The Russian & the Hillbilly

[seegarfan]

A Russian and an American Hillbilly named Vern were set to square off for the Olympic wrestling gold medal. Before the final match, Vern's trainer came to him and said 'Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of his 'pretzel' hold he has. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're finished.' The Hillbilly nodded in acknowledgment. As the match started, Vern and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. all of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing Vern and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold. A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the inevitable happen. Suddenly, there was a long, high pitched scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and the Hillbilly collapsed on top of him, making the pin and winning the match. The trainer was astounded. When he finally got Vern alone, He asked 'How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!' Vern answered 'Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of Testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength, I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could.' The trainer exclaimed 'That's what finished him off?' Not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own nuts.