the Secret Formula to Marital (or Relationship) Bliss

[CrazyFool]

Thanks to Steve Saka from CIgar Magazine for this little ahh Doozie

Mr. Saka came up with a brilliant plan for the many of us out there with no self controll on our 'hobby' (can we even call it that anymore?)

the formula is as follows: ((ACP + SCP/4)/YM + 15% = AGFW

ACP- accountable cigar purchases- the purchases your wife or g/f knows about....

SCP- secret cigar purchases. if your me this is the majority Cash only, trash the match books and bag on the way home type deals....

YM- years married
AGFW- annual gifts for wife

SO first you total out the entire ACP and a quater of the SCP... admitting a quater of the whole story will be enough to keep her from busting out your CI or Holts catalog and going through your humidor, price matching everything. think of the 1/4 as a decoy or good faith showing to keep her eyes from investigating.

So now take your sub total of those 2 added up and divide it by the years youve been married (or sharing a checkbook- you get it!). For the newly weds this will work out great, but be warned, the longer your together the worse it will get! Once divided, add 15 % to the total. Why? Because your a good guy, and you want to spoil her, ride in on stallions, dress like a knight and finally not be able to belaive its Butter

mmk, so for example lets say your married for 3 years and you spend 2,500.00 a year on cigars.

Step 1 (1,800.00 ACP + (700.00 SCP / 4))= 1,975.00
Step 2 (1,975.00 / 3) = 658.33
Step 3 $658.33 + 15%= 757.08 AGFW


So to keep your lovley wife at bay (and your testicles far from blue) its will cost you 757.08 dollars if you spent 2500.00 in three years of marrage. Yikes!!! Personally i think ill just buy her the car and call it even for 4 years

hope this was informative or humorus, and again thanks to Steve Saka and Cigar Magazine (winter 05 issue) for this clever formula/idea for saving our dumb asses!

[Blueface]

Funny stuff.
In my case, doesn't matter much.
For every secret cigar purchase of mine, she far exceeds my expensed amount with secret purchases of her own.

I could never catch up to that "I have had this for a while, you just never pay any attention when I show you things" bullcrap.

[Dogwatch Dale]

Originally Posted by Blueface

Funny stuff.
In my case, doesn't matter much.
For every secret cigar purchase of mine, she far exceeds my expensed amount with secret purchases of her own.

I could never catch up to that "I have had this for a while, you just never pay any attention when I show you things" bullcrap.

[steve12553]

Originally Posted by Blueface

Funny stuff.
In my case, doesn't matter much.
For every secret cigar purchase of mine, she far exceeds my expensed amount with secret purchases of her own.

I could never catch up to that "I have had this for a while, you just never pay any attention when I show you things" bullcrap.

Always remember " You don't know the rules. If you think you understand the rules, they can be changed without notice, without rhyme or reason. Women control half of the money and all of the ......." Light up a cigar, have a drink and relax. Ignorance is bliss.

[RPB67]

In my case.

I dont care what my wife says. I pay the bills. The kids and her get all their extra stuff like gymnastics lessons,cheerleading. Wife gets to shop and have a nice car and house.

I work hard and dont care what she says. If I want it I am getting it and that is it.

[CrazyFool]

Originally Posted by Blueface

Funny stuff.
In my case, doesn't matter much.
For every secret cigar purchase of mine, she far exceeds my expensed amount with secret purchases of her own.

see and id be right there with you if it wern't for the Secret motorcylce purchases and secret guitar purchases that has me equalling her (sadly) at this point... will no not at this point since cigars push me over the line

[JLamberti]

You know what? If she loves you, she'll put up with it. Assuming that, on balance, you're a decent guy, she should appreciate you and not give you crap about your vices. As long as what you're doing isn't harming anyone, it shouldn't matter.

If you want to give her gifts, give her gifts because you love her, not because you think you need to make up for something.

[psygardelic]

haha, I remember reading that article. very funny, very cool. Thanks for sharing that with us, Good thinkin!

[Da Klugs]

Originally Posted by RPB67

In my case.



I work hard and dont care what she says. If I want it I am getting it and that is it.

We assume you are talking about purchaces vs wifely services.

[KraZieMaN55]

Mr. Saka must have ran out of things to write about.

It got to be awful to have to use a formula to keep your wifey happy.

[MikeZ]

Originally Posted by RPB67

In my case.

I dont care what my wife says. I pay the bills. The kids and her get all their extra stuff like gymnastics lessons,cheerleading. Wife gets to shop and have a nice car and house.

I work hard and dont care what she says. If I want it I am getting it and that is it.

You talk pretty tough when she's not looking over your shoulder at what you're typin'.

[CrazyFool]

Originally Posted by MikeZ

You talk pretty tough when she's not looking over your shoulder at what you're typin'.

hahaha at least he has the spine to say it when shes not around. i cant even do that... its like... shes..... always watching

[germantown rob]

Originally Posted by JLamberti

You know what? If she loves you, she'll put up with it. Assuming that, on balance, you're a decent guy, she should appreciate you and not give you crap about your vices. As long as what you're doing isn't harming anyone, it shouldn't matter.

If you want to give her gifts, give her gifts because you love her, not because you think you need to make up for something.

I personally don't belive gifts or money have a damn thing to do with love. No offense but where in a relationship should money be a matter of love,arguments maybe, but not love. I like this formula, and it's pretty darn funny. If somebody, let's call him my friend, spends $1000 in a month on sticks and accesories and his wife knows about all of it I think some shit will come down, not because she doesn't love me...I mean him...but because she might feel 500 for him and 500 for me...ballance. Now if she doesn't work ok but if she is a resident doctor aand works her ass off as well then I think the forula works...OK I'm steping off my
Just busting balls

[punch]

Originally Posted by Da Klugs

We assume you are talking about purchaces vs wifely services.

You can also purchase wifely services. Sometimes this is cheaper in the long run.

[CrazyFool]

Originally Posted by punch

You can also purchase wifely services. Sometimes this is cheaper in the long run.

i approached her with my credit card and asked where to swipe it... it didnt go so well