Rules for the wifes... print it out and give to her!!!

[Coop D]

Finally, 'the guy's' side of the story. We all hear "the rules" from the female side, now here are the rules from the Man side.

Please note, these are all numbered "1" on PURPOSE.

1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do ... Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become NULL and VOID after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Do not ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something, OR tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know the best way to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong, and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.....REALLY.

1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about, unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape !

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight..........but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Please pass this on to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

[smokem-cl]

perfect!

[nativetexan_1]

I laugh out loud every time I read this list.

[shroom91]

love the list specially # 1 ..lol

[Humidor Minister]

OH GREAT!!!! NOW HOW am I gonna whipe this smirk off my face.

[cdowden3691]

Now, this was damn funny.... and true!

[smokering10]

excellent

[stanthetaxman]

I, particularly, have problems with this one...

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do ... Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

[strider72]

the only problem with these rules... as simple as they are... females still will be mad at us. Sorry honey, I got a p####r and a set of a balls... You are gonna have to deal with that.

And that is why I am building a kuxury doghouse to live in.

[Coop D]

MAN CAVE!!!!