The Future...

[rkt]

The year 2035...

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America crops & livestock.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of
the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Iraq, Syria and Lebanon)

Afghanistan still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Alabama lowers age of consent for girls from eight to six.

Nursing home event... Bill Clinton denies allegations of affair with
candy striper.

Texas executes last remaining citizen.

Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

Baby conceived naturally...scientists stumped.

Authentic year 2000 CHAD sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles.

Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven inches.

Microsoft announces they have perfected their newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

Unionized Chinese workers now making 4,000,000,000 yen an hour;
American-owned businesses now returning to cheap labor in USA.

White minority in USA demands civil rights and wins $47 billion in reparations.

New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers and
baseball bats be registered by January 1st 2036.

[seagarsmoker]

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Sep-19-02 AT 02:54 PM (CDT)]Another one:
Record crop of fine cigar tobacco in Cuba. 1999 & 2000 boxes of habanos still selling at local retailers for 50 cents a stick. As soon as the shelves are cleared, the 2035 cigars will be sold.

[edisonbird]

ROTFLMAO}> }>

[2chairs]

Matt actually BUYS a cigar for the first time!

[robmcd]

very nice :-) and i'll add one-

flip and matt get their own show:
[img src="http://www.stat.pitt.edu/~stoffer/bnb.gif"]

[2chairs]

If that's our show, I guess this means Matt and I are filthy rich.

How come it isn't showing up in my bank account?

[robmcd]

you have to wait until 2035, when you'll be a cursed male:
too old to turn the women on
too old to have a fast car and drive it


[br]
[img src="http://www.stat.pitt.edu/~stoffer/poodle.jpg"][br]
Inna Gadda da Poodle

[2chairs]

So how are the sales going on your latest research project?


Attachments:

[robmcd]

my latest project is a biography of you... here's some graphics from the first chapter:
Attachments:

[2chairs]

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Sep-20-02 AT 013 PM (CDT)]Hope this gets to you before you leave for Springfield. Nothing like doing some research before you go into action.


(peterpan ought to love this one.)


Attachments:

[wouldestous]

dont know anything about the future except that time keeps on slippin slippin slippin into it.

[CMD]

What happened to Saudi Arabia????


[font color=blue] Dave
http://www.habanossa.com/image/logo_02.gif
Embargo? Seriously? :P

[ESP]

…Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking…

Saudi states’ votes tip the Knesset in favour of Likud party.

The tobacco police using Fartalyzer remote sensors are now successfully detecting consumption of any illegal substance including tobacco. Last year 2 M citizens were fined & imprisoned for smoking cigars in their basements. Another 4 M were sentenced to solitary confinement for smoking in the parks.

The latest study shows that bacon and lard are the key to a long healthy life. China completes annexation of Japan and Korea.

90% of Cuban cigars are now exported to China - the new mega economy. Castro’s final wish was published: to double the production by 2036 to 6 billion cigars in order to satisfy the Chinese tycoons.

:+ }>

[Brandon]