Cigar Thoughts for the Day

[5by50]

[2chairs]

Augusta National can do what they want. But, in the spirit of inclusion, my all-male cigar club here in Georgia has voted unanimously to invite Angelina Jolie to be a member.

All I want for Christmas is a herfin' buddy... preferably 5 feet 10 inches tall, 130 pounds, red hair, green eyes, and, of course, 38D boobies.

If you don't require alcohol and a fine cigar to help you relax in the evening, then you're probably the family pet.

They say that the best things in life are free, but that doesn't explain the thousands of dollars charged on my credit card to "certain" retailers in Europe.

Now I know I'm a Habanos addict. Last night, I dreamed that Demi Moore dumped me, my Ferrari was stolen and a box of Trinis was seized by USCS. I was more upset about the cigars.

Life Lesson No. 563: If you decide to recycle an unwanted cigar gifted to you, be sure not to gift it to the person who gave it to you in the first place.

To all guys: Just say no to all those guilt trip diamond commercials and give her a box of aged Davidoffs.

[robmcd]

let me be the first to say, in a little less than a year,
you've gone from marginally competent to:

[img src="http://www.stat.pitt.edu/stoffer/junk/incompetence.jpg"]

:P

[Pablo]

Man, these are worth starting one of those "quote of the day" features on top25cigar! Laughed my "getting larger by the day" ass off.

[Drewsky]

Good stuff Flip Flop! Love it! LMAO

[2chairs]

robmcd...

I got a message that you called while I was out. :7 ;-)


Attachments:

[2chairs]

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Dec-11-02 AT 02:39 PM (CDT)]Paul and Drewsky:

Glad to see you two (unlike the one who first commented on my thread) recognize talent. :7

[edisonbird]

Sounds to me like some of those sayings are really wishes, careful.






An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source
of water. It gets so bad that his camel dies of thirst. He's crawling
through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a
sudden he sees a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards
ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and
discovers that he has a Manischevitz wine bottle. It appears that there
may be a drop or two left
in the bottle, so he unscrews the top and out pops a genie. But this is no
ordinary genie. This genie appears to be a Hassidic rabbi, complete with
black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, etc.
"Well, kid," says the genie. "You know how it works. You have three
wishes."
"I'm not going to trust you," says the Arab. "I'm not going to trust a
Jewish genie!"
"What do you have to lose? It looks like you're a goner anyway!"
The Arab thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is
right.
"OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful food and drink."
***POOF***
The Arab finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen.
And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
"OK, kid, what's your second wish."
"My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."
***POOF***
The Arab finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold
coins and precious gems.
"OK, kid, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!" After
thinking for a few minutes, the Arab says: "I wish I were white and
surrounded by beautiful women."
***POOF***
The Arab is turned into a Tampax.
The moral of the story is: Be careful of what you wish for. There may be a
string attached.
}> }>

[rkt]

FF,

There is one other way to relax in the evenings with out
alcohol or cigars... that is if you have your first wish.}> :7

If I had a cigar club I would invite Sandra Bullock, Demi,
Tiffany Theissen as my first new members.

[2chairs]

Kieht...
That first wish isn't relaxation... it's ECSTASY!!!! :7

[robmcd]

flipflop- you know i love you [img src="http://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung/liebe/liebe064.gif"]

[Lamar]

FlipFlop...great stuff. I'm waiting for my quote a day calendar.

[Lamar]

Too funny!!!