Dumping lines

[Rah55]

Don't try this at hoime.......


Answering machine: "Hi, I'm not home right now, If you're Jerry, hang up, if you are any other available male, press two now."


Dear Baby: Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: YOU



All my friends at the gay bar said I should go through with the sex change, what do you think?
-
The mothership has returned and I must leave. Pay no attention to my android double when you see it.


You've become so incredibly unattractive during these last few minutes, that I don't want to invest any more time trying to have sex with you.

I'm awfully sorry, but I have asexual tendencies...


Would you like to meet my last girlfriend? Really, its no problem, she's still chained up in my basement.



"I'm dying...and I can't ask you to watch me slowly fade away....Please, go now and remember me as I am"
-


Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.


No, seriously, I thought you were a man the whole time we were dating.


I got us tickets to Yanni!



I was only hanging around with you because I wanted to get in your mom's pants
.

I really like you. . . So does my wife.


I want a baby.


Bob, I'd like you to meet Roy.... he's your new replacement.

We've been going out for a while, and I think we're ready to go to the next level... have you heard the good news about Amway?

The judge changed my kid's visitation schedule.


Sorry, you don't make the flag on my mailbox go up anymore.


Mom says I'm too good for you.


You looked better when I was drinking.


I'd like to help you out. Now which way did you come in?


Here's the phone number of my doctor, I think you and he should talk....


Now that I'm sober...I remembered...I'm married and have a kid and live in Nebraska. I don't know why I am in St.Louis, and can I have the key to these handcuffs? Please, I need to go home.


Hey, did you know that you could leave any time now?? Yeah, I think I made it clear when I started making out with someone else over there!


I want you to meet my family. My mom is an OBGYN specializing in fertility treatments, and my dad does microsurgical vasectomy reversals. They are so excited that I'm dating someone nice!


Are you into horses and stuff? I know I am... I also like sheep. They give you that warm feeling. Hello? Are you still there?

There's been a death in the family. My hamster. Sorry.

Sorry, I just never realized how ugly you are.


"Don't forgive, dump me!"

[JonDot]

Funny!

[happy1]