somebody shoved MY cigars up THEIR nose & gave them back to me!

[epyon26]

somebody needs a beatdown

[Cigary]

Originally Posted by Todd W

Since I began reading this thread a week ago I have shoved 3 cigars up my nose and ate fish 'n chips twice.

Oh shit, you mean its not shoving fish and chips up my nose and eating cigars? I hate getting things backwards,,,Damn You Dyslexia!!!!!!

[Cigary]

Originally Posted by mrreindeer

You know, in the seven pages of posts, I've really had a lot of time to think about this long and hard.

I think in honor of George Costanza (and Seinfeld) and my fellow BOTL/SOTL, I WILL go down there and confront the guy face to face instead of calling the owner on the phone.

So you know, I'm totally over this.

BUT for your entertainment, I thought I'd wait like 3 more weeks so it's more strange to him (in his mind) that this has been eating away at me for a month and has just then gotten me to come in and confront him about it. Of course, I'd post the results of the confrontation here.

I'll call ahead to see if the guy's there and then come on in at lunchtime so it's not like I'm there for pints in the evening or anything, I'm there specifically to talk to him.

So this is how the conversation will go down in my mind.

"Hey buddy, do you remember a month ago, we were talking about cigars and you told me you were in the biz once and I showed you the two cigars I happened to be carrying in my coat to see what you thought and you took them out and separately inserted them in your nose? Deep. And then you told me that they were cheap cigars?"

him: "Oh, I'm British, I would never do something so crude."

me: "But you did and I'm here to confront you about it."

him: "sod off"

me: "well, sir, i'm here to ask you to reimburse me for these cigars. I should also ask you to reimburse me for my case that you put the boogered cigars back into but i am a reasonable man"

him: "i told you to sod off."

me: "I'm going to really miss having fish 'n chips....come to think of it....could i have an order to go?"

[mrreindeer leaves the building after PAYING FOR HIS ORDER]

So, my brothers & sisters, SHOULD I DO IT???

Yes, you should do it just for the comic value of the whole thing. Don't be surprised if he yells at you in return,,"No Fish and Chips for You!" ( fish and chips nazi )

Mr Reindeer, you crack me up and we need to let you write your own weekly column on here as long as I put my depends on early enough.

[Legend]

I think it would blow his mind if you went back. Brought it up. And asked him to do it again because you ist haven't been able to replicate the flavor with your snot.

If you can do it with a straight face you'll completly blow his mind. He will be talking about it for weeks like we have been.

[volfan]

I read this when first posted and did not post. I am non-confrontational by nature. Having said that, there is no way I could let this go without saying something to him. I would try to be tactful about it when I asked him about it but I would have to call him on it. Then I would show him the videos on Cigar Afficianado's site about how to light a cigar, and cut a cigar and ask him where the F'in video was that showed how to stuff a cigar up my nose to discern it's worth. When he could not find it, I would ask him how he finds out about the quality of his fish. That should shut him up.

Of course, then again I might just think "what would Cleese do"?

scottie

[Todd W]

1.) Cooo-stanza!
2.) "Believe it or not, George isn't at home!"

[tampabaycigarradio]

How ignorant, why didn't he just kick you in the nuts.............would have been less painful.

[capdaddy222]

Well as you originally stated, You are going to frequent this establishment again. Also you stated that you didnt want the cigars anymore. Since the case is also ruined, I would add all these factors up and get REVENGE!

If I were you I would indeed go back to this establishment. But this time I would be prepared for another "evaluation" of your smokes of choice by this limey jerk. Now Hear me out... I have found that the most potent form of revenge involves feces of some sort. I dont know if you have a dog, but Im sure you can find the "leftovers" from one of your neighbors pets.

Take a really cheap smoke, remove the ring, and roll the head of the smoke in "doggie conditioner". Take the cigars back into the restaurant, Have your meal and then go back to the back bar and wait for your "buddy" to come out. Flag him down and ask for his opinion...

Depending on his reaction offer him the cigars

[mrreindeer]

Originally Posted by Cigary

Oh shit, you mean its not shoving fish and chips up my nose and eating cigars? I hate getting things backwards,,,Damn You Dyslexia!!!!!!

Originally Posted by Cigary

Yes, you should do it just for the comic value of the whole thing. Don't be surprised if he yells at you in return,,"No Fish and Chips for You!" ( fish and chips nazi )

Mr Reindeer, you crack me up and we need to let you write your own weekly column on here as long as I put my depends on early enough.

No Fish for you!!! Too funny.... and aw shucks....thanks!

Originally Posted by Legend

I think it would blow his mind if you went back. Brought it up. And asked him to do it again because you just haven't been able to replicate the flavor with your snot.

If you can do it with a straight face you'll completly blow his mind. He will be talking about it for weeks like we have been.

I tried for a few days to keep a straight face (to practice); I didn't once peek in on this thread, but I just kept cracking up thinking about it.

Note to self: MUST NOT LAUGH.

Originally Posted by volfan

Then I would show him the videos on Cigar Afficianado's site about how to light a cigar, and cut a cigar and ask him where the F'in video was that showed how to stuff a cigar up my nose to discern it's worth. When he could not find it, I would ask him how he finds out about the quality of his fish. That should shut him up.

Perhaps if the scenario I posted earlier doesn't go well when I return to the establishment, I will invite the guy over to my house to watch videos and eat popcorn.

Originally Posted by Todd W

1.) Cooo-stanza!
2.) "Believe it or not, George isn't at home!"

3.) Makes a modest attempt at the "trifecta", consisting of eating a pastrami sandwich, watching television, and having sex all at the same time. He fails and exclaims he "flew too close to the sun on the wings of pastrami."

Perhaps when I return to the restaurant, I shall attempt my own DOUBLE trifecta, however, timing will have to be impeccable because I'll have already confronted the manager and ordered another plate of fish 'n chips and be dealing with California smoking laws (trifecta #1?).

Once the fish 'n chips arrives (hopefully not covered in excrement or boogers), I'll remove my clothing down to my boxers, begin enjoying the delicate, moist, flakey snow-white fish enrobed in a cobweb-like cocoon of fried batter, I'll take out a cigar, light it, smoke it until I'm thrown out, all while drinking a 40 of Miller High Life (the champagne of beers) - trifecta #2.

Originally Posted by tampabaycigarradio

How ignorant, why didn't he just kick you in the nuts.............would have been less painful.

I forgot to mention that part....my bad. I'm still sore.

Originally Posted by capdaddy222

Well as you originally stated, You are going to frequent this establishment again. Also you stated that you didnt want the cigars anymore. Since the case is also ruined, I would add all these factors up and get REVENGE!

If I were you I would indeed go back to this establishment. But this time I would be prepared for another "evaluation" of your smokes of choice by this limey jerk. Now Hear me out... I have found that the most potent form of revenge involves feces of some sort. I dont know if you have a dog, but Im sure you can find the "leftovers" from one of your neighbors pets.

Take a really cheap smoke, remove the ring, and roll the head of the smoke in "doggie conditioner". Take the cigars back into the restaurant, Have your meal and then go back to the back bar and wait for your "buddy" to come out. Flag him down and ask for his opinion...

Depending on his reaction offer him the cigars

Capdaddy, you frighten me. Remind me never to cross you.

[petewho]

1. deband a Cremosa
2. Tabasco the hell out of both ends of it
3. sprinkle ground red pepper flake over both well-Tabasco'd ends
4. take the stick in to this dude

"Hey, I'd never seen that cool technique you have for checking a cigar. Now this here is one of my favorites, so I'd be curious to get your take on it"

5. hand the dirtbag the stick
6. quickly get your camera turned on

I say do it. Pull the trigger.

[madurolover]

Daily laugh bump.

[scottw]

Originally Posted by Cigary

Yes, you should do it just for the comic value of the whole thing. Don't be surprised if he yells at you in return,,"No Fish and Chips for You!" ( fish and chips nazi )

Mr Reindeer, you crack me up and we need to let you write your own weekly column on here as long as I put my depends on early enough.

He is a funny SOB that's for sure. Ask him to stick the fish and chips up his nose next time

[scottw]

Originally Posted by petewho

1. deband a Cremosa
2. Tabasco the hell out of both ends of it
3. sprinkle ground red pepper flake over both well-Tabasco'd ends
4. take the stick in to this dude

"Hey, I'd never seen that cool technique you have for checking a cigar. Now this here is one of my favorites, so I'd be curious to get your take on it"

5. hand the dirtbag the stick
6. quickly get your camera turned on

I say do it. Pull the trigger.

S**t yeah do it!!! Come on dude, you have to!!

[Legend]

Here is the kicker. Me reindeer friend here just smoked it and have a review.

He smoked it. .... He did ... No joke. It was smoke. Done. Boogergar up in smoke.

[mrreindeer]

And I already miss it so!