Lance Armstrong Busted

[Da Klugs]

PARIS, France (Reuters) --

Lance Armstrong's record setting seventh Tour de France victory, along with his entire Tour de France legacy, may be tarnished by what could turn out to be one of the greatest sports scandals of all time.

Armstrong is being quizzed by French police after three banned substances were found in his South France hotel room while on vacation after winning the 2005 Tour de France.

The three substances found were toothpaste, deodorant, and soap which have been banned by French authorities for over 75 years.

Armstrong's girlfriend, American rocker Sheryl Crowe, is quoted as saying "We use them every day in America, so we naturally thought they'd be ok throughout Europe."

Along with these three banned substances, French authorities also physically searched Armstrong and found several other interesting items that they had never seen before, including a backbone and a testicle.

(Courtesy of Dwavs of BOTL)
(I know it belongs in the Jokes forum but loses its effect there - move it later)

[carbonbased_al]

Originally Posted by Da Klugs

PARIS, France (Reuters) --

Lance Armstrong's record setting seventh Tour de France victory, along with his entire Tour de France legacy, may be tarnished by what could turn out to be one of the greatest sports scandals of all time.

Armstrong is being quizzed by French police after three banned substances were found in his South France hotel room while on vacation after winning the 2005 Tour de France.

The three substances found were toothpaste, deodorant, and soap which have been banned by French authorities for over 75 years.

Armstrong's girlfriend, American rocker Sheryl Crowe, is quoted as saying "We use them every day in America, so we naturally thought they'd be ok throughout Europe."

Along with these three banned substances, French authorities also physically searched Armstrong and found several other interesting items that they had never seen before, including a backbone and a testicle.

(Courtesy of Dwavs of BOTL)

Hilarious Dave!

[TheSmokingHiker]

Good one!!! Did you here that this joker is actually thinkin gabout coming out of retirement though?

[SeanGAR]

Now thats funny...

[Nooner]

Originally Posted by TheSmokingHiker

Good one!!! Did you here that this joker is actually thinkin gabout coming out of retirement though?

ya, to piss off the French! Sounds like a good motive to me!

[bruceolee]

Ya got me bro! Just keep that "French" stuff under control.

[cigar no baka]

God you have to love the French!!! An American, much worse, a TEXAN, dares to win their precious little bike ride, so they have to smear him any way they possibly can!!!

[Nooner]

Originally Posted by bruceolee

Ya got me bro! Just keep that "French" stuff under control.

no, honest, he said he may do it just to piss off the French!

http://sports.yahoo.com/sc/news?slug...=afp&type=lgns

WASHINGTON (AFP) - Lance Armstrong's possible comeback in quest of an eighth consecutive Tour de France triumph had US television sports pundits wondering what the American cycling legend still had to prove.

Armstrong said allegations of doping raised by the French sports daily L'Equipe over what they claim are EPO-positive urine samples from Armstrong's 1999 Tour triumph have prodded him into reconsidering his retirement plan.

"The recent smear campaign out of France has awoken my competitive side," Armstrong said in a statement released Tuesday. "I'm not willing to put a percentage on the chances but I will no longer rule it out."

Armstrong told his hometown newspaper, the Austin American-Statesman, that he wanted to win again because it would annoy the French.

"If irritating the French is his only goal, he might succeed," wrote Phil Hersh, a Chicago Tribune columnist. "The problem is Armstrong can prove nothing by competing again, whether he wears the winner's yellow jersey for an eighth straight time or not.

"And regaining his high profile as an athlete in a high-profile event only will keep alive a controversy his legions of adoring fans already have written off as yellow journalism."

ESPN sports television commentators found Armstrong's return a hot topic Tuesday, with Tony Kornheiser doubting that even another Tour de France victory by Armstrong will silence critics.

"If Lance Armstrong does come back, he will be tested 10 times a day," said Kornheiser. "This will happen again and again and even if he wins again it won't prove anything to his doubters, most of whom work at L'Equipe."

Kornheiser, also a Washington Post newspaper columnist, also questioned Armstrong's anger at the French people as opposed to the newspaper and his desire to return because of a newspaper story.

"He was steadfast. All of a sudden he's back because he's mad at L'Equipe? Come on," Kornheiser said, adding, "If he hates the French so much why did he suppoprt the French bid for the (2012) Olympics?"

Columnist Bill Plaschke of the Los Angeles Times, speaking on another show, backed Armstrong's move and asked, "Why not put it in the face of everybody who says he is not clean?"

"He has every right to defend his reputation," said columnist Jackie MacMullan of the Boston Globe. "The only way to prove to the French all this is taken care of is to go back there and win this race again."

Chicago Sun-Times sports columnist Jay Mariotti wondered "Why would he want to put himself back through Lance-mania? He has nothing left to prove. He has done all he can in cycling."

Mariotti also summed up the feelings of many US onlookers regarding the latest doping revelation about Armstrong by saying, "They could keep sabotaging him."

Hersh does not dismiss the L'Equipe claims out of hand as many US columnists have, suggesting that Armstrong would find more success with a legal fight instead of another three weeks of pedaling around France.

"His presence in the 2006 race would have no more impact on the debate than his repeated denials of ever having used banned drugs or his having had no positive drug tests after 1999," Hersh wrote. "As the Ben Johnson and BALCO cases should have made abundantly clear, it is not hard to beat drug testing.

"Armstrong won't shake the story by dragging it with him around France for three weeks, when each account of the race undoubtedly will focus on his reasons for being there. He would be wiser to try to exact vengeance in the courts."

[Jeff]

That is some funny chit Dave!

[Franksmith]

That is the BEST and most hilarious, yet seriously true post in my time.

I was on the phone with tech support for something and I literally had to choke from busting out loud laughing.

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

[LastClick]

You had me going until paragraph three!!

[Hunter]

[Franksmith]

I just got done sending it out to MANY freinds.... but I did a little editing near the end

PARIS, France (Reuters) --

Lance Armstrong's record setting seventh Tour de France victory, along with his entire Tour de France legacy, may be tarnished by what could turn out to be one of the greatest sports scandals of all time.

Armstrong is being quizzed by French police after three banned substances were found in his South France hotel room while on vacation after winning the 2005 Tour de France.

The three substances found were toothpaste, deodorant, and soap which have been banned by French authorities for over 75 years.

Armstrong's girlfriend, American rocker Sheryl Crowe, is quoted as saying "We use them every day in America, so we naturally thought they'd be ok throughout Europe."

Along with these three banned substances, French authorities also physically searched Armstrong and found several other interesting items that they haven’t seen since the Americans were there during WW II, items included a backbone, guts and a testicle.

I absolutely love this thing!!!

[kenstogie]

F'ing french fags. I hope he kicks their ass again.

[DWavs]

I knew my ears were burning for a reason!