I wanna drop some cigars on someone ((contest))

[brcrane14]

Ooohh man, these are some really great stories. I've been laughing all morning! I have 2 embarrassing stories that (keeping in the spirt of other stories thus far happened to friends of mine and not me) and both deal with bathroom issues.

One happened when I was a freshmen in college, and the details are very vague, but my roomate had brought this smokin hot girl home from the bar and in the middle of sex, passed out. If that wasnt bad enough...he pissed the bed with the girl next to him...he woke up, obviously embarrased and didnt know what to do. He ended up rolling the girl over into his spot, woke her up and said "you pissed in my bed and on me, get the f**k outta here". The girl teared up and left. Was it a dickhead move? Completely, I would never do it, but it has kept me laughing for years!!

But onto the story that happened most recently...

It was my friends' (lets call him Brad) bachelor party. We took him out to the city and hopped around from bar, to strip club, to bar, to strip club. By the end of the night, we estimated that Brad had about 10 shots, and a handfull of beers, and that didnt include the other drinks that random people were buying him. Needless to say, he was struggling to even stand up.

On the way home, we stopped at 7-11 to stock up on drunk munchies of all kinds. Brad stayed in the limo...not by choice...but because he was passed out. We all hopped back in with our plastic bags chock full of chips, sodas, taquitos, ice cream...all the usual crap that everyone stuffs their face wwith when they are 3 sheets to the wind, and began our journey back to our friends place to crash for the night. We were half way theyre, when Brad woke up and announced that he was gonna get sick. Luckily we pulled over before he had the chance to "decorate" the limo. We sat there for awhile to let him finish up, and he stuck his head in and said "guys I dont feel so good, lets just crash at my moms place". We all felt a bit wierd about that since we were pretty smashed, but since we were only a minute or two away from her place (and she had originally offered up her place for us to stay) we headed there.

We all got settled in the basement, and 1 by one we started falling asleep. Just as I was about to fall asleep, Brad woke uyp again and said he was hungry and asked if I had anything left from 7-11. I handed him my half eaten bag of doritios and told him that I had put some hot pockets in the mini fridge and he couyld have them too. He got up, and I went to sleep. At 9am, my phone went off and I noticed that I was the only one in the basement, as everyone else had left...but where was Brad? I walked up stairs on my way to leave, and his mom was standing in the laundry room, looking completely drained and deshevled, scrubbing away on sheets. I walked in to say goodbye and thank her for her hospitality, and as I got closer, I noticed she was crying. She turned around and asked me "Who gave Brad Ice Cream?" I told her that I had given him doritos, but I would never offer up Ice Cream cause I am well aware of his issue...

What I neglected to tell all of you early on, is that Brad is Lactose Intolerant. According to what his mom had gathered was that Brad walked upstairs (presumably to get my hot pockets) and came across someones pint of cookies n' cream ice cream, and polished off the whole thing...leaving the container on the floor and the fridge wide open. He then stumbled upstairs (most likely in a drunken blackout), stopped at the linen closet to piss on all the towels. He then stumbled into his MOMS ROOM, and passed out on NEXT TO HER on her bed. in the middle of the night (or should I say early morn) she awoke to find that Brad had full evacuation all over her sheets...himself...and her...

When she told me this, I apologized perfusly and ran out the door...I had to because I was about to laugh the hardest I ever have. I laughed the enitre way home..so hard that I almost crapped my pants as well.

Brad called me later that day to thank me for the fun night. I was sure he had no recollection of what happened the night before, so I just asked how he was feelin, his response "Well I shit all over my mom, how the f**k do you think I feel"

[shemp]

Originally Posted by justinwb

Not mine but goes along the lines of yours and is the funniest story I have read, maybe someone will get a laugh out of it:



The Ryan's Steakhouse Story

uncontrolled laughter!!!!!!!!!

[sikk50]

Let's just say mine happened just now sitting in class reading the Ryans Steak House story on my blackberry...

Thanks guys...

[Drazzil]

Let me first say that judging this contest was extremely hard... I had a lot of trouble choosing the winner from this bunch of funny scat stories. The Ryans steakhouse story was very funny, but unfortunately it happened to someone else... As a matter of fact, I think the guy who the steak house incident happened to used to post on a now defunct board.

I would like to thank each and every participant in this contest, I truly had a laugh reading through these truly funny stories.

That having been said, I recieved the box that I will be sending the cigars out on. And I promised this thing would end then.... So, without further delay....


Winnar is BRCrane. I'll be PMing you shortly

[Drazzil]

Originally Posted by Drazzil

Let me first say that judging this contest was extremely hard... I had a lot of trouble choosing the winner from this bunch of funny scat stories. The Ryans steakhouse story was very funny, but unfortunately it happened to someone else... As a matter of fact, I think the guy who the steak house incident happened to used to post on a now defunct board.

I would like to thank each and every participant in this contest, I truly had a laugh reading through these truly funny stories.

That having been said, I recieved the box that I will be sending the cigars out on. And I promised this thing would end then.... So, without further delay....


Winnar is BRCrane. I'll be PMing you shortly

BRCrane has yet to respond. If he doesent respond in another week, I'll pick another winner.

[slider9499]

I was putting on my pants and was in way too much of a hurry and I caught myself (private parts) in my zipper - MAJOR pain. Three days later I notice that a small piece of string has wrapped itself around some "extra skin" in that area. Needless to say, the pain wa pretty bad for a week or so

Well, about 2 days ago the blood flow to that skin finally dried up and that extra piece of skin that I mentioned literally became detached from me

Sp what was one attached piece is now to unattached pices. Think Shrek or a snail head

Absolutely true story.

[brcrane14]

WOOO!!!! Thanks Drazzil!!

Sorry that it took a few days to get back to you, I was out of town this past weekend! Im super excited, to say the least!

[jbock]

Dang it!

I knew I should have busted out with the airport breastfeeding fiasco. My wife will never live that one down....

Next time.

[brcrane14]

What better day to receive an award than a Saturday! Thanks again, Draz!! Here is what awaited me inside the envelope:



Im dying to know what the huuuuuge unbanded torpedo is!

[Drazzil]

Im dying to know what the huuuuuge unbanded torpedo is!

Write an honest review on it and Ill tell you