Puff Cigar Discussion Forums

ctiicda · 08-10-2008, 10:22 PM

So as each day passes it looks like my love for cigars is about have to stop... I am really close to putting my entire stash humidor included up for sale. My wife just is completely hardcore opposed to it and it seems to be a major issue any time I enjoy a cigar. This will likely mean that I will be quiting my job and getting rid of everything cigar related. I keep hoping it does nto come to this but it is taking the fun away from it. This just sux and needless to say this has become a shitty night... sorry everyone i just had to vent I am really kinda sad at the moment.

suckapuff · 08-10-2008, 10:26 PM

My only advice brother is moderation. Talk with her and hopefully come to a compromise. She might feel that you are spending more time with your hobby than her. Always remember that this is a hobby and she is your wife. You should ALWAYS spend more time with her than your hobbies.

Dustinl-cl · 08-10-2008, 10:31 PM

Wow Charles. Sorry to hear about the trouble. As a preacher on this forum once said to me: "Happy wife = Happy life".

Hopefully you both will come to a compromise. Good luck brother. We all wish you the best.

DL

ctiicda · 08-10-2008, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vankleekkw

My only advice brother is moderation. Talk with her and hopefully come to a compromise. She might feel that you are spending more time with your hobby than her. Always remember that this is a hobby and she is your wife. You should ALWAYS spend more time with her than your hobbies.

Unfortunatley i do not do stuff half ass and she knows that! I spend a ton of time with her and have dropped from 5-6 times a week to 2-3 and it is not any better. It is once a month or less or she is unhappy! Not worth it anymore she is more important it just is not something i should have to choose

mrgatorman · 08-10-2008, 10:33 PM

Charles...Im sorry to hear that...Maybe put into storage and keep it out of sight for awhile. I dont know the stash you have, but maybe if you keep it out of sight she may come around. Im really sorry to hear that. Comming from a person whos wife isnt to hip on it either. I did point out to her that im 6'2" 270lbs and have blood pressure of 120 over 80. thanks to my cigars.

Maybe you can send your sticks to someone you trust to store them for you. Just a thought. Maybe a family member or good friend.

The EVP · 08-10-2008, 11:04 PM

Why is she so against it? There are far more hobbies that are worse. My wife was opposed to it at first until I explained to her that, "I don't spend lots of money on designer clothes, I don't drop money on my car to make it all souped up (I drive a very basic Toyota Corolla CE), I don't go to the bar, I don't go out every weekend with the guys and blow money on things that guys typically will. Cigars are my stress-releif, it's my hobby, it's my relaxation and it's not putting us in debt as I only buy what I can afford to spend." Once I explained it to her that way, even though she does not like smoking, she was okay with it. Now she doesn't even mind sitting outside with me when I have one.

I know I'm going to be in the minority here and please don't take this personaly, but she needs to lighten up a bit. Unless it's a hobby that you can't afford and are going into debt over, then there is nothing wrong with it. I'm sure she has her own hobbies that are hers....she needs you to let you have your hobbies that are yours. It's not like you are asking her to participate in it, just accept that it's what you are into.

mitro-cl · 08-10-2008, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The EVP

Why is she so against it? There are far more hobbies that are worse. My wife was opposed to it at first until I explained to her that, "I don't spend lots of money on designer clothes, I don't drop money on my car to make it all souped up (I drive a very basic Toyota Corolla CE), I don't go to the bar, I don't go out every weekend with the guys and blow money on things that guys typically will. Cigars are my stress-releif, it's my hobby, it's my relaxation and it's not putting us in debt as I only buy what I can afford to spend." Once I explained it to her that way, even though she does not like smoking, she was okay with it. Now she doesn't even mind sitting outside with me when I have one.

I know I'm going to be in the minority here and please don't take this personaly, but she needs to lighten up a bit. Unless it's a hobby that you can't afford and are going into debt over, then there is nothing wrong with it. I'm sure she has her own hobbies that are hers....she needs you to let you have your hobbies that are yours. It's not like you are asking her to participate in it, just accept that it's what you are into.

I couldn't have said it better. I can understand a wife not being fond of the hobby, but you gotta have your own escapes.

goyankees · 08-10-2008, 11:25 PM

Charles,

I know we don't know each other. I do know though you love cigars. I do know you spend a lot of money on cigars, I do know you sent out well over 100.00 in postage worth of bombs, the equivalent of 4 boxes of cigars... Now with that said and done...

Is it the actual smoke she is upset about or the amount of money you spend?
Did she know you smoked cigars prior to getting married?

My girlfriend, soon to be fiancée has often had to take my hand and tell me to slow down on my cigar spending. I get a little mad she won't let me spend, and she gets mad at me for spending.. but after I look at it, my monthly cigar allowance was over 1000.00 a month. That my friend is an addiction.

Now that I cut back on spending, and I don't spend 5+ days at the local B&M she is happy, and even surprises me with a stick. Today she brought me an ESG.

A solid relationship is built on compromise. I hope you two find it. I also hope and pray that the cigars isn't an excuse for her to pick on something....

I hope my rambling email made some sense

Barry

ctiicda · 08-10-2008, 11:34 PM

I spend my extra money in cigars...NOTHING comes out of the account! If hse new how much i spent she ould be more mad lol... except she does not ask because i do not pull from our money,. it is the physical smoking. she will not kiss me after i smoke even if i chew 3 packs of gumm brush 5 times and mouthwash 10. So she turns that into me chosing to smoke over be with her... like i said i have dropped to 2-3 times a week usually on days i work... and still we have this problem... i could smoke every couple weeks and that would just piss me off... but the money is not the issue as like i said what i spend on cigars is not part of our money it is my play allowance persay... i could spend it on golf and boom no arguements it is just the smoking part

goyankees · 08-10-2008, 11:37 PM

Ctiicda, does she smoke cigarettes? If yes refuse to kiss her then

I

big04deuce · 08-10-2008, 11:39 PM

Sorry to hear about it bro. You got some good advice here. I would hate for you to have to give up a hobby. Hopefully you can work something out.

ctiicda · 08-10-2008, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nyisles

Ctiicda, does she smoke cigarettes? If yes refuse to kiss her then

I

Of course not... and to boot she is super tight with money and does not spend hardly anything on herself for fun.... it srives me nuts i beg her to find a hobby to spend money and she just doesnt... urrr so frustrating!

TravelingJ-cl · 08-10-2008, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ctiicda

she will not kiss me after i smoke even if i chew 3 packs of gumm brush 5 times and mouthwash 10.

Either you are really exaggerating, or she is being very irrational.

On the 4th of July I passed out smokes to a bunch of the guys. When they were done, I started to hear about what they had to do, to keep the wife happy. One guy can only smoke outside, or in the basement using a window fan. He also has to wash his hands, brush his teeth, put on fresh cologne, and then he can kiss/talk to her. Another cut his mustache really short to help keep the smoke smell out.

Luckily, mine doesn't care AT ALL, and is fairly supportive of the habit (lately she actually suggested I open a B&M)...but just ask your wife to show you any medical proof of how it's actually bad for you! If you can't even have 3 sticks a week at work, she is going a little over the top ) =