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So I decided to try the "Angry Whopper" from Burger King.  After watching the commercials I was thoroughly convinced that this was a burger on par with Hardee's jalapeno burger.  well after plunking down my cash for an angry whopper I ate it...

 You know what was angry about it?  Me.

There was no anger, no retribution for the abused onion, although I think they should sell the onion petals the adorn his burger with separately.  The burger was average and almost bland.  I wasn't happy and would never recommend this burger for anyone.  The advertising got me to buy one burger, but thats about it.

What does this have to do with cigars?  Keeps your pants on I'm getting to it.

I have seen many ads over the years about cigars being strong, being the strongest, being the cats ass (meaning best).  They haven't been strong, they weren't the strongest.  In fact, some of them even tasted like ass (I've never tasted cat ass, but I'm sure some even tasted like feline ass)

My advice and the point?

DONT BELIVE WHAT THE MANUFACTURERS TRY TO FUNNEL INTO YOUR GULLET!

Find out what you would like my talking to smokers you trust, don't trust the idiot kid behind the counter who would rather unwrap a fine cigar to use the wrapper to smoke oregano and catnip that his dumbass stoner  friend gave him as primo humboldt county weed.  If you cant find someone you trust, take up your own torch and lead into the darkness searching for knowledge of the taste you like.  Don't believe some dipshit manufacturer that doesn't even taste his own cigars, just smoked a sample and said thats good while the factory swaps out the good tobacco and gives him shit that he couldnt pawn off on some other sucker.

And because the owner of the cigar brand tells us its the best shit in the world doesnt mean it is, it just makes us like the dumb clerk who bought fake weed to pretend to get stoned.


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Comments (5)Add Comment
Kevin Godbee
Darn
written by Kevin Godbee, February 09, 2009
Now I need to re-think my idea for coming out with a new brand of the strongest cigars in the world named "Cat Butts", and I guess I shouldn't offer you the "water front" property I have for sale in Florida.

Just kidding.

Good post and totally true.
Frank Flores
...
written by Frank Flores, February 09, 2009
You need a new handle Zack. How about The Angry Kilt?
Mark Sprouse
Amen
written by Mark Sprouse, February 13, 2009
Well written, always good to be reminded "Buyer Beware". Besides stronger doesn't always mean better. I can make coffee that will hold the spoon up, but does that make it the "Kittie's Rear"? Why do so many people think that stronger cigars are the bomb? Cause they been told so and the smoking community reinforces it. You like stronger cigars, you must be more of a "man". Most of the time, give me a smooth cigar with lots of complexity - mild, medium or strong.
0
Angry Whopper? Mine wasn't even disgruntled....
written by JimboP, February 16, 2009
I got an angry whopper for Valentine's Day. What a disappointment! The post is right on.
0
Right On The Money
written by Vicdamone, February 19, 2009
I have been saying that sh*#t to myself for the past six months as I have been trying all different cigars. Rocky patel renassiance, Alec Bradley Tempus, Macanudos, and some other high name sh%*t only to find that its tastes just like you mentioned, like ass....... I have however found some really nice smokes like the Padron Delicias, la flor dominicana DL and the Requiza by pete johnson. However, the next time some dipshit recommends something or I read an article online or in a freakin magazine about how great a smoke is I will ask myself, "Is this moron in the manufactor's pocket or is he really truly and independent source who has the same taste as me"?? Just because he likes cat shit doesn't mean that I will too..... smilies/angry.gif

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