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Growing Older

This is a discussion on Growing Older within the Jokes Forum forums, part of the Everything But Cigars category; The Benefits Of Growing Older (and you thought there weren't any) In a hostage situation you are likely to be ...

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Old 06-05-2003, 04:41 PM   #1
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Growing Older

The Benefits Of Growing Older

(and you thought there weren't any)

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
No one expects you to run into a burning building.
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things you buy now won't wear out.
You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
You can eat dinner at 4:00.
You can't remember the last time you laid on
the floor to watch television.

You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
You can constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

You get cable for the weather channel.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter
who walks into the room.

You give lots of money to charities.
You sing along with the elevator music.
You have an age advantage whenever you need it.
Your congressman pays a attention to you.

You are not expected to keep up with technology and understand it.
You get travel and entertainment discounts.
Your investment in health insurance is finally paying off.
You can dance to the oldest music and no one laughs at you.

People come to you for help with their antique cars.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because
they can't remember them either.
You have great friends who think of you often
and send you lists like this.
__________________
Rick
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up,
totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming --
WOW -- What a Ride! Live to Live
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Old 06-05-2003, 07:28 PM   #2
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We'll be getting there all too soon.
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Old 06-07-2003, 02:31 AM   #3
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Yikes! 7 out of 29, thats 25%. Boy oh boy, in a blink of an eye I tell ya, and it just keeps getting better. Thanks edbird
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