Some unsolicited advice

[mikeyj23]

Although my tenure at CS has been very short, my participation has already gone through several transitions. My first phase was the selfish phase (how can I set up a trade where I can get more smokes than I send out, how can I get someone to send me a Cuban, how can I fish for some good smokes). After a few months of that I moved into the seniority phase (I've been here for a while now, so people should show me some respect and recognize all my posts as 100% genius). I then went into the know-it-all phase (I know a lot more about cigars than some of the newest noobs, so I'll flaunt my limitless knowledge by snottily answering all their questions and tearing down their opinions). The worst downfall came when I hit the elitist a-hole phase (I'll say what I want about what I want regardless of how it comes out), which I'm still digging myself out of.

I'm continuing to realize that although CS is a community on its own, it is not separate from the real world. Members' real world personalities, moods and emotions are all tied in here. My elitist a-hole phase on the board coincided with an elitist a-hole phase in the rest of my life. It came to a head when I sent an incredibly haughty and rude email to someone in authority over me because I was convinced they'd done me wrong. That situation is resolved and restitution made, but it prompted me to accept some practices that can be translated easily to CS as well:

• When you read something that boils your blood and makes you want to post an angry reply, go ahead and write your reply but don't send it. Leave the computer for ten minutes, come back and consider whether it's really worth posting.
• If you consistently have problems with a certain member (either with their content or delivery), think about either ignoring them through the CS system (you won't see their posts anymore), or just visually ignoring their posts rather than replying to all their posts and continuing the rivalry.
• Before clicking "Submit New Thread" or "Submit Reply" ask yourself: Does this post help or hurt the CS community and its members? Will this post encourage or discourage members from interacting with me and/or the site? Is this something that I want to have tied to my name in the digital realm for the rest of eternity? Five years from now, would I be embarrassed to read what I'm about to post?

PDS has crafted an environment in which you can post basically whatever you want. Mods are here to keep things from getting out of hand, but speech is incredibly free here. That being said, each member is solely in charge of his or her reputation. Your reputation (and I'm not talking about RG), is whatever you create. With some of my posts, PMs and fiascos in the past, I've damaged my own reputation, but I realize that, with time, it can be repaired.

Give the mods a break. Check out the log in your own eye before criticizing the speck in someone else's.

[TripleF]

Thanks very much....it IS great advice!

[jcarlton]

Typed and deleted three times before I posted this.

[AAlmeter]

But we have no elitists here.








Posted 3 seconds after it came into my mind

[TMoneYNYY]

Wow, I never even really noticed this outta you, Mike. That being said, that was one of the best posts I've read in a while. Just like what you said, this applies not only to CS, but to real-world situations, as well. Thanks for the reminder, it's something we should keep in mind before and after each and every post.

[bruceolee]

Great post Mike! I've certainly seen those initial phases in my past posts, although I've never pretended to know everythig regarding cigars, in fact, some things are well beyond the scope of my knowledge here, but I have been in some VERY heated and charged political debates that in the end served nothing but to create an atmosphere of disdain between fellow BOTL. Thankfully, many members here are VERY forgiving and have made CS not just a place of second chances, but also innumerous second chances. I've found this place to be more of an organism or brotherhood than just another internet forum on cigars. Mike, again, that was a great post and takes alot of learned and earned humility. Threads like this are why I've never felt the desire to mix it up with other forums.

[jamz]

Great thread and good advice. Also, I'm making elitist a-hole my title.

[ca21455]

Well thought out post Mike!

I don't mind responses contrary to mine, as long as someone is saying how they honestly feel. Have received some good feed back that makes me think about the position taken.

This is after all a cigar forum, a place to share ideas and the joys of this great hobby.

[z3ro]

great advice! this needs to be stickied! or at least added to the CS rules thread!

[mikeyj23]

Originally Posted by z3ro

great advice! this needs to be stickied! or at least added to the CS rules thread!

These definitely are not rules, just my

[JordanWexler]

I havent really seen anything from you that i thought was bad mikey.
But great post, and superb insight.

[icehog3]

Originally Posted by mikeyj23

[*]When you read something that boils your blood and makes you want to post an angry reply, go ahead and write your reply but don't send it. Leave the computer for ten minutes, come back and consider whether it's really worth posting.

If I had a nickel for every time, Mike......

Great post.

[weetone]

My parents do that to me...

Except for the times when they've actually sent it...

[mikeyj23]

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Advice I need to remind myself of often.

[El Gato]

I really like this post. Thanks for "bringing it back" for consideration.
It stopped and made me think about and appreciate the better parts of this community.
Well done Mike.