Need Relationship Advice

[Infin1ty]

she is 19 as well

[andrewsutherland2002]

Originally Posted by Tazman

I am not an expert but sit down and tell her exactly how you feel and why you feel the way you do. Tell her a lot has happened since you both met and maybe some feelings have changed, but you really want to try and work things out because she means the world to you. Sure, it can begin as a few dates a week, etc. but you want to work on it if she is willing. After two years, there must have been an attraction in the beginning for both of you. If its love, she will want to try just as much as you do. Maybe you both need a little space. For example, you have some time with your friends and she can have the same with her friends. Constant togetherness is never any good. If all else fails, ask her exactly what has changed and why. I am sure she knows and hopefully she shares her thoughts. Just remember whether you date, live together, or marry, communication is the key to success. Tell the truth, keep it real, and keep your girl. I hope this helps and I wish you luck. Send me a PM and let me know how it worked out. In the mean time, pour yourself a beverage, toast up a cigar, and relax.

Tazman

Also ask her why she doesnt' feel the same way about you anymore. Tell her that you are willing to work on some of the shortcomings that she sees now. Don't change who you are, but better yourself in her eyes if that is part of the problem. Sit down and negotiate things between the two of you. There should be some give and take between the both of you. Just don't say the word "negotiate" to her.

If she's not willing, then you are better w/o her.

[floydpink]

Originally Posted by Infin1ty

she is 19 as well

Nuff said.

[Infin1ty]

I don't even want to get into the age thing, that is why it was never mentioned.

[dcyoung]

Originally Posted by Infin1ty

I don't even want to get into the age thing, that is why it was never mentioned.

IMHO the age thing is a factor.. I had found the women of my dreams, we were together for 8 years, had a child, were engaged. Then for no particular reason really, it all fell apart. We were young, had no life life experience, never dated anyone else. How could we be sure this was forever when we knew no different? Makes sense now 12 years later, to me at least... Let her go...If it was meant to be..she'll be back...If not..she is out there.

Best of luck either way bro!

[billhud]

That "age thing" does matter --- greatly in most instances. Just the next 3 or 4 years will probably make a huge difference in both of you especially in regards to learning about yourself, where you are, where you want to go, and how you want to fit into the great wide world out there.

[mike32312]

Remember the famous quote from 40 year old virgin.
"Don't put the P _ _ _ _ Y on a pedestal. Make her come to you. Don't beg, don't crawl, Man Up. If it's meant to be it will be. There are alot more women out there than her. Good Luck.

[RGD]

Originally Posted by Infin1ty

she is 19 as well

Originally Posted by floydpink

Nuff said.

Originally Posted by dcyoung

IMHO the age thing is a factor..

Originally Posted by billhud

That "age thing" does matter --- greatly in most instances.

Have to agree here - you may be pretty mature for a 19 year old - but the average 19 year old isn't to the point of making a life choice at this point.

For now - chalk it up to life, enjoy the memories and move on - there is another girl out there just waiting for you to find her. That's how it works. I can only thank God I didn't marry the love of my life when I was 19.


Ron

[RPB67]

Let her go.

Just be thankful you were not married then it becomes real fun.

[oldforge]

Both the women who refused my gracious offer of marriage were teens at the time. Were they dumb losers or what?

;-)

At nineteen I was an emotional basket case--I don't even like to think about those years.

It gets better--it really does.

If I could do it over again at that age I would have dated lots of women and try not to fall for any of them.

:-)

The woman of your dreams is out there waiting for you--and right now you both wouldn't recognize each other if you collided in the street. That is a good thing--because she is probably well below the age of consent.

:-)

[Puffy69]

First ya gotta be sure that theres no one else..Woman have a way of convincing men that there isnt because men dont want to think that there isnt anyone taking our girl from us but most of the time there is..Woman dont like to be alone so leaving a relationship cold turkey is rare..Usually if there is no one else they will try to work on the one they are in..But there are times when Woman think the grass is greener and try to move on to find that grass but then realize they screwed up..By that time you have another chick..

Anyways, make positively sure there is no one else..If there is, its over until they come crawling back after they realize they made a mistake. And that would be the only way you will get her back is after she'd been with someone else..

If that isnt the case then you have a chance but you have to play it cool and i mean cool or she will end up further away than she is now..

first you need to find out what she doesnt like about you but be cool about asking the question. do this over dinner and drinks..set an atmosphere of which she looks around and feels special.(she may feel like, if she leaves she will be missing this) dont make it seem like your trying to get her back. So ask her a few questions..Say, so i dont make the same mistakes in my next relationship..
What did I do wrong?
What pushed you away?
make it seem like your trying to move on too and maybe you'll realize you are but the thing your trying to do here is get your sexy back..make her look at you the way she did before..freshin it up a bit..and if its going good ask her for another chance to make it right..if she doesnt go for it then its definitely over and you need to get over it..remember, you only get one chance to convince her to come back so make it good..spend some $$$. all your trying to do is change her mind. If you succeed, things will be stronger than ever. Because now you know what not to do or what she likes..But make sure that she knows the stuff you dont like too..Dont make it all about just her. You have your needs too. Just gotta communicate..

The one thing us guys do in our relationship is get bored with it and not maintaining it and they expect us to do that. If we dont, then we just co-exist in the relationship and it dies..Gets old..Gotta keep it fresh and new as much as you can. Keep her knowing that she is with her soul mate..
Be strong bro and first and far most, dont seem insecure and despirate..
Good luck

[AriesOpusX]

You've got your whole life ahead of you brother, I'm sure a lot of these guys wish they could go back to 19 and live knowing what they know now. Sometimes the advice from the older experienced guys sounds like crap but its really not bad advice.

I can tell you exactly what the problem is right now...she's 19, thats how 19 year old girls are..hormonal and insane.

[gnukfu]

I wasn't going to comment because it has all been said but since I have personal experience with relationships. You are better to find out now than to get married, have kids and then the feelings that were repressed inside her (because you "played the game" and "made the right moves" to get her back) come out....she decides it is definitely over and leaves gets a lawyer... and then the sh*tstorm that is a divorce arrives. Even worse a child is then involved and the emotional scars that are left on the parents and child are brutal, the lawyers make money, the parents lose a ton of money, etc etc.

Relationships/marriages are tough enough to maintain between couples that each believe they have found their soulmate. Trying to turn it into a game to get her back will only result in tremendous hurt down the road. Anyway this is my straight up blunt and brutal advice.

[Infin1ty]

Well I am not going to make this some kind of game to try and get her back, and just say whatever she wants to hear in order to get her back. When she comes over I am going to flat out tell her how I feel and what I want to do, and if she doesn't feel the same way, then there really isn't anything I can do about it, you can't force feelings no matter how hard you want to.

[icehog3]

Originally Posted by Infin1ty

Well I am not going to make this some kind of game to try and get her back, and just say whatever she wants to hear in order to get her back. When she comes over I am going to flat out tell her how I feel and what I want to do, and if she doesn't feel the same way, then there really isn't anything I can do about it, you can't force feelings no matter how hard you want to.

You absolutely can't force someone to feel something they don't want to.

I know that sometimes people want to swallow their pride to win back something they have lost, but I think you need to keep your pride intact. Tell her how you feel without asking her to respond, and if you see it is going South, just let her go.

Everything happens for a reason, and in time, you will see why this happened, and you will be the better for it.