Doc's 8-Step Recovery Program

[Dr. Stogie Fresh]

There are many of you gorillas who think you have a problem. You buy too many cigars. You hoard them, you hide the cigars and the credit card statements from your wife and you constantly troll the web in search of new and better "deals." Well, I originally wrote this for Da Klugs because after reading about his stash of smokes, he's on the serious downside of the slippery slope. But I thought I would share this with the rest of the brethren and sistren just in case.

Doc Stogie Fresh's 8-Step Recovery Program:

1. Admit you have a problem.

2. Believe that there is a higher power greater than yourself who can lead you back to sanity. [Well, of course there is. Doh!!!!! Who do you think has been leading you to BUY all this stuff? (That's your story... stick to it)]

3. Admit to this higher power, and to the rest of the country and world, including third world countries, and countries that have never seen a cigar but have seen plenty of bombs, and your priest (if you are catholic) and every person in your life who smokes, who has ever smoked or who has ever breathed second-hand smoke, the exact nature of your wrongs.

4. Make a list of all persons you have WRONGED, and be willing to MAKE AMENDS TO THEM ALL. [I don't know about the rest of the gorillas, but I'm feeling pretty wronged by the likes of Klugs, Moki, icehog, illuminatus and many others. No, I take that back, after seeing their wealth of stogies I'm feeling like I just got slapped like a RED-HEADED STEP-CHILD!]

5. Make direct amends to such people wherever possible. [Now here's were it gets good... The Doc says that you need to ask every gorilla who you've wronged, thought about wronging, or potentially wronged, for their addie so you can start some regular and sustained bombing. I'm talking scud missles here.]

6. Cut up the credit cards, the WIFE’S credit cards, that is. [Nuff said.]

7. Start a cigar business so you can have more write-offs. At least hang up a shingle.

8. Have a good laugh at the above 7 steps because it is physiologically impossible to generate ulcers when one is laughing. Plus laughing is good for the soul, for the spirit and for your health.

For those of you who worry about your spending habits, it's great to keep your ups and downs in perspective, but this hobby of ours is precious and at times necessary for our sanity. I mean who really cares that, if you stopped buying cigars tomorrow and continued smoking two cigars a day, you would still have enough cigars to last you well into the 22nd century. That's NOT a problem.

Respectfully submitted,

Doc

[stogie_kanobie_one]

Problem? What problem?

[doctorcue]

That guy in the mirror has a problem, but not me!!!

[caskwith]

Its the sort of problem i wish i had!!!!

Id give my right arm to be as "sick" as Da Klugs!!

[LT Rich]

My only problem is that i dont have all the cigars in the world!

LT

[Dr. Stogie Fresh]

Originally Posted by LT Rich

My only problem is that i dont have all the cigars in the world!

LT

But it's fun trying isn't it?

Doc

[n2advnture]

LOL! Too funny Dave!

~Mark