Need Relationship Advice

[Infin1ty]

Alright guys, normally I wouldn't bother you guys with this, but I really need some advice.

My girlfriend left at the beginning of this week after almost 2 years. Now she didn't leave me because of a fight or cheating or anything, she just said she didn't feel the same way about me anymore.

I love this girl with everything I have, and I am having a really hard time dealing this situation, basically I wanted some input from my fellow Guerrillas. I have a very strong feeling (it may just be me convincing myself) that we are going to get back together, but I don't know what I should do to make that happen. She is going to be coming over tomorrow and I don't know if I should go ahead and say something to her. I've been thinking maybe we could go see a relationship councilor, or even just starting over with the whole dating thing. A lot has happened between us in the past 2 years, we've basically been together non-stop the entire time, and I don't know if she just needs a break or what, but I just can't see losing her. She really is my everything and this time apart is just killing me.

Luckily she has decided to stay down here in SC (her family lives up in MI) so I got lucky with that one.

Anyways, any and all advice will be greatly appreciated, and is much needed.

Thank you everyone. I'm going to go have myself a stogie to try and calm myself for the time being.

[qwerty1500]

I'm the last person who should be giving you advice about women. But, the cigar sounds like a good idea.

[MithShrike]

Some advice I got from a friend, "If she wants to go let her. It could be worse."

[JPH]

Yo brother...Ive been there many manymanymnymanymanymnay times.

My advice it to make her think you are fine...if you seem love sick it will sicken her...and she'll be gone...

The good part is if you do this and she doesn't come back your already on the road to recovery as your mindset should be "I'm moving on"....

I know you "love her" but the first pretty girl to give you a chance and you'll be fine...I know it's har to beleive now.... but it's true.

Relationship counselor is out.... She will roll her eye's at that idea and shake her head... If I were you I wound't even mention it... I HAVE MENTIONED IT BEFORE... not a good idea.

Operation "check a bitch"....If she knows you are moving on she'll probably come crawling back like a freakin slug....slithering along.... than it's your choice to squash her or give her another chance....

Step it up brother....

cell number sent.... Call me if you need/want to talk....Ive been there a bunch.

Originally Posted by Infin1ty

Alright guys, normally I wouldn't bother you guys with this, but I really need some advice.

My girlfriend left at the beginning of this week after almost 2 years. Now she didn't leave me because of a fight or cheating or anything, she just said she didn't feel the same way about me anymore.

I love this girl with everything I have, and I am having a really hard time dealing this situation, basically I wanted some input from my fellow Guerrillas. I have a very strong feeling (it may just be me convincing myself) that we are going to get back together, but I don't know what I should do to make that happen. She is going to be coming over tomorrow and I don't know if I should go ahead and say something to her. I've been thinking maybe we could go see a relationship councilor, or even just starting over with the whole dating thing. A lot has happened between us in the past 2 years, we've basically been together non-stop the entire time, and I don't know if she just needs a break or what, but I just can't see losing her. She really is my everything and this time apart is just killing me.

Luckily she has decided to stay down here in SC (her family lives up in MI) so I got lucky with that one.

Anyways, any and all advice will be greatly appreciated, and is much needed.

Thank you everyone. I'm going to go have myself a stogie to try and calm myself for the time being.

[Blueface]

People should be as free as birds.
If she wishes to fly away, not much you can or should do.
If it is meant to be that the two of you are to get together again, it will happen.
I would simply express to her your feelings about her.
If she still feels the same that she has lost whatever it was that held her with you, not much you can do other than to let her spread her wings.
Relationships are made up of two people wanting to be with each other.
Something got lost along the way for you in those two years and you did not see it.
At minimum, after you share how you still feel about her, see if she can share what it is that caused her to lose the spark.
Good luck.

[Tazman]

I am not an expert but sit down and tell her exactly how you feel and why you feel the way you do. Tell her a lot has happened since you both met and maybe some feelings have changed, but you really want to try and work things out because she means the world to you. Sure, it can begin as a few dates a week, etc. but you want to work on it if she is willing. After two years, there must have been an attraction in the beginning for both of you. If its love, she will want to try just as much as you do. Maybe you both need a little space. For example, you have some time with your friends and she can have the same with her friends. Constant togetherness is never any good. If all else fails, ask her exactly what has changed and why. I am sure she knows and hopefully she shares her thoughts. Just remember whether you date, live together, or marry, communication is the key to success. Tell the truth, keep it real, and keep your girl. I hope this helps and I wish you luck. Send me a PM and let me know how it worked out. In the mean time, pour yourself a beverage, toast up a cigar, and relax.

Tazman

[blugill]

I've been in your shoes and still are from time to time.

The best thing I have learned is that the fastest way to feel better is to date someone else, which oddly at times has the effect of attracting the person who left back. I'm NOT suggesting to use this as a ploy or any other way to get her back what so ever.

I'm only giving you my experience on how to feel better the fastest way possible. This is my experience so take it for what its worth.

[bonggoy]

My girlfriend left at the beginning of this week after almost 2 years. Now she didn't leave me because of a fight or cheating or anything, she just said she didn't feel the same way about me anymore.

Move on.

I have a very strong feeling (it may just be me convincing myself) that we are going to get back together, but I don't know what I should do to make that happen

No you're not going back together. Move on.

I don't know if she just needs a break or what, but I just can't see losing her

It's over. She is probably interested with someone else or already seeing someone else. Move on.

She really is my everything and this time apart is just killing me.

This is probably one of the reason why she is looking somewhere else. You suffocated her. It's over. Move on.

Luckily she has decided to stay down here in SC (her family lives up in MI) so I got lucky with that one.

The person she is interested with is probably from SC. It's not about you. Move on.

Anyways, any and all advice will be greatly appreciated, and is much needed.

When a female says, I want a break. 99.9999999% of the time it means she either is interested with someone else or already seeing someone else. Sorry brother, that's the kind of world we live in. Best thing to do is not to do anything. Start hanging out with with your friend. Get drunk and bang the next female that will say yes.

Btw, if I am not clear enough, it's over and MOVE ON.


PS, delete her email, her phone, everything. Most of all, no drunk text, email, calls. No contact.

[K Baz]

In one single moment your whole life can turn 'round
I stand there for a minute starin' straight into the ground
Lookin' to the left slightly, then lookin' back down
World feels like it's caved in - proper sorry frown
Please let me show you where we could only just be, for us
I can change and I can grow or we could adjust
The wicked thing about us is we always have trust
We can even have an open relationship, if you must
I look at her she stares almost straight back at me
But her eyes glaze over like she's lookin' straight through me
Then her eyes must have closed for what seems an eternity
When they open up she's lookin' down at her feet

Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now
It's over

Thanks to the streets.

My personal life to to short to try to fix what may not be able to be fixed.

In my experience it better to find "the one" were you both feel that same and its "all magic".

[Mystophales]

When a woman says "she doesn't feel the same way anymore" that is a big red flag. that is one step away from the phrase "It's not you....it's me". I would follow the advice given earlier by JPH (which is dead on!).

This is the same thing that happened to me and my EX wife and I tried to make it work but all that did was waste another year and a half of my life. Trust me if she wants to go...let her. You will be much better off in the long run.

Good cal JPH...

[petewho]

I absolutely hate the situation you're put in. I've been there before and it sucks beyond belief. Don't do like I did and keep trying - that just pushes them away faster.

I say tell her straightup how you feel, with no emotion/sadness/anxiety/etc. Just very plainly stated "this is how I feel, and this is what I would like to see happen", then drop it... Do not ask her any questions, just stop at this point (and then break the awkward silence by saying goodbye WITH a smile). 100% drop the ball in her court and don't expect it to come back. If it's meant to be, she'll come around. If not, you said your piece and move along.

And if it's over, be glad it's now when she's a girlfriend and not later when she's a wife/mother/name-on-the-mortgage/etc.

Hang in there.

[andy_mccabe501]

Most of all, no drunk text, email, calls.

that, is an important piece of advice.
only leads to things said you didn't mean and never has a good outcome
as everyones given good (and better than i could give) advice there's not much else i can say, just hope it works out however it plays out

good luck with whatever decision you make

andy

[roarknumber1]

Stalking is a lost art.

[Infin1ty]

Originally Posted by bonggoy

Move on.



No you're not going back together. Move on.



It's over. She is probably interested with someone else or already seeing someone else. Move on.



This is probably one of the reason why she is looking somewhere else. You suffocated her. It's over. Move on.



The person she is interested with is probably from SC. It's not about you. Move on.



When a female says, I want a break. 99.9999999% of the time it means she either is interested with someone else or already seeing someone else. Sorry brother, that's the kind of world we live in. Best thing to do is not to do anything. Start hanging out with with your friend. Get drunk and bang the next female that will say yes.

Btw, if I am not clear enough, it's over and MOVE ON.


PS, delete her email, her phone, everything. Most of all, no drunk text, email, calls. No contact.

I appreciate the advice man, but me and her are both not like that, and I know your thinking I'm just full of shit, but she really isn't. She would have straight up told me if she had found someone else, and me and her are staying friends regardless of what happens. She never said she wanted a break.

[Bigwaved]

Not to be harsh, but you most likely do not want to hear anyone tell you this is a lost cause. If you are seeing a pattern of responses, it is not due to people trying to make you feel badly, but more of sharing what experiences they have. Think about your original post compared to the one you posted right before mine. It may tell you what you really want to hear.