chuck norris!!!...

[bigpoppapuff-cl]

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

[Marlboro Cigars-cl]

Funny.

[Lok17]

When I used to play world of warcraft all the time, there was a server wide obsession with chuck norris. We constantly said a few of these and all kinds of other jokes. It was stupid, but damn funny

[dravensghost]

chuck norris is the man
nuff said

[tx_tuff]

Chuck who?

[bigpoppapuff-cl]

Originally Posted by tx_tuff

Chuck who?

chuck norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana


Chuck Norris is so strong that not only does he hold the whole world in his hands, but he also holds the holds the entire univerise.

There is a little Chuck Norris in everyone. No really. Listen to your inner Chuck Norris and roundhouse kick yourself in the face.

Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants.

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands outside and dares it to grow.


Chuck Norris doesn't THROW UP after a long night of partying...He THROWS DOWN!!!


When Chuck Norris does Push up's he doesn't push himself up he pushes the world down

Chuck Norris invented the phrase" put a foot in your mouth"

When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat he dosn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised

When God sneezes, people say Chuck Norris bless you

Chuck Norris knows what Bo doesn't

Originally Chuck Norris was to play froto in Lord of the Rings but turned the job down cause only a panzy needs 3 movies to destroy jewlery. Also Chuck Norris was originally cast to play the lead role on the show 24. The producers had to fire him after he killed all of the terrorists in 10 seconds.

Do u know how giraffes were born? Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a horse in the neck!

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who never met Chuck Norris!

Who would win the race between Batman and Superman to the moon???Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he goes killing

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

[sysrock]

The Boogey Man is afraid that Chuck Norris hides in his closet.

Chuck Norris knows what Bo doesn't

and by the way, it's true, Chuck Norris does know what I don't

[bigpoppapuff-cl]

If you want to send Chuck Norris a letter, just write “Chuck Norris” on the envelope and drop it in any mailbox. Don’t worry; he’ll get it.

The “C-section” is named after Chuck Norris, for when he roundhouse kicked himself through his mother’s stomach.

Chuck Norris fought and won a battle at the Red Sea, which was originally a blue sea.

Chuck Norris can believe it’s not butter.

Chuck Norris puts the fun in funerals.


Chuck Norris makes his internal organs pay rent.

Chuck Norris eats coal and poops diamonds.

The last child who dressed up as Chuck Norris for Halloween came home with three dozen 5-course gourmet meals, a 200 foot square block of the purest gold, and four human sacrifices. ( Editor’s note: I know who I am dressing up as for Halloween)

According to Einstein’s theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you into yesterday.

Lemmings run off cliffs because of Chuck Norris.

Trains stop at a Chuck Norris crossing.

Chuck Norrises’ laundry sorts itself.

The fences at the zoo are to keep the animals safe from Chuck Norris.

. At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris, but Chuck Norris

[Cigar Jack-cl]

Originally Posted by Lok17

When I used to play world of warcraft all the time, there was a server wide obsession with chuck norris. We constantly said a few of these and all kinds of other jokes. It was stupid, but damn funny

We referred to that as Barren's Chat... You'd spend hours plodding along from place to place so you had time to kill...

[Slow Triathlete]

These are awesome!!

[Dustinl-cl]

I hear that Chuck Norris is sueing NBC over the copywrited names of his legs.....Law and Order.

[brianhewitt-cl]

Originally Posted by Dustinl

I hear that Chuck Norris is sueing NBC over the copywrited names of his legs.....Law and Order.

This is an awesome thread. Good timing too. I just saw this commercial featuring the man the other night for the first time:

[Dustinl-cl]

Chuch Norris doesn't sleep........he waits.



DL

[mikedaddy]

Originally Posted by Cigar Jack

We referred to that as Barren's Chat... You'd spend hours plodding along from place to place so you had time to kill...

Yeah I am familiar with that too, played for two years started at public release, quit right as TBC came out. Completed ZG/MC/AQ/BWL/and some naxx bosses before I quit.. I miss it, but it took up way too much of my life.

[bigpoppapuff-cl]

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600.

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.