Crappy Bad Sad News!!

[Stogie]

Originally Posted by patefengreen

Holy moley man! I knew your thoughts on this, Stogie, as you made these exact comments in one of your emails during the Arganese debacle. However, I never mentioned it to anyone because I was embarrased for you. Now I see there was no reason for me to protect you. Congratulations, you have just won the award for male chauvinist jerk of the year. Seriously, all I can say is wow.

You know, you go to great lengths to protect your advertisers and coddle them so they won't hear anything derogatory (removing posts and trying to head off unpleasant comments before they come out on the forum), but then to throw your wife under the bus like that makes me truly wonder what is most important in your life. If you could only have one thing what would it be? Your wife and family, your job, the forum, or hob-nobing w/cigar manufacturers. I'm really baffled by your comments. Charles IS being a man. He's trying to find a happy medium in his marriage. Kudos to him for being such a big man in trying to work it out instead of just saying, "I'm the man here, go cook my supper woman!" I'm simply baffled, simply baffled.

Not throwing her under the bus, I love her and take care of her. She takes care of me just like I said. Not the first time I have heard the word "chauvinist" and will probably not be the last. I am what I am and I make no excuses.

[Darren's Godiva]

Daniel, I agree with what Rhonda said. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and based on what you posted "Sorry not trying to offend" only makes me believe that you don't care if you offend. "I am what I am and I make no excuses." You deleted posts on one of my threads because they were insensitive to women. Yet you make an insensitive comment and its okay. I am sure we are not the only SOTLs that you have offended and there are probably plenty of BOTLs out there just as upset. But, you are right you make "no excuses".

[zion698]

Originally Posted by Stogie

Not throwing her under the bus, I love her and take care of her. She takes care of me just like I said. Not the first time I have heard the word "chauvinist" and will probably not be the last. I am what I am and I make no excuses.

Come on brother we can't sit and smoke with the sisters on one hand .... And then on the other hand .... once the smoking is done tell them to get back in the kitchen.
I'm not trying to win any points here, but that's just not right. I have a two daughter ... and I don't want any man treating her like that.

[ctiicda]

Originally Posted by Darren's Godiva

Daniel, I agree with what Rhonda said. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and based on what you posted "Sorry not trying to offend" only makes me believe that you don't care if you offend. "I am what I am and I make no excuses." You deleted posts on one of my threads because they were insensitive to women. Yet you make an insensitive comment and its okay. I am sure we are not the only SOTLs that you have offended and there are probably plenty of BOTLs out there just as upset. But, you are right you make "no excuses".

Woooaahhh this not what i was going for... I think every household is run diffrently. My wife would not stand for what stogie said but if stogie's wife and him are happy and that works in their house then good for them... they have something i dont have right now and that is a happy household lol. I do not agree with him obviously but i do agree with the statement i am who i am no excuses. If someone does not like me then unfortunately that is their loss. I do not run into this often but when i do it is ok we are all not made to be best friends. That being said one of the good things about my wife is she is very strong willed and the husband is responsible for the house and dishes and the kids as well as the wife. Some may see that as a pansy guy but hey we are in the 21st century and she also make more money than i do... I am ok with that I will be a teacher and she is very proud of that even though it does not pay alot! Whatever, I was just trying to get some opions on how to maybe make this work... not to turn people against each other. I appreciate every opinion I have gotten on this subject and weigh each one with the way my life is and like I said Stogie's would not work for me but if it does for him and his wife then i do not fault him at all.

[ctiicda]

Originally Posted by zion698

Come on brother we can't sit and smoke with the sisters on one hand .... And then on the other hand .... once the smoking is done tell them to get back in the kitchen.
I'm not trying to win any points here, but that's just not right. I have a two daughter ... and I don't want any man treating her like that.

Dang peopel I don't think Stogie was saying he slaped his wife when she left the Kitchen. sounded to me like he was saying she does the house stuff and he does the working income stuff. Nothing wrong with that if it makes them happy!!!!! I do not agree with him but I certainly am not gonna knock him for what works in his household.

[zion698]

Originally Posted by ctiicda

Woooaahhh this not what i was going for... I think every household is run diffrently. My wife would not stand for what stogie said but if stogie's wife and him are happy and that works in their house then good for them... they have something i dont have right now and that is a happy household lol. I do not agree with him obviously but i do agree with the statement i am who i am no excuses. If someone does not like me then unfortunately that is their loss. I do not run into this often but when i do it is ok we are all not made to be best friends. That being said one of the good things about my wife is she is very strong willed and the husband is responsible for the house and dishes and the kids as well as the wife. Some may see that as a pansy guy but hey we are in the 21st century and she also make more money than i do... I am ok with that I will be a teacher and she is very proud of that even though it does not pay alot! Whatever, I was just trying to get some opions on how to maybe make this work... not to turn people against each other. I appreciate every opinion I have gotten on this subject and weigh each one with the way my life is and like I said Stogie's would not work for me but if it does for him and his wife then i do not fault him at all.

I hope you guys can work it out Charles.

[Stogie]

Originally Posted by zion698

Come on brother we can't sit and smoke with the sisters on one hand .... And then on the other hand .... once the smoking is done tell them to get back in the kitchen.
I'm not trying to win any points here, but that's just not right. I have a two daughter ... and I don't want any man treating her like that.

Very true and most fathers would not want their daughters married to a man with my thought. I smoke with women all the time but I am married to one that has been with me since she was sixteen. I told her I would always take care of her and have. I did not want a career woman like some guys do. From day one the plan has always been for her to stay home and take care of the household and babies.

Women that are willing to do this are not common in todays society. Now women want to work and build a career. Not saying that is bad at all, more power to them. I just run my household a bit different. I love coming home to a clean house and food on the table. Knowing my son is taken care of is the only thing that matters to me. His mother is teaching him to be sensitive toward others feelings. I am just not a very sensitive person, I know it.

I value the womens thoughts on this subject especially if they side with the men.

[zion698]

Originally Posted by ctiicda

Dang peopel I don't think Stogie was saying he slaped his wife when she left the Kitchen. sounded to me like he was saying she does the house stuff and he does the working income stuff. Nothing wrong with that if it makes them happy!!!!! I do not agree with him but I certainly am not gonna knock him for what works in his household.

My point was simply that the sisters especially the ones on this forum deserve a level of respect, and I thought his original comment lacked that. How he runs his household is none of my business. Stogie's a good guy no doubt, I just disagreed with the comment. I am in no position to judge him as a husband, etc.

[Rah55]

Originally Posted by ctiicda

Dang peopel I don't think Stogie was saying he slaped his wife when she left the Kitchen. sounded to me like he was saying she does the house stuff and he does the working income stuff. Nothing wrong with that if it makes them happy!!!!! I do not agree with him but I certainly am not gonna knock him for what works in his household.

Really guys. A division of labor that is acceptable to the partners involved should be acceptable to everyone else. My wife works. I would prefer that she didn't but, I have to admit, it makes life easier and she wants to do it so OK. However, whenever she gets frustrated with her job, I do remind her that it's not absolutely necessary!!!!!

[mitro-cl]

While I applaud you for your concern and wanting to find a solution, the fact is that a marriage is 50/50 and if only one person is trying to compromise it won't work. You can go ahead and quit cigars all together... and then what? She's happy (for now) and you aren't. IMO , as long as the concern isn't money then she is being completely unreasonable, and needs to realize that. Just because she is strong willed doesn't mean you have to be weak. You have just as much right to happiness as she does.

[baboruger]

Like i said earlier, I think there must be something underlying these issues. If it's not the money or the time with her, then what is it? Is she just being bit*hy, I would guess not, and that the real issues is something completely other than cigars...

[mitro-cl]

Originally Posted by Stogie

I just run my household a bit different.

YOU run it, huh? More power to ya, I guess, I prefer sharing the decisions/responsibilities with the person who I love.

[patefengreen]

Originally Posted by Stogie

I value the womens thoughts on this subject especially if they side with the men.

That's just precious! Good luck with all that.

[Stogie]

Originally Posted by mitro

YOU run it, huh? More power to ya, I guess, I prefer sharing the decisions/responsibilities with the person who I love.

We make decisions together, I always ask her what she thinks. Believe me I know there is no other woman on the planet that would put up with me like she does. She is great.

I simply say do not let a woman tell you what you can and can not do.

[SMOKING HANDSOME DUDE]

Charles I have read everyones opinion about your situtation. The opinions expressed I think are honest and to the point. In the end it is up to you to decide what you need to do. I hope that you will remain a BOTL, but you wife is more important than cigars. She loves you very much and wants the best for you.What I am saying is that it is all about compromise. She comes first.