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This is a discussion on I'll apologize ahead of time for this one... within the Jokes Forum forums, part of the Everything But Cigars category; O J & The Devil One day in the future, O.J. Simpson has a heart-attack and dies. He immediately goes ...
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10-24-2007, 04:09 PM
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#1 |
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Fish Hooker
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I'll apologize ahead of time for this one...
O J & The Devil
One day in the future, O.J. Simpson has a heart-attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do; I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." O.J. thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dove in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell. "No," O.J. said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long." The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, this is no; I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented O.J. The devil opened a third door. Through it, O.J. saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. O.J. looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said . . . . . . (This is priceless) "OK, Monica, you're free to go."
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I've run out of sick days...tomorrow, I'm calling in dead! |
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10-24-2007, 04:24 PM
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Displaced Wild Monkey
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Re: I'll apologize ahead of time for this one...
 very nice!! |
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10-24-2007, 04:34 PM
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No longer a community member.
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Re: I'll apologize ahead of time for this one...
That was awesome!!!
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10-24-2007, 05:40 PM
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Elder Jungle Leader
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Re: I'll apologize ahead of time for this one...
Yikes... gives a whole new meaning to "The Juice."
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"When I have found... a weary brain soothed, and calm, refreshing sleep obtained by a cigar, I have felt grateful to God and have blessed His name" - Charles H. Spurgeon |
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10-24-2007, 05:51 PM
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Ann Coulter's Cabana Boy
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Re: I'll apologize ahead of time for this one...
I guess you might call this one a "hardy perennial."
George bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him... More Al Gore has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the Devil is waiting for him...More...
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"The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter." ~Winston Churchill |
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10-24-2007, 05:54 PM
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Fish Hooker
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Re: I'll apologize ahead of time for this one...
Wow, how did I miss those? Sooorrryyyy
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I've run out of sick days...tomorrow, I'm calling in dead! |
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10-28-2007, 11:27 AM
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Newbie in the ocean
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Re: I'll apologize ahead of time for this one...
I like it!
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10-28-2007, 11:48 AM
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#8 |
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Puffer Fish with some spikes
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Re: I'll apologize ahead of time for this one...
That was hillarious!!
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Freedom is NOT Free! 
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10-28-2007, 04:05 PM
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Evolving Lead Puffer Fish
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Re: I'll apologize ahead of time for this one...
One can only hope it actually happens
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They call it menopause because MAD COW was taken. 
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10-28-2007, 04:45 PM
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BBQ is not a verb!
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Re: I'll apologize ahead of time for this one...
Funny
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There are men here and there to whom the whole of life is like an after-dinner hour with a cigar; easy, pleasant, empty, perhaps enlivened by some fable of strife to be forgotten...-Joseph Conrad |
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10-28-2007, 05:53 PM
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#11 |
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Puffer Fish with many spikes
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Re: I'll apologize ahead of time for this one...
That was posted before but still brings a laugh.
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Jimmie the Mum 
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10-28-2007, 10:04 PM
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Keystone Son
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Re: I'll apologize ahead of time for this one...
Good one....
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10-28-2007, 10:41 PM
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Life is up in the air
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Re: I'll apologize ahead of time for this one...
Outstanding.
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 "A smoke and a pancake. You know, a flapjack and a cigarette? No? Cigar and a waffle? No? Pipe and a crepe? No? Bong and a blintz? No? Well, then there is no pleasing you." Goldmember |
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10-28-2007, 11:05 PM
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Gorilla under water
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Re: I'll apologize ahead of time for this one...
NICE!!!
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[SIZE=3]
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10-29-2007, 08:31 PM
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Huge Puffer Fish packed with spikes
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Re: I'll apologize ahead of time for this one...
Quote:
 
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I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.... Douglas Adams....
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I'll apologize ahead of time for this one...
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