New Element Discovered!

[Hammerhead]

NEW ELEMENT FOUND!

The recent hurricanes and skyrocketing oil and gasoline prices helped to prove the existence of a new element. In early October 2005, a major research institution announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium."

Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called 'morons' which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called 'peons.' Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Gv causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second!

Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay; but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming 'isodopes.' This characteristic of moron promotion leads most scientists to believe that Gv is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as 'Critical Morass.'

When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes "Administratium' (Am) - an element which radiates just as much energy as Gv, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

[5thDan]

I'd really get a bigger laugh out of this if it wern't so true.

[ky toker]

Laughing my butt off, man. That is freakin' hu-larious.

[illuminatus]

Hahaha, that is freaking hilarious... but I guess you didn't know, political jokes are verboten here.. see here

[ky toker]

Originally Posted by illuminatus

Hahaha, that is freaking hilarious... but I guess you didn't know, political jokes are verboten here.. see here

Come now! This is just funny. Actually this isn't taking sides of who to poke fun at so it is making fun of everyone. Even though the Republicans are in there now I feel the joke covers all intelligent life forms in the gov.

[illuminatus]

Originally Posted by ky toker

Come now! This is just funny. Actually this isn't taking sides of who to poke fun at so it is making fun of everyone. Even though the Republicans are in there now I feel the joke covers all intelligent life forms in the gov.

When you FIND one, be sure to let us know! I was just trying to make a funny, not poo pooing the joke, I thought it was hilarious...

[cmiller]

Originally Posted by ky toker

Come now! This is just funny. Actually this isn't taking sides of who to poke fun at so it is making fun of everyone. Even though the Republicans are in there now I feel the joke covers all intelligent life forms in the gov.

Actually since the joke doesn't specify just the Federal Government and IIRC the LA state gov't is mostly Democrats I think this joke does a good job of spreading the blame to both/all parties right where it belongs.

good joke.