Boy wants to return to school as a girl

[Sparhawk]

HIGHLANDS RANCH – The issue of being transgender usually pops up with students in high school. However, a 3rd grade boy wants to dress as a girl and wants teachers and students to address him with a girl's name.

"As a public school system, our calling is to educate all kids no matter where they come from, what their background is, beliefs, values, it doesn't matter," said Whei Wong, Douglas County Schools spokesperson.

Moral and Ethical relativism

Wong says the staff at one of Douglas County's schools is preparing to accommodate the student and answer questions other students might have. In order to protect the child as much as possible, 9NEWS has chosen not to reveal his school or other names that might identify the child.

"I see this as being a very difficult situation to explain to my daughter to explain why someone would not want to be the gender they were born with," said Dave M.

His daughter will be in the same class as the student.

Not difficult at all. You build a relationship with your child from age 0 with open honest communication as a significant part.

The student had attended this same school in years prior, but had left to go to classes in another district for about two years. The transgender student will be returning to what is the child's home school. Dave M. thinks classmates will recognize the change.

Anyone see an agenda here? Was he a 'boy' or a 'girl' in the other school? or was he ushered away to make the transition so the "progression' of his change wasn't seen with his 'home school'. That would impact their ability to accept him.

"I do think that there's going to be an acknowledgement that 'Why are you in a dress this year when you were in pants last year?'" said Dave M.

This is a question not an acknowledgement.

Wong says teachers are planning to address the student by name instead of using he or she. The child will not use the regular boys or girls bathroom. Instead, two unisex bathrooms in the building will be made available. The school is handing out packets to parents who have questions. The packets contain information about people who are transgender.

Wouldn't want to confuse the poor lad by calling him 'He' now can we??

"I think it is unusual," said Wong. "It's something we haven't had discussions about before. It's something that we haven't maybe really had to think about before, but now we will."

Family Therapist Larry Curry hopes the child and his parents are seeing a counselor just to be safe.

"I am very concerned because with the guidelines in place, this is a very early age," said Curry. "I don't know too many parents who are equipped to answer that kind of question or deal with it without some other support."

Kim Pearson says the family is getting support. She is the executive director of a national organization called TransYouth Family Advocates. The group has been working with the family and Douglas County Schools.

"Initially there was a lot of resistance," said Pearson. "Now, their position is they want this child to be safe in their school."

Why would there be resistance?? Maybe because an agenda is being pushed by the Public School System and allowing a 8 year old to determine his own gender is somehow WRONG???

Pearson says their group is working with an increasing number of families nationwide who have elementary age transgender kids.

"We know that families are more comfortable talking about this," she said. "There was no place for parents to go."

Pearson says children as young as 5 years old are realizing their true gender identity and her group wants to help parents who may be resisting the acceptance of this.

Translation: You don't know how to raise your child. We know better than you, so shut up and let us handle this.

"Parents are likely to think this it's a phase, but how long do phases last?" said Pearson. "With these kids, it's something that's very consistent."

That thought is not comforting to Dave M., who believes his daughter is not ready to think about the issue of being transgender.

"I don't think a 3rd grader does have the rationale to decide this life-altering choice," said Dave M.

He is also unhappy with the way the school is handling this. The district has been preparing for the child's return to this school for months. Dave M. thinks other parents should have been made aware of this sooner.

"I just find it ironic that they can dictate the dress style of children to make sure they don't wear inappropriate clothing, but they have no controls in place for someone wearing transgender clothing," said Dave M.

Hit the nail on the head. This is all about an agenda not the wellbeing of a child.

Curry says parents like Dave M. should not bring the issue up to their students until they ask. However, he says parents should be ready to answer tough questions from the student's fellow third graders.

"I think reassuring them and letting them know that they'll be alright. Their classmate is alright," said Curry. "This is something their classmate has chosen to do. It is not contagious."

Be a passive parent, Your child understands right from wrong (especially if we tell him/her at school). just sit back and wait for them to come to you with questions. Wouldn't want yo uto instill morals, ethics, or any standards in your child's life. It's best left up to us. [/sarcasm]

Pearson says the most important thing is to make sure the transgender student does not become the target of bullying or verbal abuse which can lead to suicide.

"These children are at high-risk," said Pearson. "Our number one goal is to keep kids safe."

The safely of a transgendered child is more important than any other child. If this child gets picked on or is involved in any number of games kids play (as happens in any school), it will fall under Hate Crime laws and he will be elevated above all others.

Wong says mental health professionals will be available if students, staff, or parents have any concerns at all. She says the district views this as just another diversity issue and hopes everyone can accept and respect the student's wishes.

"Our staff has been briefed and trained to look for concerns," said Wong.

The family of the transgender student did not want to comment.

This is just sad on so many levels. I am so thankful that my kids are in private school. We know everyone of their teachers, Principal, vice Principal. Curriculum has been provided to us, so we can see what our kids learn. My wife serves Lunch every Thursday and EVERY kid is respectful and polite to her. He have so many Birthday parties to attend, it's not funny. If we have issue with between out kids, we pick up the phone. We don't leave it to the School.

Parents need to be intimately involved in their child's upbringing and education. Leaving it to others that have no vested interest is a recipe for disaster.

[/soapbox]

[dozenmonkeyz-cr]

If the kid is old enough to decide he wants to be a woman, shouldn't he also be old enough to vote, serve in the military, drink alcohol, etc.
You are right Sparhawk people need to act more like parents and less like supportive best friends. I am all about tolerance and my kids know to always treat others with respect but as parents we should be the ones that know and make the final decision about whats best for our kids until they prove repsonsible enough to make mature decisions. Also, schools should never assume the role of parents away from home - I only want my kids learning the ABC's and the 123's at school, my wife and I can fully handle the duties of teaching morals, tolerance, acceptance, etc.

[buzkirk]

This whole question is just wrong.

[JAX]

Where's Highland Ranch?

I can't believe this is worthy of news print. Schools are not responsible for raising children - that's Mommy and Daddy's job. Let them deal with it and school should just proceed on with thier duties. If the kid wants to be called "she" and the parents support it then simply do it.

This is interesting because my wife was watching some special on the psychological history of transgenders and in most cases transgenders noted they wanted to cross-over for as long as they could remember (childhood). Weather I agree with this kids decision or not doesn't matter, it seems to me that while he can't vote, drive, buy smokes, etc...he may actually have a clue as to what he/she is doing in this case.

Just my two cents though...

[Newby]

Sorry Jax but I do not agree. He is 8 or 9yrs old. He hasn't even started to hit puberty yet. Most likely it is a phase and when old pal testosterone kicks in things will change. By then it will most likely be too late for him to be accepted by his peers.

I imagine this will also be very distracting to the children in the classroom. There class time will be affected because of this one child. Why are we as a culture so careful to protect the individual and not worry about the well being of the group?

It is totally up to the parents to raise their child as they see fit. But don't expect others to change their habits, beliefs, philosophies, or normal behavior so you can practice yours.

I could go on about this, but honestly no one likes reading an eight page post.

JMHO

[JAX]

Originally Posted by Newby

Sorry Jax but I do not agree. He is 8 or 9yrs old. He hasn't even started to hit puberty yet. Most likely it is a phase and when old pal testosterone kicks in things will change. By then it will most likely be too late for him to be accepted by his peers.

I see your point and can't say that I disagree. I agree, I don't think a child that young should be given the responsibility of making this kind of decision. But it is possible that he "knows" what he wants and at some point in his life he'd cross-over.

As you said though, it's on the parents to handle this situation not the school, press, or us Monday morning quarterbacks.

[dozenmonkeyz-cr]

I look at it as parents sometimes need to protect our kids even from themselves. I don't think the kid can "know" if he is a buddist (sp), or if he likes to drink beer, or if he's a republican or democrat. Children do not have the life experience to recognize potential life long impact of all their decisions so we need to be there to corral the randomness of their actions. Like Newby said, right or wrong, the consequences of this situation could likely have VERY deep emotional/social/psyco impact that the kid can't possibly realize. But I agree that us message boarders can only speculate until we're in the position ourselves.

[flipperwhite]

the world is full of stupid people. and "unisex bathrooms"? boy (no pun intended) I would have love those in high school!!

[FaerieFyre]

First of all, I really can't believe this discussion is actually taking place on a discussion forum for cigars, but... I'm doing research for a friend and found out they're talking about the same article on the official Washington Redskins forum, so I shouldn't be surprised.

First off, introduction: Hi, I'm a transgendered intersexual. For those geniuses who don't use Google, the translation would be something akin to "hermaphrodite" (even though the term is severely outdated and derrogatory, thank you). I know, from personal experience that they DO perform genital surgery at very young ages (to "correct" visible ambiguity). Often, THEY do not consider the ramifications of such actions and what sort of impact the decision will have on the child and its life from that day forward.

Many intersexuals have a lot in common with transsexuals. From the moment they are self-aware, they know they don't fit into whatever mold society has set up for them. I, myself, was raised as a male child. Nothing could be further from the truth. I KNEW I was a girl from my earliest memories. I did not "think" I was, I did not "wish" I was... I KNEW I was. The confusion came into play when I was treated as something I wasn't. It got worse when puberty started rearing its ugly head. No, testosterone doesn't make everything better for the transsexual/intersexual child. It makes matters worse, actually.

This child has a rare opportunity to be raised right. She has parents who genuinely GIVE A DAMN. They researched, they studied, they went to multiple psychotherapists (both for and against this decision). They weighed all the options and considered the future. Ultimately, they decided to give their child happiness. In the end, isn't that what we ALL want for our kids?

Y'know, only Americans would consider this "news-worthy", anyway. Case in point: Kim Petras grew up in Germany. She attended school as a boy until the same year as this child and then transitioned to a girl in the same school. No one talked about it and it didn't even make the local news. In essence, the world didn't end. The only reason anyone talks about this extraordinary young woman is the fact that she is a recording artist and accomplished the feat of obtaining her surgery at 16 years old, therefore becoming the youngest transsexual (recorded) to have surgery in the history of transsexuals. THAT's what was news worthy.

My question is: Why is America so "backwoods"? Why is this even an issue? If we're truly the "land of the free", then why can't we leave this little girl alone and move on with our own lives?

[madurolover]

This thread is a year and a half old.

So what kind of cigars do you like?

[Delsana]

Originally Posted by FaerieFyre

First of all, I really can't believe this discussion is actually taking place on a discussion forum for cigars, but... I'm doing research for a friend and found out they're talking about the same article on the official Washington Redskins forum, so I shouldn't be surprised.

First off, introduction: Hi, I'm a transgendered intersexual. For those geniuses who don't use Google, the translation would be something akin to "hermaphrodite" (even though the term is severely outdated and derrogatory, thank you). I know, from personal experience that they DO perform genital surgery at very young ages (to "correct" visible ambiguity). Often, THEY do not consider the ramifications of such actions and what sort of impact the decision will have on the child and its life from that day forward.

Many intersexuals have a lot in common with transsexuals. From the moment they are self-aware, they know they don't fit into whatever mold society has set up for them. I, myself, was raised as a male child. Nothing could be further from the truth. I KNEW I was a girl from my earliest memories. I did not "think" I was, I did not "wish" I was... I KNEW I was. The confusion came into play when I was treated as something I wasn't. It got worse when puberty started rearing its ugly head. No, testosterone doesn't make everything better for the transsexual/intersexual child. It makes matters worse, actually.

This child has a rare opportunity to be raised right. She has parents who genuinely GIVE A DAMN. They researched, they studied, they went to multiple psychotherapists (both for and against this decision). They weighed all the options and considered the future. Ultimately, they decided to give their child happiness. In the end, isn't that what we ALL want for our kids?

Y'know, only Americans would consider this "news-worthy", anyway. Case in point: Kim Petras grew up in Germany. She attended school as a boy until the same year as this child and then transitioned to a girl in the same school. No one talked about it and it didn't even make the local news. In essence, the world didn't end. The only reason anyone talks about this extraordinary young woman is the fact that she is a recording artist and accomplished the feat of obtaining her surgery at 16 years old, therefore becoming the youngest transsexual (recorded) to have surgery in the history of transsexuals. THAT's what was news worthy.

My question is: Why is America so "backwoods"? Why is this even an issue? If we're truly the "land of the free", then why can't we leave this little girl alone and move on with our own lives?

We haven't been the "Land of the Free" ... ever. If you think about it.

But this country still maintains its position in the top.

[tmanqz]

I wouldnt touch this topic with a ten foot pole.(pun intended)

[FaerieFyre]

Originally Posted by madurolover

This thread is a year and a half old.

So what kind of cigars do you like?

Geez... I didn't even realize it... *facepalm* I was looking for stuff about the most RECENT news. This year, a girl in Nebraska will be going into 3rd grade. She's trans. So... I was digging and found some old news...

Honestly, I don't really smoke that much. My fiancee does and he's quite the connesseur of them. All I know is that Cubans are quite nice, Haitians don't cut it... though the Honduras variety is a close second. Other than that, you might as well ask me about NASCAR because I have equal amount of knowledge.

[madurolover]

Originally Posted by FaerieFyre

Geez... I didn't even realize it... *facepalm* I was looking for stuff about the most RECENT news. This year, a girl in Nebraska will be going into 3rd grade. She's trans. So... I was digging and found some old news...

Honestly, I don't really smoke that much. My fiancee does and he's quite the connesseur of them. All I know is that Cubans are quite nice, Haitians don't cut it... though the Honduras variety is a close second. Other than that, you might as well ask me about NASCAR because I have equal amount of knowledge.

LOL No problem!

BTW, do you think maybe you could change that font color? It is killing my eyes to read it.

[Delsana]

*Note to self*

Use pink font.