Alright, after me and the harpie...uh...Mrs... get over the shock of his size, I get down to brass tacks. Over the course of a couple of days, I proceed to wrestle with this thing on my grinder / buffer. Kind of a rough go, since the rough parts wouldn't really catch the wax well and there was a smooth part of it near the bowl that I wanted to hit with the wax. And let me tell you, even with a bowl THAT FREAKIN HUGE, it's still entirely possible to have the grinder rip that sucker outta your hands and bounce it into some nasty things, (for which I STILL humbley and profusely apologise). Ya gotta watch yourself when buffing around the rim, (of the pipe, you perverts), 'cuz THAT'S where it'll happen most often.
So I get to this part, and we agreed it was what he wanted in the first place so he gets it back, and I get to crawl into a corner and blow spit-bubbles, mumbling to myself about planetoids and nursing my sanity back to .... well... whatever state I was in before all of this.
I took the liberty of cleaning it up a bit for ya, Brandon. Hope you're happy with the results!
Cheers!