Puff Cigar Discussion Forums
MEMBER CIGAR REVIEWS | STAFF CIGAR REVIEWS | CIGAR VIDEOS | ONE ON ONE INTERVIEWS | CIGAR NEWS | CIGAR FORUMS | PIPES | LIFESTYLE | CONTACT

User Tag List

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 17

Life's Truths

This is a discussion on Life's Truths within the Jokes Forum forums, part of the Everything But Cigars category; GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. ...

  
  1. #1

    Leading Puffer Fish edisonbird's Avatar


     

    Life's Truths

    GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED
    1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
    2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
    3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
    4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
    5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
    6 ) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
    7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
    You can't hide a piece of broccol! i in a glass of milk.
    9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
    10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

    GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
    1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
    2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
    3) Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
    4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
    5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
    6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

    GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
    1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
    2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
    3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
    4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
    5) It's frustrating when you know ! all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
    6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
    7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

    THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
    1) You believe in Santa Claus.
    2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
    3) You are Santa Claus.
    4) You look like Santa Claus.
    SUCCESS:
    At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
    At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
    At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
    At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
    At age 35 success is . . . having money.
    At age 50 success is . . . having money.
    At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
    At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
    At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
    At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
    Rick
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body,
    but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up,
    totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming --
    WOW -- What a Ride! Live to Live
    http://thumb3.webshots.com/s/thumb2/...3bvLdlQ_th.jpg

  2. #2

    rkt
    rkt is offline
    Leading Puffer Fish


     
    This is tooooo true!!!

  3. #3

    Shags homely sheep galaga's Avatar


     

    Re: Life's Truths

    Thank you sir, we were feeling a litle sad tonight.
    Still hefing after all these years......

  4. #4

    O Tuga pinokio's Avatar


     

    Re: Life's Truths

    Thank you... may the Lord be with you...

    [SIZE="2"][SIZE="1"]"Life is too important to be taken seriously" Corky Siegel[/SIZE][/SIZE]

  5. #5

    MoTheMentor MoTheMan's Avatar


     

    Re: Life's Truths

    Sure miss you Rick.
    I know that you're smiling down on us from above!!

    [SIZE=1]Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.[/SIZE]

  6. #6

    .090909 icehog3's Avatar


     

    Re: Life's Truths

    That made my day!

    Rick, hope you are herfing with the Big Guy tonight.

    Vodka is food....who's hungry?

    You're welcome, Dave.

  7. #7

    Puffer Fish with many spikes 5thDan's Avatar


     

    Re: Life's Truths

    Brings a smile to my heart. I miss Edisonbirds posts.
    5thDan
    [SIZE=1]A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed
    I love my Country but I fear my Government[/SIZE]

  8. #8

    Under the Radar Ron1YY's Avatar


     

    Re: Life's Truths

    You are not forgotten Rick


    Ron
    "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering
    if they've made a difference. The Marines don't
    have that problem." President Ronald Reagan 1985


  9. #9

    Evolving Lead Puffer Fish Smokey Bob's Avatar


     

    Re: Life's Truths

    Thank you
    They call it menopause because MAD COW was taken.

  10. #10

    Puffer Fish with many spikes screwbag's Avatar


     

    Re: Life's Truths

    awesome!!!
    [SIZE=4]Smoke Well![/SIZE]

  11. #11

    Elder Jungle Leader SmokeyJoe's Avatar


     

    Re: Life's Truths

    Worth reading again...
    "When I have found... a weary brain soothed, and calm, refreshing sleep obtained by a cigar, I have felt grateful to God and have blessed His name" - Charles H. Spurgeon

  12. #12

    Newbie in the ocean johnson.0's Avatar


     

    Re: Life's Truths

    thats is so the truth
    Quote Originally Posted by edisonbird View Post
    GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED
    1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
    2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
    3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
    4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
    5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
    6 ) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
    7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
    You can't hide a piece of broccol! i in a glass of milk.
    9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
    10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

    GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
    1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
    2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
    3) Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
    4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
    5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
    6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

    GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
    1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
    2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
    3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
    4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
    5) It's frustrating when you know ! all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
    6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
    7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

    THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
    1) You believe in Santa Claus.
    2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
    3) You are Santa Claus.
    4) You look like Santa Claus.
    SUCCESS:
    At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
    At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
    At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
    At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
    At age 35 success is . . . having money.
    At age 50 success is . . . having money.
    At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
    At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
    At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
    At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

  13. #13

    Locked Up jamesb3's Avatar


     

    Talking Re: Life's Truths

    So true, so true, so true! That's awesome.
    "If I cannot smoke in heaven, than I shall not go."-Mark Twain

  14. #14

    Jungle Revo Racer TanZ2005's Avatar


     

    Re: Life's Truths

    wow This post is from WAY back. Very Ture in all parts.

  15. #15

    Full grown Puffer Fish ShortyStogie's Avatar


     

    Re: Life's Truths

    LOVE IT!!! Especially the bit about what kids have learned...

    Very very true... all of it!

    -SS

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. A Life's Lesson
    By DriftyGypsy in forum Jokes Forum
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 09-24-2006, 11:58 AM
  2. Four Religious Truths
    By Hammerhead in forum Jokes Forum
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 06-26-2006, 01:31 AM
  3. Personally, I consider these truths!
    By SvilleKid in forum Jokes Forum
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 02-28-2006, 02:29 AM
  4. Life's Truths-Redux
    By bc3po in forum Jokes Forum
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-26-2005, 08:50 PM
  5. Life's Truths
    By edisonbird in forum General Cigar Discussion
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 06-26-2005, 09:45 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •