"Facts" about Chuck Norris...

[SmokeyJoe]

Here are a few facts about how tough Chuck Norris is:

--When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

--Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

--There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

--Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

--Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

--Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

--Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

--Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

--There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

--When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

--Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

--Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

--Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

--Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

--Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

--Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

--Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

--Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

--A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

--When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

--Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

--Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

--Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

[bbaug14]

There are several websites out there now that have this kind of stuff about Chuck Norris, this one being my favorite:

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

I always liked:

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light on. Not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him.

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake for a condom.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.

[Mbraud4]

Chuck Norris doesn't teabag the ladies....he potato sacks them.

[ragin' cajun]

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the earth now we have daylight savings time.

[4WheelVFR]

Chuck Norris CAN divide by zero.

[pistol]

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas

[jkorp]

It's been proven that Chuch Norris' tears cure cancer, too bad he never cries.

[Bobb]

Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong had a contest who had the most testicles...Chuck Norris won by five!!!!

[AD720]

My all time favorite -

Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris.

[CoroHo]

One I just heard: Chuck Norris put the laughter in manslaughter.

[jquirit]

This is one for all of our coffee addicts:

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

[ScottishSmoker]

By Popular belief there is only one thing that can kill Chuck Norris...a cardiac arrest...luckily, Chuck knows that his heart is smart enough not to attack him.

In the game of Scrabble, if you spell Chuck Norris, you will win. Forever.

Chuck Norris only wrote Chuck Norris on his SAT...he scored an 8000

There are many more little known facts about him...but be aware that the dinosaurs did not go extinct from a meteor crash...they were ALL killed by the ChuckNorrisSaurus..

[4thtry]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.......too bad he's never cried.

One day Chuck Norris was stabbed in the back behind a childrens hospital.......the knife bled to death.

[coachmongo66]

Chuck Norris can eat Captain Crunch without hurting the roof of his mouth.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99cents every time he listens to a song.

There is no ctrl button on Chuck Norris's computer... Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table. The only element he recognizes is suprise.

Chuck Norris is sueing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird

[dgold21]

You must try this:

Go to Google and type in "find Chuck Norris" and click the "I'm feeling lucky" button...see what happens