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Costco Doctor

This is a discussion on Costco Doctor within the Jokes Forum forums, part of the Everything But Cigars category; One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd ...

  
  1. #1

    Elder Puffer Fish Leader


     

    Costco Doctor

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

    "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
    It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars. A lot cheaper than a doctor."

    So, Joe puts his urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.
    He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
    Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

    "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
    Thank you for shopping at Costco"



    Well, that evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

    He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

    Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
    Ten seconds later, the computer prints the following:


    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

    Thank you for shopping at Costco!

  2. #2

    Twerking ain't for Smurfs Packerjh's Avatar


     

    Re: Costco Doctor

    LOL! I love it
    Just one little Smurf against the world....I feel sorry for you World! BOOM, suckas!

  3. #3

    THE MAN WHO LOVES TWANG! TonyBrooklyn's Avatar


     

    Re: Costco Doctor

    “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”
    Jimi Hendrix



  4. #4

    Huge Puffer Fish packed with spikes Hannibal's Avatar


     

    Re: Costco Doctor

    That is EXCELLENT!!! LMAO!!!
    My Cellar: http://www.tobaccocellar.com/hannibal
    Proud to have served 1988-2000 U.S. Army!!

  5. #5

    Nee "Tashaz" Mante's Avatar


     

    Re: Costco Doctor

    ROTFLMAO....... Ah the wonders of new technology.
    Refuses to remain the Droid they were all looking for.

  6. #6

    King Kongs Decendant exprime8's Avatar


     

    Re: Costco Doctor

    now that was good...
    - Sin City Bomber -

  7. #7

    Off to Cigar bum. com jhedrick83's Avatar


     

    Re: Costco Doctor

    I love it!

  8. #8

    Chicken of the Sea Bondo 440's Avatar


     

    Re: Costco Doctor

    nice !
    Kitty Litter Convert #KL1245

  9. #9

    Maturing Puffer Fish Lobo218's Avatar


     

    Re: Costco Doctor

    That's was good.

  10. #10

    Joe beercritic's Avatar


     

    Re: Costco Doctor

    Sweet!

  11. #11

    Pipe Smokin' Piranha DSturg369's Avatar


     

    Re: Costco Doctor

    Dale

  12. #12

    Puffer Fish with many spikes RayJax's Avatar


     

    Re: Costco Doctor

    Hilarious!

  13. #13

    No longer a community member.


     

    Re: Costco Doctor


  14. #14

    Leading Puffer Fish 68 Lotus's Avatar


     

    Re: Costco Doctor

    Stogie Newb-a-notknow
    It's what You Learn After You Know It ALL!....That Counts!!!

  15. #15

    "Keeping it lit" fiddlegrin's Avatar


     

    Re: Costco Doctor

    Ka-Hahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahaahahahaha!

    Thanks Dave!
    Dafiddla
    "What Could be Finer, than a Spanish Cedar Liner?"

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