20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

[McFortner]

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with
that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over
Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All
Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party
Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling
"Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To
Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity ..

Send a copy of this to someone to make them smile.

[JonDot]

AWESOME!!!!!I'm gonna have to try the 1 about the kids tomorrow!

[CGAR Girl-cl]

I use # 7 and #6 (sorta, I put 'for crack')

[thisone326]

hilarious! i've asked for diet water before....i love seeing peoples reactions!


#13 kinda makes me mad...i write poetry, i hate when people say that it doesn;t rhyme

[CGAR Girl-cl]

poetry can rhyme, just not all the time, but mostly it can rhyme. and rhyme well. from all that i can tell.

next reading at midnight.

[ER Doc]

Funny stuff, Michael. I like the idea pointing a hair dryer at passing cars. That's funny!

[ylo2na-cl]

Good stuff....! Best of the best has passed the test, so, keep them coming, dont let them rest....ad nauseum!
Ylo2na

[chinomalo]

Originally Posted by CGAR Girl

poetry can rhyme, just not all the time, but mostly it can rhyme. and rhyme well. from all that i can tell.

next reading at midnight.

I'm waiting.. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZz Bueller? Bueller?oflmao:

[BrianEE93-cl]

I just woke up my wife laughing!

[patefengreen]

Okay, I know this is two weeks old, but I just now got around to reading it. Funny stuff, McFortner!

[mrgatorman]

The hair dryer one is the funniest thing Ive ever heard...1,3,5,7,9,11...and ive done the drive thru order to go. Thats the greatest.

[Jimmy Ray]

Now that's insane

[nativetexan_1]

... or How to Make Others Think You're Insane While You Are the Only Sane One Left.