Seeking some advice.

[Ski1215]

I'm not really sure on what advice to give to my girlfriend. Shes got scholarships for teaching at a small private school and is going for her masters in teaching in a 5 year program. She also plays softball and this year will be student teaching. She just brought up to me joining a sorority. Not a normal sorority like at a big school, but a community service frat/ sorority. Their not associated with greek like. Don't have a house, no crazy hazing or rituals, no wild parties or anything and it is male and female. They basically meet a few nights a week and do community service.

Right now her roommate is involved with it, and she wants to join. Like I said they meet a few times a week and organize rather large community service events locally.

I'm not really sure what to say to her about it. She tells me she wants to do it, but I can really see that she is still homesick and is going to these "rush" meetings where they convince you to join without really thinking long term. Shes just going with her roommate to take her mind of things.

When her softball starts up she needs to maintain a 3.5 gpa just to play (shes smart, but thats hard no matter who you are!) on top of that her games are all double headers, and practice 6 times a week.

How do I tell her I'm not for her joining? Should I be? I'm the least controlling boyfriend you could imagine and I fully respect her making her own decision, but I also feel like I'm a good judge of her character, and in this case I think she might be making a mistake. I'm talking to her and just trying to be the voice of reason, and not be negative about it, but I know her well and she has always been close to home. I think it will kill her to not come home once between Christmas and spring break, and have a committment every single weekend day for the rest of the year.

[TXRebel]

[SIZE=3]All you can do is give her your opinion and go from there. She’s going to do what she wants to do anyway.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Now smoke a cigar, have a drink and relax. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Now for your psychiatric[/SIZE][SIZE=3] bill, [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Amount Due: a 5er.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]

[Kneo]

I think your best bet is just tell her everything you told us here. Remind of her of he schedule and all the things she is committed to. But be sure to remind her that you are there for her and will help anyway she can. Let her know you will support her anyway you can.

[Badmamajama]

Gotta agree, Im not much on personal life experience, but between, myself and my crew weve got over 100 years life experience, and we all agree with Texas Redneck or whatever his name is, let her know where you stand, give her the facts that you have and your observations about her situation.

Other then that, do what any good gorilla would do...

Now smoke a cigar, have a drink and relax.

[ca21455]

When my daughter attended college she decided to join a sorority. Initially I was not for it, but visited the house and spoke with the representatives there. It turned out to be one of the best things she did during school.

Her first year she lived in a dorm and did not do as well on her studies due to all the distractions of being away from home. But the next year the sorority keep her in line, was an excellent source of support and gave her many opportunities to volunteer . She did very well and graduated with honors.

I can not say what influence a particular group will have on an individual, but our experience was very positive.

Best wishes and I am sure whatever the decision it will turn out OK.