New Direction for the war on terrorists

[Txbob]

Send Service Vets over 50

I am over 50 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got
the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to
fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a
military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys
only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than
28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier
is a dangerous soldier. My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and
hungry. We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that
desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a
while.

An 18 -year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys
always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm
tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up
killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put
them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed
and yelled at, and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an
appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to
get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in
combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the
side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I
can hear the Drill Sgt. in the New army now, Get down and give me .. er
... one.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never
seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't
figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the
back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little
more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The
last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million
pissed-off old farts with attitude and automatic weapons who know that
their best years are already behind them.

If nothing else, put us on border patrol...we will have it secured the
first night!

[notyeraveragechick]

Well, if nothing else, you make a good case for your arguement! LOL You might have something there! However, if we think it a logical application, the govenment will either a. dismiss it or b. screw up the execution!!!!! I can think a of a few older gentlemen I know of that would (or atleast claim the would) love to go over there and open up a big ol' jar of whooopa$$!!!!!!!!
Thanks for my first good laugh of the day!!!!!