Puff Cigar Discussion Forums

CBCyclone · 08-07-2008, 06:56 PM

A man's age is determined by a trip to WalMart. PLEASE Grade yourself for this one….

Set-up:

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house; mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever.
You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in crotch, an old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tratty sneakers.
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.

Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know if you'll meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. Alsom you went to highschool with the pretty girl running the cash register.

In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on clean shorts and a shirt. Change your
shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell of the B.O. The cute girl running the cash register is the kid sister of someone you went to highschool with.

In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a fast trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the cash register is a friend of your daughter's, and you feel gilty thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the cash register smiles when she sees you coming, and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms.'

In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog shit off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in you shots. The girl running the cash register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to WalMart until theyhave your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog shit on your shoes. The young thing at the cash register smiles at you because she thinks your're a friend of her grandfather.

In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to WalMart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to remember what it was you went there for. You went to highschool with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

Paint · 08-07-2008, 06:59 PM

Thats good ,i think this is very accurate ...

Rah55 · 08-07-2008, 07:02 PM

Man, that is just too funny......and true!

KaiSQ · 08-07-2008, 07:22 PM

Very Funny, I like that (i think)

Rowdymon-cl · 08-07-2008, 07:35 PM

So for those of us who avoid Walmart with all possible passion, not to make a political statement, but because for hte most part Walmart customers are a$$hats...

What age does that make us?

*grin*