New Pipe Smokers - Don't forget to point!

[perogee]

Or how about a "who, me?"

[hyper_dermic]

when your thinking of where to point, you can slowly move the tip of the pipe around in a small circle, then when you decide, you snap the tip out of its circle and onto the target...

e.g.
"which color looks better"

"good question... Hmmm Uhhhhhh (pipe tip begins to slowly move in SMALL circles.. less than an inch diameter) Uhhhhhh, THAT ONE! (pipe springs into action, picking the PERFECT color)"

I find the small circles mezmorises the person, when the pipe finally snaps onto target the person is under its spell, and they are inclined to agree with any decision.

remember, SLOW and small circles... i tend to do no more than 3 circles MAX before deciding. 2 is my prefered number of circles..

its a small flourish.. if the circles are too big, too fast, or too many then it just looks cheesy.. but one or 2 small slow circles are barely noticeable, but they make the point that much more powerful...

This is an intermediate technique, so i reccomend practicing it in a mirror before using in public.. its all about being subtle, you draw the attention to the pipe without letting the person know it... then as soon as their attention is focused, the PIPE DECIDES! and so it must be!

ahh yes, looking good while smoking a pipe is half of the art in itself.. one must dress the part.. and act the part..
learn your pointing tecnhiques.. they are very important... great thread..


-hyp

Ok, heres one more, a bit easier..

Use the points to accent words...
For this i like to use either a hammer/chopping action
or a bouncing action..

e.g.

"That coffee i roasted last night was the BEST i've HAD in YEARS!"
so you start with an indirect point. pipe is held in left hand, slightly out (a foot and a half away from body) with tip pointing across to the right and slightly up.
When you reach the word "BEST" you begin the action.
the hammer action goes up and down 3 beats, BEST HAD YEARS.. again, its not a LARGE motion.. the tip only travels a few inches up and down.. a variation would be to poke on the word YEARS.. updown, updown then backfoward to accent YEARS. but i find that to be a bit much, i feel the 3 hammer motions are much classier...

The bouncing motion is another one of my favorites..
Start the sentence in the same resting position, then when you reach "best" peform a single hammer motion, when you say "ive" you begin the bounce motion you move the pipe up and to the right then bring it down when you say the word you wish to accent, in this case "HAD", then bring it back up on the word "in" and repeat the motion for "YEARS" The Tip of the pipe follows the motion like a bouncing ball bouncing its way across a sentence.. like in those singalong videos...

If you like talking with your hands, the pipe is an amazing tool...



-hyp

[TheTraveler]

Excellent advice, hyper_dermic. You've had some time in practice of these arts, it seems!

All the pipe newbies here are getting some great advice on this thread - remember what you've learned, young Padawans, and the Force (of pipe pointing) will be with you.

[fiveqs]

Originally Posted by Rolando

I just want to give them something to look forward to.

There is another beginner move but it is highly controversial. It is for pipe smokers with beards. It requires holding a pipe with one hand in your mouth while stroking your chin contemplatively with the other. The anti-smoke n stroke camp say that it is too much going on and I tend to agree. The pro smoke n stroke say the anti people don't like it because they can't pull it off similiar to walking and chewing gum argument.

To the pro people I say "Bite me".

I feel the same about the smoke n pull maneuver that is done with moustaches.

These are actually often misinterpreted (by intention of the smoker), and highly advanced techniques, employed by those of us with rather prodigious beards. They are used to minimize pain and embarrassment resulting from accidentally lighting your beard or mustache on fire. It often takes years of experience and a whole lot of reps to refine your technique to the point where folks nearby don't realize what's going on and just interpret your reactions as a casual response to conversation. It involves proper breathing, not gripping the smoldering fur too tightly to avoid burning ones fingers, as well as speeding up reaction times to minimize the loss to the aforementioned fur.
So the next time you see a pipe smoker stroking his beard or mustache, take an extra whiff for the acrid smell of burning hair. Because he may not be contemplating the universe... it may just be his well trained response to fear.
Paul Q

[Arizona]

Originally Posted by perogee

I think of this as my "over yonder".

Yes... Precisely and by the way a perfectly executed technique!

[TheTraveler]

Originally Posted by perogee

Or how about a "who, me?"

Hey, your grass isn't dead!

[Lord Wigglybottom]

Originally Posted by fiveqs

These are actually often misinterpreted (by intention of the smoker), and highly advanced techniques, employed by those of us with rather prodigious beards. They are used to minimize pain and embarrassment resulting from accidentally lighting your beard or mustache on fire. It often takes years of experience and a whole lot of reps to refine your technique to the point where folks nearby don't realize what's going on and just interpret your reactions as a casual response to conversation. It involves proper breathing, not gripping the smoldering fur too tightly to avoid burning ones fingers, as well as speeding up reaction times to minimize the loss to the aforementioned fur.
So the next time you see a pipe smoker stroking his beard or mustache, take an extra whiff for the acrid smell of burning hair. Because he may not be contemplating the universe... it may just be his well trained response to fear.
Paul Q

This is the maneuver I am most looking forward to perfecting some years from now when I am of an age that more suits the 'prodigious' beard that I am capable of growing. Unfortunately my last attempt a few years ago ended in tragedy - my face was just too young.

Also, I'm definitely going to test the decision making powers of the pipe on my girlfriend. Thanks for that one, hyper!

[Bald1]

I had a professor that said everyone should wear glasses, impaired vision or not, just so they could be taken off and pointed with.

If he had only known the power of pipe pointing our pipe smoking ranks may have swelled considrabley with the many students under his influence.

-Bryan

[AZrider]

I don't think I'm ready.

Earlier this week, while examining the stem of my pipe, I unknowingly performed a 'self point'. Imagine my distress as I realized I'd inadvertently directed everyone's attention to my face! I panicked and nearly performed a soft shoe to fill the void of expectation - but, instead, I pulled off a credible, if hasty, beard/mustache tug (I have a goatee). I then gave my best sage look, nodded, and returned to smoking my pipe, ignoring the attention of my onlookers until they gave up.

D'oh! It just occurred to me: I might have been able to perform a 'double point' and deflected the attention to something (or someone) else! I don't know. I feel like I'm playing with fire.

I'd better slow down.

[Hey Joe]

The look they were giving you was one of awe and respect, and acting as if you didnt notice only heightened the effect.

[Darth Smoker]

Proper Pipe Pointing is just not done right anymore. Think of it as "The Queen's English" It is not "old-fashioned" as some would have you believe, it is a DUTY of all pipe smokers, no matter their age, to have at least a rudimentary grasp of the Language of the Pipe.

Originally Posted by Rolando

If you have never known the joy of pointing at something with your pipe you should try it out. It is simple really but there is a proper technique... I mean you don't want to look foolish and do it wrong.

The stem should emerge from between your index finger and middle finger. Your index finger and thumb wrapped around the bowl when pointing at things where the pipe is straight or at things that are higher. When pointing at things lower you should slide your thumb up and place on the top of the bowl. Don't place your thumb over the hole it should rest comfortably on the edge of the bowl.

Once you have mastered the technique you are ready to point at things like the cool kids do.

Warning: Do not attempt pipe pointing if the bowl of your pipe is hot or when pointing might get you beaten up or shot. Also don't point when you are by yourself because you will just look crazy (like I did when drafting this post).

So will this be sticky-ed?

[Slow Triathlete]

Mr. Moo demonstrated this proper technique to me not too long ago at a herf. In order to add emphasis, throw a little knuckle in there as well!!

[Thisisme]

I'm still at the stage of making sure that I don't drop the pipe...Once I have that down, I'll start thinking about pointing

[ptrk626]

[quote=hyper_dermic;1884122]when your thinking of where to point, you can slowly move the tip of the pipe around in a small circle, then when you decide, you snap the tip out of its circle and onto the target...

So I read this thread... and wanting to fit in because I'm one of the new kids here, I try all the various techniques safely in the privacy of my office
in front of my computer screen. All went well. I tried a few techniques on the dog and he looked at me with a slightly tilted head. Eager to show off what I had learned I called my wife in to show her too. She seemed impressed until I got to Hyper Dermics technique. Following step by step with the "small circles and then the snap"... I sprayed tobacco juice onto my wife's favorite shirt. Need I say she wasn't happy?

[Darth Smoker]

To avoid CPS "Carpal Pipe Syndrome"

1) Stretch all muscle groups involved.
2) Avoid "Over-Pointing"
3) choose lighter weight pipes*
4) alternate between "The Circle" and "The Hammer" techniques

*you may look foolish if you are a large person pointing with too small of a pipe!