Dealing with people who complain if a gar is smoked

[zeavran1]

Originally Posted by Sirhuffsalot

I did that once, but they went so quickly,

I should have done this over this past weekend when I was with "my friends." This thread would have been useful when I was in this situation:
Why do people feel it necessary to give me crap?

[thebayratt]

Originally Posted by fatboy05

Ask them how much money they give to the SCHIP program. That's what I do.

+1
The card should say:
"Do you have childen?" on the front
"We are helping YOU afford to pay for your children's healthcare; because YOU are a sorry P.O.S. who can't.............. Have a Nice day!" on the back

[Cyber]

This line came from a movie I watched some years ago and I have used it twice.

Person walks up and says "Dont you know that smoking kills?"

Blow smoke in there face and then tap you foot like you are waiting on something to happen. When they are done coughing reply "Why are you still alive?" or "Obviously not fast enough" or "Darn, I was hoping you were right"

[Grammaton]

Pretend you don't speak any English and offer them a cigar. Or, pretend you don't speak any English and give them some spare change.

[NeverBend]

Hi UnCBallzer and FiddleGrin,

It was on the corner of 55th and 6th, 1/2 block south of De La Concha Tobacconists in NYC.

The woman was @30 years old, brunette (if that matters) and made some strange noise as she walked right up to me and took the Jacopo by the bowl and tried to wrest it from my mouth.

Being a true smoker (I would have done the same for a good cigar), I grabbed the pipe first - then her wrist and twisted hard making her howl but fortunately it happened right in front of a street vendor who told the people there who hadn't seen what had happened (always a lot of people there) that she had attacked me.

There's a funny story about cigars in Italy of you'd like to hear it.

Regards,

Pete

[PerpetualNoob]

Originally Posted by NeverBend

There's a funny story about cigars in Italy of you'd like to hear it.

Regards,

Pete

Of course we do! Don't be a tease, ya rotten bastard. Give it up.

[gjcab09]

Originally Posted by NeverBend

There's a funny story about cigars in Italy of you'd like to hear it.

I'm game!

[Aaron871]

Originally Posted by PerpetualNoob

Of course we do! Don't be a tease, ya rotten bastard. Give it up.

x2 out with it....

[NeverBend]

Hi Folks,

I don't want to be like the guy who came with a friend to the party and won't shut up.

Who called me a rotten bastard! We must know each other.

My brother and I used to travel to Europe to go to pipe factories and we always brought our own cigars (this was the 1980s). In Italy there was no choice other than DiNobili types so we had to ration our sticks carefully. Our travel cigar of choice was Te_Amo Toro Maduro because even if it dried out the wrapper didn't peel. To get them through customs we'd often roll them up in our clothes. No matter how many we brought we always seemed short by the end of the trip.

We had pet types of places to put our cigars when we had to go inside during a smoke and then pick them up afterwards. Through the years I've only missed getting back to one cigar, a Hoyo Governor, at the University of Buffalo in 2002. I'd tell you the exact location but someone might get to it before I get a chance to get back there!

Anyway...In Milan, we wandered outside, waiting to see DaVinci's Last Supper when waiting for the tiny rectory to open. When it did I placed my Toro in the grooves between the bricks of a window sill about 6 feet off the ground. My brother put his in the Y of a tree. I told him that it was too exposed but he laughed it off.

The Last Supper was truly awesome but of course we bee-lined it back to the cigars. Mine was sitting uneventfully on the sill where I'd left it but a bum (certifiable) had my brothers in his mitts, looking it over.

I speak a little Italian, my brother a lot more and he yelled at the bum put the cigar down - it's not yours as he rushed to save his beloved, only 1/4 burned stick. The bum held it in the air, then turned it into his mouth and slurped the length of the cigar - back and forth and then offered the spit shined cigar back to my brother.

I couldn't hear what he said above my own laughing. If he hadn't have run off I'd have givven him a match!

Regards,

Pete

[gjcab09]

HAHAHAIf it aint nailed down!...you know?

[Stench]

I had a woman sniff and say "Well, Excuse me!"

I asked her "Why, didja fart?"

[PerpetualNoob]

Originally Posted by NeverBend

Who called me a rotten bastard! We must know each other.

I meant that in the nicest possible way.

Great story, by the way.

[rajuabju]

neverbend... that story made me both laugh and cry! lol

[fiddlegrin]

Baahaahahaahaaaaaaaaaaaahaaahaaahaaahaahaaaahaahaa a!!!!

Thanks for the great belly laugh Pete!

.

[Brinson]

Mmmm, well, considering the anti-smoking laws surrounding me there's not much you could say. Smoking is banned in public places here unless they are specifically licenses, which requires them to have some kind of special ventilation. I don't know of any place that doesn't sell cigars that has this.