about two weekends ago. I'd say that there was a total of about 20 people that I saw during my visit. AT LEAST 5 of them were HOT women. I probably saw more beautiful women in that one store in 10 minutes than I saw in the next 2 days. There are quite a few "unexpected regular places" like this one that are hot women MAGNETS. How do you find them? YOU HAVE TO GO LOOK. Go to your local mall at three different times over the next week. Go in for 30 minutes each time and just WALK AROUND. Try Noon on a Monday, then try Saturday at 4 PM, then try another weekday in the evening. You'll notice that ONE of those times is a LOT better than the others. Then try other places, and pay attention. There's a busy shopping area near where I live right now. It's REALLY busy on Friday and Saturday evenings. During the weekdays at around noon it's about one FIFTH as busy as it is on a Friday or Saturday night. But guess what? Weekday afternoons, even though it's not as busy, it's JAM PACKED with beautiful women. They're everywhere. But on Friday and Saturday nights there are hardly ANY great looking women, even though it's FAR busier and there are FAR more people around. Go figure. 

My point: YOU need to go find those places near you that are the best... and you need to find the best TIMES as well. This will pay off BIG TIME. So do it. 


***QUESTION***

Hey David,

Just wanted to let you and any of the other fellas out there - that your material definitely works. Initially, I just read the newsletters and started seeing more and more success. Including a girl within the same breath calling me incredibly chauvinistic and then hot about 5 seconds later. All cause I made a joke about cooking and cleaning. She even went on to say how my attitude only works on 99.9% of girls, but I'm missing out on the other .1%. To which I replied, "Are those .1% even hot?" On top of that, I recently messed up my knee playing basketball, and recently went out on crutches. Within the night, I ended up bumping into some chick, blaming it on her, and then pointing at my crutches and shrugging while waving her over from across the bar. She was eating it up! And despite having a boyfriend, has still given me her e-mail and number. Now I just gotta figure out when to call her. I see the same thing over and over again with my guy friends. The ones that act like wussies, suddenly have their girls 
telling them they just don't feel "it" for them. I've even had discussions with my girl friends and they even admit that they like it if the guy they're talking to has "options" and they're not the only girl around. Anyway, I'm also writing cause I have a question on how to handle girls, especially very hot ones that know they're way above average. Recently, a girl accused me of being "bad for their ego" and "unable to handle you" cause I don't sit there and tell her hot she is all the time. One of my girl friends claims you can only be difficult for so long, otherwise they'll find a guy who does give them that attention. But, I'm tending to think that you gotta stick with what got them into you in the first place. Any thoughts on this? Thanks man, and fellas get the book, it's worth the 10 times what you save with girls buying drinks for you!
AA in NYC

>>>MY COMMENTS:

lol... yea, women CLAIM a lot of things. I love it when I'm telling a woman about some of the things I teach, and she says "That would never work on me" etc. LOL! (That's short for DAMN FUNNY.) Look, stop getting advice from women on what will and won't work. Just DO what works. If you want to get advice from women, get FASHION advice. Women love to give it, and it's usually RIGHT ON. But when it comes to ATTRACTION, listen to WHAT WORKS. The LAST thing that a "very hot girl that's way above average" wants is a WUSS that chases her around and gives her all of his attention. If you doubt me, try it. Your thought of "stick with what worked in the first place" is right on. Do that. 

The point that I'm trying to make is that this education will not only teach you techniques for meeting women, it will also give you a new POWER that you never had before. I can honestly say to you that if this program were available five or so years ago when I started learning this stuff, I would have gladly traded ANYTHING I owned for it. But it wasn't, so I had to take YEARS figuring all of this stuff out for myself. This program is priceless, and it's worth at least ten times what I sell it for. As you probably know, you can try it and see for yourself with ZERO RISK. In other words, order it, go through it, and test it all out... and only pay if you LOVE it... and only if it gets you more dates with women.

I'm that confident that it will take your success with women to a whole new level.


Free Dating Tips Newsletter And Download eBook • 


____________________________________________________ 

David DeAngelo is the author of "Double Your Dating - What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women", and has taught thousands of men how to be more successful with women and dating.
_________________________________________________________________

Copyright 2004 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. "David DeAngelo" and "Double Your Dating" are trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.




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