Compost Man - The Beginning

[PerpetualNoob]

My life is a virtual monument to procrastination, but I'm the first to admit it sometimes backfires on me. This would be one of those times.

For years, I've been dumping my grass clippings in a big pile by the back fence, under the assumption that there would be at least some natural decomposition. A few days ago, I dug down to the bottom of it, only to find that there has been almost none at all. The only thing that shows much sign of decomposing is my fence. For most of that time, I had been meaning to load it all up in the truck and haul it out to the local composting facility, out by the airport. Alas, I have waited too long. The operator got into some kind of tiff with the city a while back, and they decided not to renew his lease, apparently in order to teach us all a lesson about what happens when you say disparaging things about City Hall. Even if you're doing something we all basically agree is a good thing, "they" will inevitably win the argument, and if everyone else has to suffer for them to make their point, that's just acceptable collateral damage.

So, I've had to go to Plan B and build my own compost pile. Anyone can look stuff up on Google, but I decided that's the wussy way and I'm just going to wing it and see what happens. I bought a couple rolls of 1/2" hardware cloth from Lowe's. They're 3' wide and 10' long. I folded a couple of inches over on each end, then "stitched" the ends together using the approximately seven miles of wire they used to tie the rolls up for packaging. Then I filled it with alternating layers of the grass clippings and leaves, soaking each one with water before adding the next layer. The dent I made in the clippings pile was frankly pretty pathetic. I maybe cleared out six feet of it. I've only made one so far, but I'm estimating I have enough to make 4-6 more. I'm planning to build the other one this afternoon. I think I'll probably wait until Spring to do any more of them, by which time I will have even more leaves and grass.

So, due to my dedication to slacking, I now find myself in the composting bidness, so to speak. I'm seriously ignorant, so I don't even know if this is going to work, but how hard can it be to get something to rot? I do it all the time in the refrigerator, and that's without even trying! I hope it does work. I've got several low spots in my yard that need to be filled, and the very thought of buying dirt from someone offends my inherent Scottish thriftiness genes. OK, it's not the most exciting thing anyone ever wrote about, but here are some pictures, just in case you're dying to see them.

[rottenzombie]

Good luck

[gjcab09]

Originally Posted by PerpetualNoob

... Anyone can look stuff up on Google, but I decided that's the wussy way and I'm just going to wing it and see what happens...

My kind of innovator! A true American! My faith is restored!

[Stench]

Pour a bottle or two of beer (seriously) on it to provide some yeast culture to start the process.

You have to turn it some to aerate it (need oxygen to rot right) - every spring/fall?

I've got a compost pile I made out of old pallets...too lazy to load it usually. I burn most of my old brush and stuff, LOL!

If all else fails burn baby burn!

[tmanqz]

WOW! Looks just like my backyard. Thanks for the great idea.

[PerpetualNoob]

Well, I got the second one made and loaded up. It came out a little lop-sided, but I figured out how to make it in about 1/3 the time. I still folded the ends over, but then I lined them up and clamped them to my work bench. Having both hands free made it go a lot faster. I also kept the wire pieces down to a couple of feet long, and that kept it from getting tangles and kinks in it, which also helped speed things along.

So now I'm helping to save the planet, which the chicks totally dig, plus, if I ever have to storm a castle for some reason, I have my own pitchfork now. Believe me, you don't ever want to just show up at one of those and then have to borrow a pitchfork. The other peasants can be pretty cruel. "Oh, look. It's Pierre, and again he has no pitchfork! HA HA HA !!! What a fromage!!! HA HA HA!!!"

I was thinking the fresh leaves would be enough to kick-start it, but the beer is actually a good idea. I have a few that have gone skunky on me anyway.

[PerpetualNoob]

Went out yesterday to put my tools away and give the compost a drink, only to get two surprises. One, I forgot to drain the hose, so it was just 50' of solid ice, so no drink. Two, both piles had compacted themselves by 1/3. I was expecting this, but I thought it would be over the course of months, not a week. I went ahead and topped them both off.

My whole yard is pretty much a disaster. Humps, lumps, dips, car ruts, mushrooms, clover, a dozen different kinds of grasses and weeds, where there's anything growing at all. For years, I've heard from the old-timers that the best time to put down grass seed is "right before it snows". The theory is, the snow cover keeps the birds from eating all your seeds, and the Spring melt gives them plenty of water so they'll germinate. Makes sense to me.

The problem being, of course, you never know when that's going to be. Now we're here on 1 November and there's still no snow, so it can't be much longer. It was snowing pretty hard a few days ago, but the ground was still too warm for it to stick. It's down in the mid-20's now, but since it's sunny and I was outside anyway, I went ahead and put down about half a bag of grass seed. We'll see how that works out. I'll do it every year if it seems like it's helping at all.

I'd love to have the whole yard scraped and graded, re-pour the front walk and stairs, then hydro-seed the whole damned thing, but that's many, many thousands out of my income bracket, unless I spread it out over about 10 years.

[MrJerry]

Don't forget to dump your coffee grounds on the pile...make a great compost!

[2Curious]

Am I just being a silly girl...?
Not sure I understand the boycott on Googling or even getting a book (if you want to go old-school), on how to build compost.

Excellent idea, by the way!

[madurolover]

If you sprinkle a little bit of lime on the layers it will help speed up the process.

[gjcab09]

Originally Posted by 2Curious

Am I just being a silly girl...?
Not sure I understand the boycott on Googling or even getting a book (if you want to go old-school), on how to build compost.

Excellent idea, by the way!

It's a guy thing.

[fiddlegrin]

Snahahahaahaahaahaahaahaaaa!!

Just found this thread for the first time and I gotta say....

I'm a big fan of your writing! Can't wait for the paperback edition to hit the streets!

btw another portion of the usual equation for compost is heat buildup. We can do this a number of ways, but a black tarp is one of them... then periodically removing it and aerating the pile re- humidify and cover etc.

Seems like the rate of dcom. would slow down quite a bit in your winter mode... but please let us know

Best wishes for a hot pile of rot!

[Supercomp]

Originally Posted by 2Curious

Am I just being a silly girl...?
Not sure I understand the boycott on Googling or even getting a book (if you want to go old-school), on how to build compost.

Excellent idea, by the way!

Similar to when I refuse to stop and ask for directions when I am lost. LOL

[PerpetualNoob]

Originally Posted by gjcab09

It's a guy thing.

Exactly!! As one of my friends says, "It ain't rocket surgery!"

[2Curious]

Originally Posted by PerpetualNoob

Exactly!! As one of my friends says, "It ain't rocket surgery!"

- Love that quote! Gotta remember it.

Originally Posted by fiddlegrin

Best wishes for a hot pile of rot!

- LMAO !!!

Originally Posted by Supercomp

Similar to when I refuse to stop and ask for directions when I am lost. LOL

- Do Smarphones or GPS or Google Maps count as "stopping to ask" these days?

Gots a video for you fine gentlemen (no sarcasm), that supports your natural instincts...
Men and Directions!#

Cheers!