Puff Cigar Discussion Forums

str8edg · 02-01-2008, 01:56 PM

Cheese and mustard......

brother I almost swallowed my tongue... that was funny

vstrommark · 02-01-2008, 02:20 PM

Headcrash · 02-01-2008, 03:09 PM

Those are some great stories. I remember the days of being in level 1 & 2 support and as much "fun" as it was at the time I don't miss it at all. Luckily I am now on the networking side so I don't have a lot of interaction with users unless we get busy as we are a smaller place so I help out when I can.

When I first started in IT 10 years ago I worked on an Internet helpdesk and this lady called me and was having issues installing our software. She informed me that nothing was working. After having her try to explain this to me for about 5-10 min I was totally lost and decided lets just reboot the system and start fresh.

So I asked her if there were any other programs running on her computer so we could close them or save data is needed before we rebooted. Well she didn't understand what I was talking about. So I continued to ask if she was working on anything before trying the install or if she had any windows open on her screen........her response to this was......."oh no honey it is far too hot out to have any windows open, I have the air conditioner running"

This story is 100% true.....I had to put her on hold and I was in tears I was laughing so hard....oh and I wanted to tell all the guys around me what she said.

That is just one of the many crazy calls I have taken over the years.

dunng · 02-01-2008, 03:49 PM

Some light reading - BOFH http://www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/

Infin1ty · 02-01-2008, 04:44 PM

Well I got one for ya. I just off the phone with a lady who asked me if she could just put a license into the fax machine, or if she had to make a copy of it first!

Infin1ty · 02-02-2008, 11:44 AM

Well as always I have your daily laugh..

Quote:

Gateway color codes their connectors as well as their ports. Yet:

Customer: "I'm looking at the back of the system, and I don't know where to plug in the mouse. There are two holes that are the same size as the mouse."
Tech Support: "Ok, what color is the tip of the mouse plug?"
Customer: "Orange."
Tech Support: "Do you see the orange 'hole' on the back of the computer?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "That is where the mouse plugs into."
Customer: "Oh. How about the keyboard?"
Tech Support: "What color is the plug on the keyboard?"
Customer: "Purple."
Tech Support: "And do you see the purple 'hole' on the back of the computer?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "That is where the keyboard plugs in. The tips are color coded."
Customer: "I see. How about the speakers?"

Quote:

I had this conversation recently with a lady who swore she had been using computers since forever.

Tech Support: "All right. Now click 'OK'."
Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
Tech Support: "Yes, click 'OK'."
Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
Tech Support: "That's right. Click 'OK'."
Customer: "So I click 'OK', right?"
Tech Support: "Right. Click 'OK'."

Pause.

Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."
Tech Support: "YOU CLICKED 'CANCEL'???"
Customer: "That's what I was supposed to do, right?"
Tech Support: "No, you were supposed to click 'OK'."
Customer: "I thought you said to click 'Cancel'."
Tech Support: "NO. I said to click 'OK'."
Customer: "Oh."
Tech Support: "Now we have to start over."
Customer: "Why?"
Tech Support: "Because you clicked 'Cancel'."
Customer: "Wasn't I supposed to click 'Cancel'?"
Tech Support: "No. Forget that. Let's start from the top."
Customer: "Ok."

I spent the next fifteen minutes re-constructing the carefully crafted setup for this lady's unique computer.

Tech Support: "All right. Now, are you ready to click 'OK'?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "Great. Now click 'OK'."

Pause.

Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."

And people wonder why my mouse pad has a target on it labeled "BANG HEAD HERE."

and the last one for this post...

Quote:

Customer: "I need a new modem."
Tech Support: "What's wrong with your current modem?"
Customer: "The Internet light is not on."
Tech Support: "Did you reset your modem recently?"
Customer: "Yes I did, but what does it have to do with it?"
Tech Support: "Well, resetting the modem wipes out your configuration profile, so we just need to reconfigure it."
Customer: "Did you not hear me? The modem is broken, and I demand a replacement now!"
Tech Support: "The modem is not broken. If you are willing to, we can configure it in about 2 minutes."
Customer: "I want a new modem!"
Tech Support: "We can't replace modems over a simple reconfiguration issue. All we have to do--"

CRASH.

Customer: "Now it's broke! Replace the thing already!"
Tech Support: "Ok sir, we cannot replace a modem that you destroyed, and your modem is past warranty, so you'll have to buy a new one anyway."
Customer: "!*#$(*@#%!@&#$&*(!@#*$!@*^!@#$@" (Click.)

Infin1ty · 07-01-2008, 09:24 AM

Because I can't get enough of these stories, I decided to bring back this thread. This is one that I just found:

Quote:

This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access Denied" message every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his username and password in capital letters.
Tech Support: "Ok, let's try once more, but use lower case letters."
Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard."

My friend was on duty in the main lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest, staring at the screen. After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position, only now she was impatiently tapping her foot. He asked if she needed help and she replied:
"It's about time! I pressed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!"
After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, incognizant user called the system maker's technical support line for assistance...

Technician: Hello. How can I help you today?

Customer: There's smoke coming from the power supply on my computer...

Technician: Looks like you need a new power supply...

Customer: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files...

Technician: Sir, what you described is a faulty power supply. You need to replace it...

Customer: No way! Someone told me that I just had to change the system startup files to fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the right command...

For the next ten minutes, in spite of the technician's efforts to explain the problem and its solution, the customer adamantly insisted that he was right. So, in frustration, the technician responded...

Technician: I'm sorry. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there's an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem...

Customer: I knew it!

Technician: Just add the line "LOAD NOSMOKE.COM" at the end of the CONFIG.SYS file and everything should work fine. Let me know how it goes...

About ten minutes later, the technician received a call back from the customer...

Customer: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking...

Technician: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

Customer: MS-DOS 6.22...

Technician: Well, that's your problem. That version of DOS doesn't include NOSMOKE. You'll need to contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch. Let me know how it all works out...

When nearly an hour had passed, the phone rang again...

Customer: I need a new power supply...

Technician: How did you come to that conclusion?

Customer: Well, I called Microsoft and told the technician what you said and he started asking me questions about the make of the power supply...

Technician: What did he tell you?

Customer: He said my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

Quote:

* Woman 1: "What is that little trash can on the screen?"
* Woman 2: "My son says that is call the 'recycle bin'. He tells me when I don't want a Word document anymore and I delete it, it really goes in there."
* Woman 1: "Why in the recycle thingy? Can't you just erase it?"
* Woman 2: "Oh no, Word wouldn't work for very long if I did that, I would run out of blank pages."
* Woman 1: "Why?"
* Woman 2: "Because it cleans the words off the pages, then sends the blank sheets back to Word so they can be used again. That's why it's called the recycle bin."

MithShrike · 07-01-2008, 01:20 PM

May be NSFW, foul language.

http://thewebsiteisdown.com/

MithShrike · 07-02-2008, 04:19 PM

Oh come on, no one else watched the video?

sgresso · 07-04-2008, 12:05 PM

that video was awesome

havana_lover · 07-04-2008, 12:16 PM

users are priceless I swear, I deal with an IT firm. So you think the users knew something about computers...

Infin1ty · 07-04-2008, 04:13 PM

Hey man, sorry just now got a chance to watch the video... that was great. I died when he brought up the user's desktop and it was a FUK U! and a Penis.