Need Relationship Advice

[oldforge]

Originally Posted by Infin1ty

I appreciate the advice man, but me and her are both not like that, and I know your thinking I'm just full of shit, but she really isn't. She would have straight up told me if she had found someone else, and me and her are staying friends regardless of what happens. She never said she wanted a break.

Infinity said 99.99% and you said you guys are the exception. Gotta go with the odds, man.

I would be finding the hottest chick I could find and dating her in public _now_.

Imho it is your _only_ chance at this point, and that is about a 20 percenter.

Instead of talking to her about how much you love her you should be talking about how great it used to be but if she wants to move on it is OK with you.

Then prove it.

[joey469]

man i no how you feel. going threw a break up my self. Thing are not always what they seem!! There a reason she said thou thing to you. Trust me the harder you try to get back with her the more you are going to push her aways. Just be her friend and go from there. If it to be it will . Hang in there and remember thing always happen for a reason.

[icehog3]

Been there, done that, more than once. It's over. Let her go and move on. You'll save yourself any more heartache than you already have.

[JPH]

Give her my number....


Really brother.... dont spill your guts to her all emotional like....

Just say exactly this calmly:

"If this is what you want thats fine...I just want you to remember that you wanted this... not me"

Optional: Bitch ..... in closing

[Bigwaved]

Originally Posted by icehog3

Been there, done that, more than once. It's over. Let her go and move on. You'll save yourself any more heartache than you already have.

I never left you! I am just playing hard to get.

[JPH]

Originally Posted by icehog3

Been there, done that, more than once. It's over. Let her go and move on. You'll save yourself any more heartache than you already have.

Originally Posted by Bigwaved

I never left you! I am just playing hard to get.

You slut Tom....I thought you were talking about me.

[oldforge]

I have about as many books around here as cigars--which means I probably have more books than our small town's local library. :-)

So, lessee, from "The Art of Seduction", Robert Greene, Penguin Books, 2003, page 73:

"The world is full of people who try, people who impose themselves aggressively. They may gain temporary victories, but the longer they are around, the more people want to confound them. They leave no space around themselves, and without space there can be no seduction."

Create the space--date other women now!

[icehog3]

Originally Posted by JPH

You slut Tom....I thought you were talking about me.

Shhhhh....Davey Boy is violent when he gets jealous.

In deference to Infin1ty, who is more than serious about something going on in his life, I don't mean to sound short, but to think that your relationship will be the exception to the rule that so many of us have experienced in naive. Her words tell me it is over for her, even if you don't want it to be over for you. Repeated attempts to get he back will either drive her away even faster, or give a temporary respite that is bound to fail. Move on My Brother, there are lots of good ladies out there. You can't hold onto someone who doesn't want to be held on to....

[oldforge]

Icehog--There is hope for our fellow gorilla to get the girl back, but he has to play all his cards just right.

I was just skimming more of "The Art of Seduction" and it was clear how he has to handle her in one on one situations.

Here the rules to re-seduce her:

(1) Pleasant but relaxed--keep it low key.
(2) No negative comments, no negative body language.
(3) Flirt a little with the eyes, joke a little, keep it light.
(4) Don't give her any warning you are about to date other women. You want her to learn this on her own and be surprised.

The book suggests (and I agree) that seduction (or re-seduction) is the art of mixed signals. Confuse her and you regain control.

What you want is for her to call you and scream at you "What the h(*& is this I hear about you dating Betty Boobs. Are you trying to humiliate me?"

Then our gorilla says: "Well, you told me we were breaking up and were just friends and to move on, so that is exactly what I did."

At this point if she has the slightest interest in returning it will be hard to keep her from banging down the door. :-)

[floydpink]

This came up a while ago and was almost the same situation with another brother here and I'll say the same thing I said then, and appologize for the harshness in advance. It's just the truth;

Men are hunters and women are gatherers since the beginning of time. Women don't have the same urges as men in regards to "spreading their seed" and when a women leaves the nest, it is not because she needs time or space.

It's because someone else has replaced you in her heart and her attention has gone the same way she is soon to go; away.

If she isn't with someone now, she is definitely looking.

Never forget that nice guys finish last and bad boys get all the snatch.

Also take what i say with a grain of salt as I am no longer a bad boy, have no game, and am late for a tea party in my 3 year old daughter's tent with a teddy bear, bunny, princess and dolphin and my wife is gonna kick my ass if I don't get off the computer and I am now risking my 45 minute cigar time before bed, so i gotta go.

Seriously, I wish you the best and promise that one day you'll look back on this and it will all seem funny.

In the meantime go bang as many as her friends as possible and understand that it is very unlikely you are gonna be friends in the distant future in light of what is happening that you may or may not realize.

Learn from this and move on now before you get more hurt.

[Puffin Fresh]

I will also second what JPH has said. Additionally, instead of acting fine when you meet, I would suggest just not meeting. Call her the day of to cancel and say you made other plans or something came up and you'll have to call to reschedule. Then don't call.

Seriously, the best thing you can do is make an effort to be fine. It may actually attract her back (don't count on it) but if it doesn't, you'll have already started getting on with your life.

The only part of any breakups I regret is when I acted the fool emotionally. Be a man and remember you have a pair.

[AriesOpusX]

Not to give you more tough love from the jungle but its over bro. Let her go if she comes back she comes back but I have to agree with the other wise gentlemen who gave their as blunt as they may sound its the truth..

[taltos]

From an old t-shirt, "If you love someone, let them go.
If they come back, they are yours for all time.
If they don't return, hunt them down and kill them."

On a more serious note, like others have said, it is time to move on. Reconnect with friends and do stuff for your own, not her, benefit.

[JPH]

Yeah, but for how long is my question....

It is fairly easy to get any girl back any given one day... but longevity is the tough part...

I wish Chris all the luck in the world...

Strip Club?

yes

Originally Posted by oldforge

Icehog--There is hope for our fellow gorilla to get the girl back, but he has to play all his cards just right.

I was just skimming more of "The Art of Seduction" and it was clear how he has to handle her in one on one situations.

Here the rules to re-seduce her:

(1) Pleasant but relaxed--keep it low key.
(2) No negative comments, no negative body language.
(3) Flirt a little with the eyes, joke a little, keep it light.
(4) Don't give her any warning you are about to date other women. You want her to learn this on her own and be surprised.

The book suggests (and I agree) that seduction (or re-seduction) is the art of mixed signals. Confuse her and you regain control.

What you want is for her to call you and scream at you "What the h(*& is this I hear about you dating Betty Boobs. Are you trying to humiliate me?"

Then our gorilla says: "Well, you told me we were breaking up and were just friends and to move on, so that is exactly what I did."

At this point if she has the slightest interest in returning it will be hard to keep her from banging down the door. :-)

[AAlmeter]

Originally Posted by icehog3

Shhhhh....Davey Boy is violent when he gets jealous.

In deference to Infin1ty, who is more than serious about something going on in his life, I don't mean to sound short, but to think that your relationship will be the exception to the rule that so many of us have experienced in naive. Her words tell me it is over for her, even if you don't want it to be over for you. Repeated attempts to get he back will either drive her away even faster, or give a temporary respite that is bound to fail. Move on My Brother, there are lots of good ladies out there. You can't hold onto someone who doesn't want to be held on to....

All I can say is listen to the advice given by so many in this thread.

I know you feel its a rough patch in what is otherwise a great relationship...the problem is, she doesn't.

Let it be, walk proud, you'll do better, you'll be happier. You won't change the outcome no matter what you do...and honestly, you shouldn't want to. Give it a little time and you'll look back on this as being a blessing.

And I know what is being said does not apply to your situation, and the whole "go screw some other hot chick" doesn't apply to how you're feeling...but just keep procrastinating...one day at a time...whatever stunt/profession of love/confession of stupidity/etc you plan on pulling. Time, friends, and interaction with other people will help a lot and will make you a better person. There's a reason we all need to be in love and be heartbroken a few times before we fully "mature".

Anyway, shoot me a PM if you want to chat about it, either here or on the phone...just went through the same shit myself and learned that the advice given here is spot on.

You'll come out of this better than before. Trust me