The Pharmacy (Adult Humor)

[Hammerhead]

A West Texas cowboy walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.

The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and as she and her sister owned the store, there were no males employed there.

She then asked if she could help the gentleman. The cowpoke said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.

The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.

The old bronc-buster agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment, and I was wondering what you could give me for it."

The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."

When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and the absolute best we can do is, 1/3 ownership in the store, a company car, and $3,000 a month living expenses."

[carbonbased_al]

I'd find this funny if I hadn't actually seen guys suffering from this before. This happens from time to time with guys that have penile prothesis. Damned painful looking.

Yep, working at a hospital sucks.

[Hammerhead]

OH, dude, that was WAY too much information!!!!

[carbonbased_al]

Originally Posted by Hammerhead

OH, dude, that was WAY too much information!!!!

Well, do you know what the name of the most common prothesis is???

[SIZE=4]THE TITAN[/SIZE]


I kid you not.

[punch]

Originally Posted by carbonbased_al

I'd find this funny if I hadn't actually seen guys suffering from this before. This happens from time to time with guys that have penile prothesis. Damned painful looking.

Yep, working at a hospital sucks.

This is a clear T.M.I. event!

[Scott M]

Priapism

By Christopher Steidle, M.D.
WebMD Medical Reference from "The Impotence Sourcebook"

Priapism is the occurrence of any persistent erection for more than four hours duration in the absence of sexual stimulation. Priapism is named after Priapus, the Greek god of fertility, and the son of Aphrodite, the goddess of love. He was apparently an ugly, satyrlike man with enormous genitalia. He was the god of gardens, bees, goats, and sheep. According to the story, Priapus had a huge tongue, a fat belly, and his penis was so large that he was restricted to the position of scarecrow in the fields.

Most erections due to sexual stimulation never approach four to six hours. Priapism is not associated with sexual excitement, at least not initially, and the erection does not subside after ejaculation. Priapism can occur in all age groups, including newborns. Most cases of priapism are clustered between two age groups: between the ages of five to ten and twenty to fifty years. Priapism constitutes a true urologic emergency. Men often joke that they wish they could have a permanent erection, but in reality, men are extremely miserable when this actually happens.

...

The most common cause of priapism is pharmacological injection therapy, which far outshadows all currently known causes. Drug-related priapism includes those drugs used to treat psychotic type illnesses, including thorazine and chlorpromazine. Other more uncommon drugs include those used to treat high-blood pressure such as prazosin. Rare causes may also be related to cancers that can infiltrate the penis and prevent the outflow of blood.

... It is also important to check the rectum and the abdomen for evidence of unusual cancers and the other causes of priapism. ... The faster we can get the erection to subside, the better the outcome.

Once priapism and its source have been identified, it is categorized into two major types: low-flow priapism or ischemic, which means that little or no blood flow is getting to the penis and this lack can cause damage; or high-flow priapism, which is the result of trauma to the penis. In this case, there is actually a large amount of blood flow to the penis. Our first step after the careful history and physical examination is to obtain a blood-gas measurement of the blood from the penis. This provides a clue as to how long the condition has been present and how much damage has occurred. A small needle is placed in the penis; some of the blood is aspirated and then sent to a lab for determination. This will also help categorize whether the cause of the priapism is low flow or high flow.

.... Once the blood-gas measurement has been performed and the priapism is determined to be ischemic, or that in fact the penis has very poor blood flow, I then evacuate the old blood by aspirating through a small needle placed directly in the corporal body. This is done by first cleansing the area, then infiltrating the local anesthetic over the skin of the penis and placing the needle. I withdraw 50 to 150 ccs of old blood. This allows the penis to detumesce.

H.A. was a medical professional who had read about the treatment of erectile dysfunction with penile injections. He injected himself with a dose that far exceeded what he needed. He developed a rock-hard penis and enjoyed it for several hours. Unfortunately, he developed priapism. He was so embarrassed by this that he actually went for seven days before seeking medical help. The pain was excruciating, and he tried numerous treatments that he had read about in outdated medical journals including ice water enemas and injecting local anesthetic into the penis. The resulting erection was unsalvageable, and the patient was eventually left with a penis that was less than an inch long. The caveat to this scenario is early treatment for priapism is essential to prevent permanent loss of the penis.

......

Complications can and do occur during and after the treatment for priapism. These complications include:

-recurrence of priapism
-bleeding from the holes placed in the penis as a part of the shunting procedure
-infections
-skin necrosis
-infection of the corporal body
-infection of the skin around it
-damage to the urethra and the urine tube, including strictures
-holes between the urethra and the skin
-loss of the penis

Loss of the penis is a situation that does happen, and I have personally seen and been involved with it. Infection is so common that all patients with priapism should be placed on antibiotics. In rare cases, people may have a blood clot form in the penis after shunting procedures that can break off and go to the lung causing death from a condition called a pulmonary embolus.

The best way to avoid priapism is to be alert when it happens. When it occurs, go to an emergency room where there is a urologist present. If you are using penile injections and the erection lasts more than two or three hours, I recommend taking a pseudoephedrine, over-the-counter decongestant that successfully abates many cases of potential priapism. ...

Yes, guys, it CAN FALL OFF if you "abuse" it. Don't let THIS happen to you!

Just a little something to think about on the drive home.

Cheers!

[RPB67]

My sister is a Pharmacist. I am forwarding this to her. She will like this one.

Thanks !

[TheSmokingHiker]

Great joke, but man did this thread go WAY TO FAR!!!

[(909)]

I agree with the smoking hiker. I don't need to know.

[TTgirl]

To quote Elaine from Seinfeld: "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

[RcktS4]

Originally Posted by Scott M

Yes, guys, it CAN FALL OFF if you "abuse" it. Don't let THIS happen to you!

Just a little something to think about on the drive home.

Cheers!

I usually jerk off on the ride home. Won't this be distracting?

[carbonbased_al]

Originally Posted by RcktS4

I usually jerk off on the ride home. Won't this be distracting?

Ah, gotta love a good educational thread.

[TTgirl]

Originally Posted by RcktS4

I usually jerk off on the ride home. Won't this be distracting?

Only if you let it.

[snrscnr2003]

Is this the Cialis commercial spokesman