Confrontation with my neighbor

[bobbyg29-cl]

So I arrive home yesterday evening from Thanksgiving dinner at my mother in-law's to find a letter stuck in the door from the people that live in the apartment above ours. Apparently smoking cigars on my patio has been offending them even though they have never said anything to me about it when in the 6+ months they have lived here. They compared what I am doing to them eating a big burrito then coming down and farting all over my house. They then went on to suggest that I smoke inside, switch to pipes, or only smoke when I see that their car is gone. Here is my letter in response. I am sure I being a lot nicer than most people would be. Thus is the world we live in now.

Dear XX,

First let me say that I found the comments in your letter to be very rude and offensive. Especially since you have been living here for several months, walked past me several times while I was smoking on my patio, and never made one single comment to me about it. How was I supposed to know that my cigar smoke was offending you when you never said anything!

First, the comment about farting all over my house is completely out of line and I find it to be very rude! I am engaging in a legal activity that I do for my enjoyment and relaxation, not deliberately trying to offend you by passing gas. The two are in no way comparable.

Second, your suggestions about how I should change my personal habits (smoking inside and smoking a pipe) are completely unreasonable. Would you let someone you don’t know tell you how to behave? Living above us, you often make lots of noise walking across the floor. Should I suggest that you start working out and dieting to lose some weight? That would be the equivalent of what you are doing to me. I smoke cigars because I like cigars and I smoke outside because I also enjoy the fresh air and sunshine. And the suggestion that I need to look for your car to decide whether I can do what I want is ridiculous—why didn’t you just ask me to submit a request in writing to you two weeks in advance before I want to smoke!

With all that being said I am sensitive to your concerns—even though I really have no reason to be since I am engaging in a behavior that is not against any rule in this building and your offensive letter has really angered me. Here is what I will do. I will refrain from smoking between the hours of 9pm-9am so that you will be able to sleep with your window open as you request. So if you don’t want smoke coming into your window I would suggest you have it closed by 9am. Other than that I will smoke whenever I want to since it is my right to do so.

Next time when you have a problem with one of your neighbors I would recommend just telling them instead of being so rude. You did not even give me a chance to be a good neighbor before you started attacking me personally.

Sincerely,

Rob

[BigBuddha76]

I would change the times to 1a-9a, dont restrict yourself too much

[happy1]

You let them off easy bro!!

[chrisie]

The nerve of those people, demanding you to abide by their terms. Who in the heck do they think they are? You were very professional in your letter and if it were my husband he would have let them have it with me behind him 100%.

Chris

[bobbyg29-cl]

I should say that I never smoke between 9-9 anyways...

[BigBuddha76]

leave a big flaming bag of poo on their doorstep, Billy Madison Style

[cdowden3691]

I'll be interested to see how they respond Rob. People like that seem to be unreasonable and complain just to fricken complain. It's crazy they are your neighbor and choose to leave you a note rather than talk to you about it.

Your presense must be quite intimidating! lol...

[Architeuthis]

Here in Texas, it would have been handled a bit differently, with slightly more permanent results... <G>

[Jughead]

Your kinder then I would have been!

[smokem-cl]

First off, Good for you!

Second may I say you handled it very well. I live in a condo complex, surrounded by mostly older people. When I moved here I asked all my neighbors if they fond my cigar smoking on my deck offensive to them. All agreed it reminded them of days gone by with their dads and grandads. If one or more of them objected to it, I would have fond another place to smoke. Why? well, I feel as cigar smokers, we are also ambassadors. If we piss people off over our hobby/passion, we make it harder for the rest. So I always try to find middle ground with those that would others wise think of me as the typical "cigar smoker".

In your letter, I find you neither rude, nor confrontational. I feel you handled it like a gentleman should. Now the ball is in their court, how they respond is up to them. But if they continue to be rude, and unreasonable...

[SIZE=3]KICK THEIR A$$!!! [/SIZE]

[baboruger]

Wow, my neighbors tell me that they like the smell. Ok maybe they are just being nice, but you were really nice about it. I don't know if I could have been that diplomatic.

[kevink868]

You showed admirable restraint while still being clear about your position. I guess one more thing for me to be thankful for is that my most recent neighbors used to tell me they liked the occasional smell of a cigar!

[thegraduate-cl]

interesting. good response, at this point i would probably have handled it the same way...now if it were about a year ago while i was still in college it would have been handled a bit differently, probably by a herf in my apartment with everyone on this site attending and kegs....and maybe a bag of poo as buddha had suggested.

[Biyobe-cl]

Well written and to the point. Great work Rob!! Keep us posted on what becomes of this situation.

[Ceedee]

Rob,
Very well stated. You handled that situation with a calm, but firm hand. Mr. and Mrs. Noseybody have no legs to stand on, so to speak and you pointed that out with some simple common sense and a level of courtesy that they did not first extend to you. You taking the high road now and setting up YOUR own terms, puts the ball back in their court. Good for you sir!

CD