This week's herfin (Recent Smoke Rings...)

[Uniputt]

As usual, I hereby present for your amusement, the most recent edition of Smoke Rings....

Wednesday's usual herf was postponed until Thursday. So, Thursday I headed out to the local liquor store. I picked up yet another bottle of Wild Turkey 101, some imported German Hefe-Weisen (the usual: Franziskaner...yummy...) and a case of some Mexican beer called Tecate (actually not as bad as you might think....better than the usual domestic swill most of my friends drink).

My friend picked up some locally brewed beer called Rahr Red. Real good stuff....made right here in Fort Worth.
While we were there we picked up a few singles from the humidor. He got a AF Maduro of some sort....it was an $8 churchill. I got a couple AF Don Carlos torpedos, a Butera Royal Vintage Maduro for the wife (small, short size), 2 Torano Tribute torpedos, a RyJ anniversary maduro, and finally , the stick I smoked first...a Partagas Black; in a nice fat ring gauge.....

So back at the Casa del Uniputt, we started drinking some Shiner Bock I had left over....then moved on to the the Wild Turkey 101. Crazy Chicken definitely has a mighty kick....watch out for the talons!!! The Partagas Black was all that I expected. Not for the weak of heart. it's thick, black, strong and most definitely full bodied. I found myself mixing more air with each puff than I had ever before. It even made my wife choke and gag when she tried it.....!! She looked at me with her eyes squinting, holding her breath, and said " How can you smoke that!!" I love it. Priceless.

Meanwhile my buddy was struggling with his Fuente maduro. After clipping it at the foot, he was straining to get it lit. Plugged. Argh!!! After another cut, it was a bit better....but he still strained to get anything out of it. The third cut helped; which basically took the whole head off. But it was finally drawing decent. (Not good...just decent.....) After about 30 minutes of turing red, he gave up and put it down. I get the feeling he just wasn't enjoying it! He said it was giving him a headache trying to get some smoke out of it! My Paratgas was flawless, however!!!

The wife enjoyed her Butera, although not near as much as the regular Connecticut Shade type she prefers. Still a reall nice smooth smoke. No ash/draw/burn/or construction problems. Quality. That's all I can say.
I gave my friend a Fuente Don Carlos becasue I felt sorry for him having all the problems. I was hoping it made up for it!!!

We all proceeded to get bombed on the 101...chasing with with the RAHR RED beer. Wound up drinking until only midnight....but was sufficiently buzzed that further libations were not necessary. How refreshing that was...!! An early buzz!!!


Friday went to the local watering hole, and started off drinking the same stuff I had the previous night,101. Rocks glass and two cubes. Quality stuff. Not quite as tasty as the Irish whiskeys, but hey, it's 101 proof, so waht do you expect, right??
The wife stuck with the beer, not wanting to further aggravate the pounding head that was making her suffer. She smoked another of those CAO Eileen's Dreams I told you about a while back. They are a pretty decent smoke, for a flavored cigar. Everyone around us commented how delicious it smelled. They all said that my stogie smelled like, well, ass. It was a CAO Italia Piazza. A nice big ass, no doubt. Oh well, feck 'em, I say.
I kept drinking, and wouldn't you know, they're rude comments stopped bothering me. Alcohol. The anti-depressant!! I like how it enables one to ignore what would otherwise be an idiot to argue with!!

The Italia wa delicious despite what everyone thought it smelled like (ass).
That word turned out to be the word of the night. The girl I told you all about (in a past edition of Smoke Rings a while back) that was so drunk she couldn't wal;, showed up. Drunk again. Really drunk. And she had some young punk with her that was 15 years younger than her. (Insert word of the night here).

He thought he was "it". What a complete punk. I kept blowing my smoke toward him. I figured if he was going to act like an ass, then at least he should smell like one, too!! Over and over he would brag about this and that, and stood around with his skinny little chest all puffed out like a chicken.....it was pathetic. I later learned he was from Florida. I didn't think Floridians were like that, (at least none of the ones I met.....) Glad the bartender kept 'em coming.....it allowed me to forget this little punk was even standing there....
My wife did have a good time laughing with the other girl, though. So I ignored him, and focused on the wife and other things at hand .....like....:

Moving on.....getting drunker.....the next smoke was a CUBAN!!!!
My Secret Santa was so very generous, I must thank him yet again. Thank You!!
I didn't bring a premium ISOM with me...I'll reserve the finer ones for better occasions. But I thought that bringing along a machine made Flor De Canos would be appropriate.
I lit it up, and it had a nice toasty flavor to it. Very smooth and earthy. hard for me to describe, really. It didn't taste like anything I've ever smoked before. Nothing in the flavore department really stood out. But I still like it.

However, the wrapper started peeling apart right behind the ash. I was being very careful with it, too. The draw was extremely hard. I couldn't get hardly any smoke out of it; so I cut it again. Same thing....but I pressed on. I did not want to waste it!! I sucked and sucked, and it continued to come apart. Even down by the band, pieces of the wrapper were coming off, exposing the binder underneath. At about the halfway mark, the whole end of it just "exploded" right behind the ash. I gave up at this point. I couldn't even keep it lit, and I couldn't get anything out of it even if I could. I was a bit surprised....I would have thought that there was some measure of consistency with a machine-made cigar. Hmmmm. Oh well......bottome line though, was that the flavor was not anything like the ERDM Cuban I smoke on Sunday night. That was a thing of beauty. Delicious down to the finger-burning nub. I was sad when I had to put it out....it was that good. One of the best smokes I've ever had, hands down. What really shocked me was how
the flavor changed as it smoked it. It actually got better and better the smaller it got!! But I digress.....

Drank heavily, depression was setting in since my Cuban had gone south; so to speak. So I fired up a Romeo y Juliet Anniversary Maduro. QUALITY!!!

We wound up at another bar around midnight to eat, and have a pitcher of Blue Moon. (a domestic hefe-weizen that tries real hard to be imported...it falls short.) Some late night food, the rest of the pitcher, then off to home for ****-style sex with the wife. A nice cap to the evening's entertainment.
No, I will not give a detailed account of what transpired at home....you'll have to wait for the DVD!!!

Later...until next time....K-bye.

[Jeff]

I'm waiting by my mailbox for the DVD.

I've had some of those beers you mentioned. Good stuff. I like Shiner and some other beers you guys get down in Texas. Unfortunately, I can't get them in PA.

Jeff

[LastClick]

Uniputt, you should write a book entitles"Memwhories of a Herfer” and publish all your writings with the DVD inside, I might even buy a copy ....

BTW, how many sticks did you get in your secret santa stash?

[shelvingunit]

Ahhh....I miss the good old ****-style sex days!

Another great read, thanks for the reviews.

[TheSmokingHiker]

An enjoyable read...

[Uniputt]

Thanks for the compliments....!!!

The DVD won't be out for quite some time, it's stuck in the editing department. And there's some copyright issues to sort out as well.....!!!

We're gonna hold out a while and keep everyone in suspense. The idea being that the longer a kettle boils, the hotter it gets. Then we'll release it as a special edition boxed set........with extra features, and a really cool interview with yours truly smoking a fat stogie, drink in hand, wrapped in a satin smoking jacket ala Hugh Hefner style.

Just send some funds to my addie (available upon request) to reserve your copy today! Don't delay!!

But wait, there's more!!!

Order now and get the bonus DVD "101 ways to have fun with a cigar".
included with your order for FREE!! Yes, that's right, I said FREE!! So act now before it's too late!!

This offer is 100% guarateed!! If you don't agree is the best you've ever seen, simply return the double DVD boxed set for a full unconditional refund....but the bonus DVD is YOURS TO KEEP!!

How's that?

[Uniputt]

Originally Posted by LastClick

BTW, how many sticks did you get in your secret santa stash?

Oh, he was quite generous. Again, a tip of the hat goes to him.

I can't remember exactly how many. I think maybe I drink too much. I've heard that it can affect memory. I don't know for sure,though, because I can't remember!!!

I got about 22 or 23 in all total. But 5 or 6 of them were the small "Chico" size (kinda like a cigarette-size) so I can't really call them a full-sized smoke. They're great when you only have a small bit of time.

Like Wednesday. I fired up a Partagas and not only burned my fingers, but also burned my lips!!!
I was in the garage with the door up. My neighbor walked over and saw me hitting on what he thought was a "roach" (admittedly, it was really, and I mean, really small....and probably looked pretty suspicious!! ).
The look on his face was one of total disbelief and shock.....!! He looked right at me and said "What are you smokin' now....dope?" I showed him the band I just removed, explained how it was just too good to put down, and honestly, he looked relieved!! It was rather funny, though, if you knew him....and I guess you had to be there, too!!!

[Jeff]

Originally Posted by Uniputt

The DVD won't be out for quite some time, it's stuck in the editing department. And there's some copyright issues to sort out as well.....!!!

But wait, there's more!!!

Order now and get the bonus DVD "101 ways to have fun with a cigar".
included with your order for FREE!! Yes, that's right, I said FREE!! So act now before it's too late!!

Ooh, a bonus DVD! Can't pass up on this offer now. BTW What special features are there on the DVD? We all want to get our moneys worth.

Jeff

[Uniputt]

Just take a nice long draw off of your stogie, and hold your breath.
I'll get back to you with the details!!

[Redman]

Great read as always.

[D. Generate]

Man, that post had everything: alcohol, good friends, alcohol, good cigars, some random jackass, alcohol and sex.

Suddenly my week seems wasted.

[Uniputt]

Originally Posted by D. Generate

Man, that post had everything: alcohol, good friends, alcohol, good cigars, some random jackass, alcohol and sex.

Suddenly my week seems wasted.

7 days without sex/alcohol/cigars/friends/etc.......well, you know, it really does make one weak. Therefore, I make sure to go out of my way and ensure that each week meets it's minimum requirement, which, is (you guessed it) sex, alcohol,friends,cigars. I mean, if you can't do that each week, then what's the point of living.......?????