Puff Cigar Discussion Forums

karmaz00 · 04-05-2008, 11:05 PM

omg. thats funny..

serenomike · 04-05-2008, 11:11 PM

On the way home from aruba I wanted to bring home but one cuban cigar. So stupid me, I take the band off the cohiba and switch it with some band I forgot what it was. I get to customs the guy takes one whiff of the cigar(obviously a cigar guy) says to me "Hey your the 13th guy today who tried to do that, you must be lucky." =[ My ego got a beating lol

BigBuddha76 · 04-05-2008, 11:44 PM

I've had the hot ash fall off and roll up my kilt while I was sitting in my recliner.

I no longer grow hair on certain fingers from relighting nubbed cigars

I've smoked so far down I've sucked the cherry through and burned my tongue

while digging through my sporran to give my buddy a lighter he say's to me, "why does everything I ask for have to come out of your nutsack" (referring to my sporran)

when my son was about one, I picked him up while smoking. he headbutted the stick and got the inch long ash stuck in his eye. he had a red mark for a week

I burned the headliner of my car while relighting while driving

Brazilla-cl · 04-06-2008, 12:07 AM

OK, Paul McCar tells this story much better but I will attempt to get the main gist across.

This is back when Paul managed Arlington Cigar in Texas. There was this strange guy (I say strange because there are more stories about this guy as good as this one) and he was on the email list for the store. He was eagerly awaiting the delivery of Opus X Forbidden X Lanceros. These guys come in a glass tube, black or red ribbon around the bottom and a chunk of Styrofoam in the bottom of the tube to rest the cigar on during transit.
So this guy runs in the store asking if any of the Opus Xs are left. Paul directs him to the display and the customer eagerly grabs one. To Paul's horror, this sequence of events happens. The guy pops open the tube, lights the cigar, almost has an orgasm engulfed in the smoke, (remember the Styrofoam now) and sticks the lit cigar back in the tube! Paul is like....”WHAT ARE YOU DOING???!!!” The reply, “why I'm saving the cigar for later. It's OK....I'm an engineer and I do this all the time.”

So when you see Paul at an event, ask him to tell the story. You'll be in tears.

chinomalo · 04-07-2008, 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baldheadracing

I'm driving down to the US-Canada border ... at the border:

US Customs officer: What is the purpose of your visit?

Me: I'm going over to pick up cigars and bring some of them back.

US Customs officer (puzzled): So you're not bringing all of them back?

Me: No, I'm going to send some out as bombs.

US Customs officer (suddenly alert): What?

Me: Um, um ...

... followed by 10 minutes of explanations, etc., followed by a trunk inspection.

US Customs officer (after inspecting my car's trunk for Cuban cigars): Why do you have those ziplock bags in the trunk?

Me: Um, those are to package the bombs ...

US Customs officer (smiling and shaking head): On your way ...

You are outta control.. You are very lucky to not have the K-9 up your rear.. I am suprised (and not) that you were given entry..

"package the bombs", yeah, come on over, you'll fit right in the U.S..:errrr:

chinomalo · 04-07-2008, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBuddha76

I've had the hot ash fall off and roll up my kilt while I was sitting in my recliner.

I no longer grow hair on certain fingers from relighting nubbed cigars

I thought you were going to say, you no longer have hair down there... LOL

I've smoked so far down I've sucked the cherry through and burned my tongue

Now this is a first.. You are one bad dude..

while digging through my sporran to give my buddy a lighter he say's to me, "why does everything I ask for have to come out of your nutsack" (referring to my sporran)

I fell outta my chair on this one..

when my son was about one, I picked him up while smoking. he headbutted the stick and got the inch long ash stuck in his eye. he had a red mark for a week

HOLY sh$t!!!

I burned the headliner of my car while relighting while driving

You gotta get a fire extinguisher.. I can see it now, "man in a quilt attempts to put car fire out, news at 11"..

chinomalo · 04-07-2008, 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brazilla

OK, Paul McCar tells this story much better but I will attempt to get the main gist across.

This is back when Paul managed Arlington Cigar in Texas. There was this strange guy (I say strange because there are more stories about this guy as good as this one) and he was on the email list for the store. He was eagerly awaiting the delivery of Opus X Forbidden X Lanceros. These guys come in a glass tube, black or red ribbon around the bottom and a chunk of Styrofoam in the bottom of the tube to rest the cigar on during transit.
So this guy runs in the store asking if any of the Opus Xs are left. Paul directs him to the display and the customer eagerly grabs one. To Paul's horror, this sequence of events happens. The guy pops open the tube, lights the cigar, almost has an orgasm engulfed in the smoke, (remember the Styrofoam now) and sticks the lit cigar back in the tube! Paul is like....”WHAT ARE YOU DOING???!!!” The reply, “why I'm saving the cigar for later. It's OK....I'm an engineer and I do this all the time.”

So when you see Paul at an event, ask him to tell the story. You'll be in tears.

Yikes! Strange is not the word.. Engineer is.. Just kidding all you engineers out there.. I have a lot of friends who are engineer who can top that..

chinomalo · 04-07-2008, 08:31 AM

So, a couple of friends are kicking it in a buddy's backyard after a BBQ.. We all settle in for a smoke.. Everyone is drinking, only 4 of us are smoking.. One of the people out with us is new to the group and female (my buddy's new thang)..

Up in smoke is about right.. It looked like an inferno.. I could tell the girl wasn't feeling comfortable just by the look on her face.. I thought, well, you ain't gonna see me putting out this Ashton anytime soon girl..

About two seconds later she makes the excuse that she's cold and retreats inside. Trust me, it wasn't cold.. My buddy follows in pursuit..

Well, the talking starts up.. "She's a priss". "She won't make it here.." etc..

One of my friends is smiling saying nothing..

I ask him, "whats up?"

He tells me quietly that while sitting next to her, he was letting out methane and thats the reason she got up..

My ass was on the floor...

stlcards · 04-07-2008, 08:43 AM

That's just wrong.

sofaman · 04-07-2008, 08:56 AM

I had just got a new Xikar Beachwood Cutter I took it out of its box to cut a Oliva Serie V and when I cut the cap both screws poped out of the cutter and fell down the heat register!!! Talk about bad luck

Doogie · 04-07-2008, 09:08 AM

During one of my cigar club meetings, I can't find my cell phone. Everybody is looking for the phone and its nowhere to be found. One of my buddies calls my phone, we hear it ring, still don't no where it is. Now mind you my phone is on ring and vibrate. then I look Jimmyrays face, he has this strange look. (pure extacy) then reaches down between his legs and goes hear it is sarg. Now mind you everyone else is looking at my face. (Total disgust) my phone has been touching Jimmys balls. I reply no ****ing way is that phone going near my mouth. you've never seen 10 guys laugh so hard.

chubzerous · 04-07-2008, 09:35 AM

My friend and I were smoking out on his patio and his brother-in-law shows up.Great guy, outgoing funny as hell. He asks if we got an extra cigar so Rodney fishes one out cuts it and gives it to Robert. Robert draws the smoke and admires the stick just like any other cigar smoker. We carried on our conversation for about 15 minutes and I notice Robert turning green. I asked him if the cigar was too strong and he replied that it tasted real weird. I just blew it off and figured he was just a new smoker and the nicotine was getting to him. Another 15 minutes go by and he is in distress, pale , pasty and about to throw up. He exclaims that the cigar is poisoned and went inside. I walked over and realized he had been using a citronella candle in a metal bucket for an ash tray and had been laying his cigar in it when he was not smoking. Yuck!

The EVP · 04-07-2008, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chinomalo

You had to be drinking, right? Or medication.. Tell me its true..

No....no alcohol or medication. Just had a stupid moment....

chinomalo · 04-07-2008, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doogie466

During one of my cigar club meetings, I can't find my cell phone. Everybody is looking for the phone and its nowhere to be found. One of my buddies calls my phone, we hear it ring, still don't no where it is. Now mind you my phone is on ring and vibrate. then I look Jimmyrays face, he has this strange look. (pure extacy) then reaches down between his legs and goes hear it is sarg. Now mind you everyone else is looking at my face. (Total disgust) my phone has been touching Jimmys balls. I reply no ****ing way is that phone going near my mouth. you've never seen 10 guys laugh so hard.

Haha!

How many times did it ring? LOL!!