chuck

[mattzink]

When ever I feel down or afraid I just think about my hero and all the magical shit he can do. For example... Crop circles are just Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn just needs to lay the **** down!
or
The adjective "perfect" originated when Chuck Norris gave his penis a nickname!

[Tater]

When Chuck Norris jumps in water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norrised.

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

The boogeyman checks under his bed and in his closet for Chuck Norris before going to sleep.

Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong had a contest for who has the most balls. Chuck Norris won by 5.

If you ask MC Hammer, he will tell you that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.

[RKC07-cr]

mattzink, you have been taterized.

Originally Posted by Tater

When Chuck Norris jumps in water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norrised.

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

The boogeyman checks under his bed and in his closet for Chuck Norris before going to sleep.

Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong had a contest for who has the most balls. Chuck Norris won by 5.

If you ask MC Hammer, he will tell you that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.

[mattzink]

You know, I think I like being Taterized!?

[robwhite422-cr]

man how did I Miss this thread, I love chuck Norris facts

1. When you play led zeppelin stair way to heaven backwards, you can here chuck Norris banging your sister.

2. Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter,

3. Chuck Norris tears can cure cancer, too bad he never cries...ever

4. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

[randomhero1090]

Many religious scholars wonder why the Antichrist has not come yet. It's because Chuck Norris refuses to die.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime. That one is just fantastic!

Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's ****ing beef.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

I could go on for days.....

[randomhero1090]

My favs are the real short ones.... like....

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

[Herzen]