Best (worst) Cigar Experiences

[Flyerman]

i'm putting together a paper for the sole purpose of overturning a smoking ban here in Texas. i need a lot of stories as examples of how bias the modern society is against smokers, cigarettes, cigars, or pipes. something along the lines of how you had a tobacco product of any kind, and how someone intruded on your wonderful smoking experience, rudely preferably, but poilte will be alright. case in point: i remember once i was in a bar, in Pittsburgh, with at least 6 or 7 people smoking the small white cancer sticks, so i thought it would be ok to pull out a Fuente. hadn't even lit it, just had it in my hand while i downed a beer. this snotty faced heap of parrot droppings excuse for a woman comes up behind me and starts coughing, comes up right beside me, and starts complaining about the smell of my cigar. i told her, very politely i might add, that she must be mistaken. she gets very beligerant with me, saying how rude i was, that i must not have been raised correctly by not holding the comfort of others in high regard, so on and so on. i told her that she was mistaken, once again, and to prove it to her that my stick was not lit, i showed her the end, blew on it, no smoke, and held the foot against the palm of my hand, all to prove to her that she was an obnoxious pleasure police member, trampling on my right to a good time. needless to say, she quickly stormed off in a huff, seeing the error of her ways. this story is one of a dozen i have lived through, and it's the type of story i need for my paper that i will be presenting at the next town hall meeting. i thank you, my wife thanks you, my mother and father thank you, my whole family thanks you.

[bostnbill]

It was a beautiful summer day, the kind of day where the warmth of the sun just wants to make l you kick back and enjoy the pleasure of a fine cigar.

I was sitting on the grass on the Boston Common, the first public park in America, taking in the beauty of the day, watching the sights unfold before me. Lots of prety women passing by, people on there way tending to whatever the day held in store for them, children in the playgound and splashing in the Frog Pond.

I was sitting alone, by myself, up on an incline, away from everyone else, not a person anywhere near me, smoking a Fuente Don Carlos Presidente, hardly a cheap cigar, when this obnoxious overweight fright of a woman makes it a point to walk up the hill and aproaches me, telling me just how horrible my cigar smelled and had the nerve to ask me to put it out.

I told her that surely she must be mistaken. She could not have possibly caught the aroma of this fantastic cigar, and cautioned her that she was in fact the one who was ruining my enjoyment of the cigar and my smoking experience. i suggested to her that in not uncertain terms my cigar smelled better than her patchouli oil deodorant and I could think of many things that could be deemed more offensive, not the least of which was a yeast infection. I waved goodbye as she stormed down the hill, muttering obsenities.

I wonder what became of her and if she ever found her broomstick?

Bill

[Mister Moo]

Originally Posted by bostnbill

It was a beautiful summer day, the kind of day where the warmth of the sun just wants to make l you kick back and enjoy the pleasure of a fine cigar.

I was sitting on the grass on the Boston Common, the first public park in America, taking in the beauty of the day, watching the sights unfold before me. Lots of prety women passing by, people on there way tending to whatever the day held in store for them, children in the playgound and splashing in the Frog Pond.

I was sitting alone, by myself, up on an incline, away from everyone else, not a person anywhere near me, smoking a Fuente Don Carlos Presidente, hardly a cheap cigar, when this obnoxious overweight fright of a woman makes it a point to walk up the hill and aproaches me, telling me just how horrible my cigar smelled and had the nerve to ask me to put it out.

I told her that surely she must be mistaken. She could not have possibly caught the aroma of this fantastic cigar, and cautioned her that she was in fact the one who was ruining my enjoyment of the cigar and my smoking experience. i suggested to her that in not uncertain terms my cigar smelled better than her patchouli oil deodorant and I could think of many things that could be deemed more offensive, not the least of which was a yeast infection. I waved goodbye as she stormed down the hill, muttering obsenities.

I wonder what became of her and if she ever found her broomstick?

Bill

Damn. Send that to Readers Digest. I honor you, Bill.

[Throb]

I was sitting on a "balcony bar"...it was an outdoor bar with a wonderful breeze and several dozen people around me. I was sipping a martini and smoking a Perdomo La Tradicion. I was with several friends and my wife. We were enjoying some time together and a cocktail before a movie in the same plaza (Baywalk Plaza in St. Petersburg)

I was approached by a female who stated her friend, who is pregnant, was getting sick from the smell of my cigar. She asked me to extinguish it for her.

Now, my first thought was, "What the hell is she doing pregnant and in a bar", but I let it go. I always try to be a polite smoker and move upwind or away from anyone that does not like my smoke, so I began to knock the ash off.

I kept my eye on the young lass as she walked away (OK she had a nice butt...so what) and noticed her group. I saw her pregnant friend and a few other women when I noticed most of them, including the one who just talked to me, SMOKING CIGARETTES

Luckily I hadn't put my solder to rest. A few quick puffs and I was back up and running. I walked over to the bar near where they were sitting and ordered another round. I then told her "I'm sorry the house fell on your sister, but maybe you should see the Wizard about it". I then skipped off singing We are off to see the wizard...with my cigar in my mouth.

I'm pretty sure I went to the later movie and had a few more cocktails

[CrazyFool]

here we go- I was in a CASINO in the bahamas enjoying a cigar when a lady comes walking through the casino holding a tissue up to her nose while evil eying myself and some other smokers. Now besides looking like Michael Jackson with the respertory sheild on, she looked like an ass for looking down on 'us'.

Lady, your in a Casino. we cant smoke in resturants, most bars, in our own home (a lot of us anyway) and almost anywhere else. Your in a casino, you know, the only place in america where a lady with 2 boxes of Montes and cartons of cigeretes walks around selling them. Casinos are also home to Poker and 3-4 other games praticly invented for stogies.

SO to her i say, if you get lung cancer from the second hand smoke of a few cigars and fags, during a monsterous 30 second walk through a casino floor, then damn it ill pay for your funeral. Know what you signed up for ma'am, its a casino. A adult playground not a kiddie park. Firther more she wasnt the only one, a few times i chased away the people next to me on the slot machines and not one of them left without some sort of eyeroll and douche look in my direction. It was annoying and some of them were even fag smokers. I had to hold my wife off them she became pretty lioness-ish in my defense. It was something. even in the most cigar friendly atmosphere, a cuban friendly one at that (where hundreds of non-cigar smokers break down and have one to feel naughty for smoking something forbidden) theres still 'these people'.

America suffers from too many people wanting to tell others what to do. the less laws the better. its funny, you grow just knowing, assuming that the goverment and people like this are just a level higher. the rule makers. But one beatiful day you wake up and realize- they are just men (and women) like you. not smarter not better but equal. so let us all watch out for it is our brothers, not superiors that are making these rules and we need to watch them carefully.

[Flyerman]

very nice, crazy fool!! thanks from all of us BOTL for fighting the good fight, not losing ground. i think i'll use your story as my last one, to drive the point home. if you wouldn't mind? keep it up, guys! i need LOTS more stories if i'm gonna get past the first 5 layers of concrete heads on the city council here.

[Alpedhuez55]

Originally Posted by Throb

I kept my eye on the young lass as she walked away (OK she had a nice butt...so what) and noticed her group. I saw her pregnant friend and a few other women when I noticed most of them, including the one who just talked to me, SMOKING CIGARETTES

Reminds me of this woman:

[thebiglebowski]

Originally Posted by bostnbill

It was a beautiful summer day, the kind of day where the warmth of the sun just wants to make l you kick back and enjoy the pleasure of a fine cigar.

I was sitting on the grass on the Boston Common, the first public park in America, taking in the beauty of the day, watching the sights unfold before me. Lots of prety women passing by, people on there way tending to whatever the day held in store for them, children in the playgound and splashing in the Frog Pond.

I was sitting alone, by myself, up on an incline, away from everyone else, not a person anywhere near me, smoking a Fuente Don Carlos Presidente, hardly a cheap cigar, when this obnoxious overweight fright of a woman makes it a point to walk up the hill and aproaches me, telling me just how horrible my cigar smelled and had the nerve to ask me to put it out.

I told her that surely she must be mistaken. She could not have possibly caught the aroma of this fantastic cigar, and cautioned her that she was in fact the one who was ruining my enjoyment of the cigar and my smoking experience. i suggested to her that in not uncertain terms my cigar smelled better than her patchouli oil deodorant and I could think of many things that could be deemed more offensive, not the least of which was a yeast infection. I waved goodbye as she stormed down the hill, muttering obsenities.

I wonder what became of her and if she ever found her broomstick?

Bill

oh, lord - that patchouli stuff. cripes, if ANYTHING should be outlawed...

[CrazyFool]

Originally Posted by Flyerman

very nice, crazy fool!! thanks from all of us BOTL for fighting the good fight, not losing ground. i think i'll use your story as my last one, to drive the point home. if you wouldn't mind? keep it up, guys! i need LOTS more stories if i'm gonna get past the first 5 layers of concrete heads on the city council here.

id be honored thanks flyerman!

[mike32312]

One of my pleasures is riding around town with the tops off smoking one of my favorite sticks. When ever I come to a stop light it never fells. Someone always rolls up their window and give me a dirty look. That's when I take another draw on the pleasure stick and blow it out so slowly enjoying the taste thinking hey " I you don't like me....BITE ME!"

Attachment 5285 Click to enlarge.

[oddball]

I'm sure this has been mentioned before, but I see many parallels between cigar smokers and firearms owners. There seems to be undeserved reputation with both groups. Here in CA, especially in the Bay Area, people will run away when you discuss guns. And you're considered an asshole for smoking a cigar. Since I fall into both of the above categories, you just learn to be more thick-skinned about people's cry-baby attitudes.

[thebiglebowski]

Originally Posted by oddball

I'm sure this has been mentioned before, but I see many parallels between cigar smokers and firearms owners. There seems to be undeserved reputation with both groups. Here in CA, especially in the Bay Area, people will run away when you discuss guns. And you're considered an asshole for smoking a cigar. Since I fall into both of the above categories, you just learn to be more thick-skinned about people's cry-baby attitudes.

and the setting yourself on fire part, oddball - is that cathartic?

[mosesbotbol]

I use to be a Defense Contractor (consultant) and worked at GE Jet Engine Proplusion and there were a couple of cigar smokers that had "taste like Fuente" JR's. I smoked two of them and they were so horrible that I couldn't even tell them that they were OK. I thought it would lower my integrity to give such a cigar an affirmation. I hooked them up with a couple Upmann No. 2's and they thought they were just "pretty good". So much for taste, some habits are hard to break.

2nd on that list is Veguero I smoked a couple of weeks ago. Such a foul bitter taste that I just couldn't get out of my mouth for 2 days. Like chewing fresh cut lawn and telling someone it's Red Man...

[danisirish]

On my high school graduation, shortly after the ceremony had let out I decided to go stand apart from the crowd and light up the cigar my dad had given me. While I might not remember the type of cigar I smoked, I do remember this nasty woman walked over to me (I was about 120ft from the crowd of people) and asked me in a rather unpleasant voice "why am I trying to ruin her day by lighting up that foul cigar?". Normally I'm a pretty calm guy, but i'll attribute my response to my youth. I told her in an equally unpleasant voice that "I'm just trying to enjoy my graduation, I hadn't set out with the intention of ruining your day, but since you came over to visit I'd be happy to try" before taking a puff and exhaling in her direction. I felt somewhat bad afterwards but solaced myself by remembering how unpleasent rude people are.

[oddball]

Originally Posted by thebiglebowski

and the setting yourself on fire part, oddball - is that cathartic?

Ahh, you should see me when I try to light a cigar

Actually, my avatar was the funniest one out of the bunch available...

But I'll tell ya, txmatt's signature is ten times funnier!