The Top 10 [Bizzaro World] Martha Stewart Cooking Tips:

[ChefPhil]

10. Leaving half-sucked lollipops out for sweet ants is a quick and
easy way to add nutritional value to this already popular treat.
9. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. If you're really
running late, bring the waffle iron into the shower with you.
8. A simple turkey baster can also be used to remove those pesky
beans lodged in your ear canal.
7. In a pinch, frozen water can substitute for ice.
6. Adding a dash of Drano to your liver and onions won't kill the
taste, but should numb your taste buds enough for you to swallow.
5. Remember: Steak + Crest does *not* equal "steak tartare."
4. Forget to pack the grill? No problem -- just spritz some olive
oil on your engine block and you'll be cooking in no time!
3. Ground hamster adds a distinct tasty garnish to otherwise dull
mealtimes... no, it doesn't taste like chicken.
2. Your screen door can also double as a handy cheese-grater!
and the #1 [Bizzaro World] Martha Stewart Cooking Tip:
1. For a real St. Patrick's day treat, leave the corned beef out on
the counter for a week beforehand. You not only get the taste of
corned beef, but it will be a festive shade of holiday green that
will accent your dinner table just right.

[KevinG]

Funny, but YUK!