Cigar and Relationship Advice

[Mr. Ed]

Hi, I've recently started seeing someone new. However, they do not yet know of my involvement with cigars and investment into the hobby. She seems to be rather anti-smoking from the discussions we've had and I'm torn between telling the truth and trying to hide it.

My hesitation stems from the fact that in my last relationship one of the top 5 reasons (at least I think) it went kaput was because of my smoking and overall investment into this dangerous, slippery hobby of ours.

Any advice from those of you that have been down this road would be appreciated.

Thanks, Ed.

[Darrell]

If you cannot be yourself, then **** it. Move on.

[uncballzer]

I would go ahead and save yourself trouble later on and let her know. If you're not going to give it up no matter what, and she won't budge, best to save yourself some heartbreak now.

[Mr. Ed]

Originally Posted by Darrell

If you cannot be yourself, then **** it. Move on.

I have really been contemplating this as a choice and would love to standd by my convictions, but I think it is a little too early. I would like to see where this goes, if anywhere.

[hogz]

Originally Posted by Darrell

If you cannot be yourself, then **** it. Move on.

[clampdown]

Well, Im currently seperated so im probably the last person to get advice from. But you should be honest with her. If its a relationship that you want built on trust then that is what you need to do. If she comes out and says, its either the cigars or me, then you might want to look at the relationship. I just could never be with someone who came to me and put those types of questions at my feet. "You do this or else." Well, Ill see what else there is then!

[groogs]

Originally Posted by Darrell

If you cannot be yourself, then **** it. Move on.

Great advise. If it is going to last, your spouse has to accept everything about you, if not move on and find someone who will.

[ucubed]

If they can't appreciate a hobby then move on...I mean it's not like she has to be around you when you do...all you have to do is brush your teeth and shower and what not and it'll be fine with the smell...as for spending habits, I guess as long as it's not all for yourself. If they can't understand your hobby, your habit, your passion....then why bother? Find a compromise then

[Darrell]

Originally Posted by Mr. Ed

I have really been contemplating this as a choice and would love to standd by my convictions, but I think it is a little too early. I would like to see where this goes, if anywhere.

So, basically you want to pursue a relationship without informing her that you're a cigar enthusiast, something you think that she might have a problem with? Isn't that a bid dishonest? Again, if you cannot be yourself - what's the point?

[ja3480]

Originally Posted by Darrell

If you cannot be yourself, then **** it. Move on.

you can't say anything but that !
Good luck !!

[ChasDen]

If you love steak and she was a vegetarian would you hide it from her?

If you are catholic and she was an atheist would you hide it from her?

The truth will set you free Or her, either way you are still you and happy.

Chas

[Mr. Ed]

Originally Posted by Darrell

So, basically you want to pursue a relationship without informing her that you're a cigar enthusiast, something you think that she might have a problem with? Isn't that a bid dishonest? Again, if you cannot be yourself - what's the point?

You are 100% correct. I guess I should rephrase my question. What is the best way to break the news?

[SmokinAFuente]

Have to agree with the others.

Better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for someone your not.

[Darrell]

Originally Posted by Mr. Ed

You are 100% correct. I guess I should rephrase my question. What is the best way to break the news?

Tell her you enjoy cigars. Tell her your reasons.

You're not breaking the news that you're a violent alcoholic or sex offender, it does not require that much thought or worry. Just go with it bro.

[Biglizard1]

Originally Posted by clampdown

Well, Im currently seperated so im probably the last person to get advice from. But you should be honest with her. If its a relationship that you want built on trust then that is what you need to do. If she comes out and says, its either the cigars or me, then you might want to look at the relationship. I just could never be with someone who came to me and put those types of questions at my feet. "You do this or else." Well, Ill see what else there is then!

this dude has sage advice!
I recently seperated, divorced, remarried and all this above is pretty much right on! It can be hard but the truth is the best method!
Good post while I was typing again! I think your on the right track with the advice you are getting.